• http://www.amazon.com/The-Thomases-Road-Realization-ebook/dp/B009BATQUA/

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Faith ? or its look alikes.........?

I have been pondering on an aspect of demonstrative faith in God or religion, since the first week of BIGG BOSS season 3.
Sitting with a HUGE photo of Jesus on elimination day, the contestant in Bigg Boss hopes probably not to be eliminated owing to the power of God beside? Or is it a hope that the photo would remind that everything is as per the will of God? Is the photo beside a reflection of faith or rather infact of a lack of faith..of a nervousness, of fear...
God and faith is a matter of the heart, not of an object or taking the NAME during trials. When taking an exam if a student keeps thinking about GOD, he will waste so much time and misdirect the focus from the questions in front of him on the paper. When we take our focus to an outside object (when infact the real energy called God is part of us), we move the inside energy to the outside and become weaker rather than stronger! It is fear that plays this trick with us of weakening us by dissipating our energy to the outside and keeping on asking(in all futility of course) that it help us!!! That is why probably the Bible gives the commandment.."Do not take the name of the LORD your GOD in VAIN" When we focus on our trials, the whole of our faculties and power inside is directed on the problem..and then what we do is empowered and perfected in a divine and yet real way.

Another thing to consider in this regard is extremism in (any) religion. Somewhere in my book (in the initial posts of the blog) I have declared that I believe in all scriptures because doubting one is doubting all the others. All scriptures have a basic agreement on core matters. Some do not speak on certain issues whereas others do. Therefore I chose to refer to scriptures only for basic understanding. It is said that everything should be done in moderation,(including moderation). So I feel there should be moderation in terms of looking into the scriptures for answers too. I have spent 12 posts and even more years pondering about scriptural truths. But despite having faith in scriptures, I do not feel compelled to read the Bible EVERY day. When beset with problems I am aware and I know that the God connected to me through my heart is giving me answers and I know I do not really need to randomly open the Bible and find answers there, though I may sometimes chose to. Religion is a guide that leads to our spirit. Once connected to the spirit,we have to leave the hand of religion..otherwise when we should have started looking in our hearts for further answers, if we still compulsively look into religion we may be led to Extremist viewpoints and due to fear we may wrongly disregard our heart. This is what happens to extremists in ALL religions. They think that there is no way they can trust their heart over the sometimes conflicting words in their scripture. But they should also think...Do they love GOD? yes. They follow the core of the religion? yes. Their spirit is aroused? yes. Then God is now unvieled in their hearts. And if this spiritually opened heart is pointing to a different direction in certain things compared to what is 'written'.., the trust I believe should be placed on what the heart says. Written things may get distorted or influenced with time but the heart connected to spirit is true. It is not faith to follow written words that conflict our conscience..it is rather again the trick that fear plays with us that keeps us compulsively hooked to words on paper rather than giving heed to the direct words heard by our heart. Take an example. Which is proper of a servant to do?..To follow a paper which has passed through hundreds of people and is claimed to be from his master or follow the direct words that his master comes later and tells him? Should he say that, no master I wont follow your instruction because the message you sent me through so and so says something different?

It is always important to be clear what drives our actions...Is it faith or is it really fear? The answer to this will guide us to the right decisions, to follow the faith directed paths......

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Informed Love

My daughter in UKG told me that she saw a Cinderella cartoon Movie in school and liked it very much. Great..I just hope she does not take fairy tales too seriously or grow up on a staple diet of that. There are certain things I would like to inform her as she grows up..I am hoping for the right questions from her so that I can know the right aspects to deal with as per her age and stage in life.

Girl children brought up in conservative households have one advantage maybe of being too shy of the opposite sex to mingle with them (and so are 'protected') and therefore maybe can be shoved safely into an arranged marriage. But then their delayed realization, that is after marriage, that fairy tale men and real men are as different as Venus and Mars, can be quite shocking and difficult to accept and can create severe emotional problems. This is because what should infact be learned gradually is thrust into a capsule and given when views and expectations have really firmly set in the mind. The disadvantage then of conservative upbringing is emotional vulnerability.

Life and men do not turn out to be as perfectly put as fairytales are. Maybe there should be little stories taught in school or elsewhere, where the differences in thinking and attitude of men and women come clear so that as time progresses both sexes can correctly interpret the opposite sex's hidden messages.

Here are a few differences that they should learn as they approach, or are in, the teen age.

1. Women evaluate men as a person first and the way to their hearts is via the brain. Men evaluate women first according to their body and appearance and desirability.

2. Women Like to be appreciated, and dressing provocatively is (more often than not) merely because of self Love and desire for attention. They often don't realize the extent of the effect it can create.
Men can wrongly interpret this as 'seeking sex'because unlike women, men are biologically prone to be too often thinking of sex and so wrongly think that it must be the same with women.

3.Women are dreamers and desire a person who can LOVE them more than anything else (rather than about sex).
But most men do not have the concept in their system of a 'one and only' or a 'true love'. They love all desirable women and often a beautiful woman in their life can mean another of their possessions (like cars or latest mobiles) that they can boast of possessing

4. When men do realize the'being in love', it may or usually be true (because they were not looking for it and it was a discovery!), though never all exclusive. It is rare that a man could think of a woman, before he thinks of money and cars. And man 'cant help' being attracted to sexy women despite being in love with one. It is biological and women should learn to accept that.
But women can rarely be too content with a man's 'true love' as they generally want all the attention of their Man exclusively for themselves. Because women unlike men CAN love a man exclusively. But 'TRUE' LOVE can be in fact be a bit more difficult for women because women can generally never see love as non possessive and unconditional. Men value their freedom and therefore can rather more easily be unconditional and non possessive in love.(although these factors may reverse {flip around} for both sexes as the relationship progresses, that is men may get possessive as women turn non possessive often due to disillusionment and hence non expectation in love)

5. Women are REALLY from VENUS and ALL men are REALLY from MARS and no NOT EVEN ONE of the men is from VENUS!!

All these above given information, though can always be learnt from books but both young boys and young girls DO NOT REALLY BELIEVE IT unless they experience this truth firsthand!! Therefore it is really essential to learn these truths first hand, slowly but surely in small 'non-harmful' doses. Men have to learn that women's biology is such that unless they get proper information when they are in their teens(which is rare) they cannot really understand sex!! The desire that they seem to possess is REALLY only for LOVE. Women should learn that though they would like a fairy tale prince, the characteristics that they want is rare in a real Man, and are only found in women!!
So maybe unfortunately, but it becomes important to accept men as different beings and see if they can be loved despite these terrible differences that Mars endows them with. But hey, we women can be sure it is TRUE LOVE we feel and not mere a feed to our ego and vanity, only when despite of all the turn off differences, we still cant help but be drawn to one of these 'difficult to love' mars creatures...

PS: In this article, the term sex is used only to imply to the basic act (not foreplay). Teenage girls may not find it that easy or natural to understand the actual act because unlike for boys, their puberty changes do not provide clues to the actual act. Of course today's generation is more explicit with sharing information and therefore sexual awakening due to either clear understanding or even experience can be earlier. And after sexual awakening a woman may become quite similar in terms of sexual appetite as a man. Though this is true, still uptill the age of atleast 20, a woman does need to be considered as per the above article, because in a conservative society like India, it stands quite true even now and it is important for young men to interpret the non verbal messages of teen girls keeping the above information in mind.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Sachin Tendulkar

I have been thinking since the past week of writing a blog to honour Sachin after his much written about 175 in hyderabad..But the papers are replete with articles about him as he completes his 20 years in International cricket. Maybe another article in the net from me is not really necessary but still I want to. I have not really been a fan of cricket. And after the match fixing fiasco, I haven't even watched a whole match. But through it all I have always admired Sachin and maybe he is the only one I would say I am a fan of. Whenever he has been criticized for some non performances, I have felt ashamed about those who criticize him. I may never see a match but I can always say with certainty that it was just the luck that day and not any lack in Sachin. He is one person who I believe does not ever deserve to be negatively criticized. I have seen him stand at the crease to bat. I can see his eyes and his demeanor. Here is a man who plays for the nation. His focus on the ball and the game and the focus on the need of the team comes through in his attitude and his eyes. He is so focused that it comes through burning the TV screen.

Quite like his wife, I too have often wondered "How is it that he is not affected by pressures of expectations or negative criticisms or even self doubts" This is his strength that has often made him carry forth a one man show in the game, where those with not as much mental toughness crumble at the other end of the crease.

Sports is as much a test of mental toughness as of physical toughness and technique.
Weaker minds wither away in a sport that puts on so much pressure on every moment
He is a strong enduring Mind. A mind to give honour to...always..whatever he scores..

Recieving the Eucharist

Today in church, I really was touched by the sermon of our aged priest..It was about being like little children and forgetting and forgiving immediately after a fight. He asked us to remember all those whom we hadn't forgiven and forgive them. I felt the whole process very liberating and shedding all and any anger against anybody or even against myself, I proceeded towards the alter for recieving the eucharist(the body and blood of christ). I noticed the young priest who was giving away the eucharist,looking suspiciously at a lady three places in front of me in line as she moved away after recieving the eucharist. Probably she didnt recieve it in the proper way and the priest suspected that she was not a christian. He asked another man to bring her back. He was distracted and had anger writ on his face. I had noticed the woman who had taken the eucharist and passed by me, she had looked blessed to have recieved the eucharist. The priest was looking away at where the lady had gone as he gave the eucharist to the two in front of me. He was still looking away distracted as he kept me waiting for the eucharist. I felt upset as he had managed to kill all my feelings out of the blessedness of the act that I was to perform in recieving the eucharist! Quite involuntaritly I opened my palms which had been joined in prayer and posed a questioning "what!!" with it at the priest!Sorry!!! Mercifully I guess the priest was too busy looking away to notice me.

After the eucharist the priest went towards the back to where the woman was standing. I saw the agressive expression on his face as he passed by. I looked back to see him question them. From the gestures and expressions in the answers I guessed they were christians all right, probably 'reasonably new converts' which could have led to some mistake or whatever, that had made the priest doubt that she may not be christian.
I know that the church forbids non christians from recieving the eucharist.. but really for me personally whoever comes to church with reverence is a christian. Ofcourse the priests have to be alert with their duties...
But I really wish they didnt have this duty to do which could distract them from the duty to give 100% of their prayerful presence to those who had come with reverence to recieve the eucharist- the body and blood of Christ- from his hands.
And I also wish that those standing in line to recieve it don't take it upon themselves to question those alongside in line whether they are christian or not(I have witnessed it happen too -on a christmas morning -and in that case too, the one questioned was a christian, a regular infact!).
Those standing for eucharist and the one giving, in my opinion, have to be totally looking into their own selves, to see how much of a christian they themselves are as they prepare to give or recieve the body and blood of christ.

Sunday, October 25, 2009


I have been talking about poetry to a blogger friend and that has put me in the poetic mode.
As topic, I am choosing to write in verse, something I had painted in oil a few years back which I had titled conflict..It depicted a conflict between reality and ideals and how it can feel like two forces are pulling you to two opposite directions, each demanding that you believe in them and not the other. We want to believe in ideals but reality keeps pulling us to the ground...
These two(reality and Ideals) are more often than not... poles apart. We have to close our eyes to the reality so that we can believe in Ideals.
This poem comes to terms with these two mutually excluding phenomenon. Accepting that they rarely come together...


Dreams fly and soar,they are wings fluttering free
Truth grounds and floors,it is earth rooting me
Am I flying am I rooted, or ‘conflict’ in entirety!

Oh the sky has its pull, but the roots have their hold
Yet mind is never still, though the past put in mould
Yes, there are the wishes....then there is the practicality!

I move to a future, then move back to a past
I am pulled, I am held, I am tearing apart
Oh I stop the striving, ‘Pull apart to a rarity!’

The light shines on me, but darkness doesn’t leave
In my hands there is joy, but inside there is grief
Bright..are the ideals, untouched...reality.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Dead End?...

I usually avoid thinking about the environment, because whenever I have thought of it, my thinking process reaches a dead end.
Yeah I did my Masters in Environment Science and I guess I am expected to read and think about the environment and be up to date with the statistics..What for?

There has been 12.8% increase in GHG emissions by developed nations in 2007 compared to 1990 levels as per the reports. There is increase of emissions dispite all so called measures! But there has been no dearth in concern and conventions and the blame game. The only thing that is not there is reduction in the emissions.

What can I do about it apart from reading and keeping track of the conventions and the figures? Can I stop going out on pleasure trips because I have to use a vehicle to reach there..Should I be thinking about how my vehicle helps to escape to natural environments or do I worry about how it is responsible for polluting the environment.
Should I avoid going to supermarkets because they have not found an alternative to plastic covers. I have racked my brain often and have not been able to think of a better alternative than plastics. It just doesn't seem possible...Should the supermarkets give us our purchase in synthetic cloth bags and charge a little extra from the customers? Anyway what unnatural product doesn't cause pollution at some stage;during manufacture, use or disposal? And what natural product does not get depleted or lead to a depletion in some way when extensively used or produced? Say how much of land has to used for the cultivation of crops, the non edible oil of which can be used as a bio-fuel, to produce a fair enough supplement to fossil fuels?(Fargione et al. (2008) estimated that the conversion of rainforests, peatlands, savannahs or grasslands to produce ethanol and biodiesel in Brazil, Indonesia, Malaysia or the United States of America releases at least 17 times as much carbon dioxide as those biofuels save annually by replacing fossil fuels.) So is it really a feasible alternative? Inexhaustible resources? Solar Power? Doesn't cost put us off when we look to harness the inexhaustible resources on a large scale?
...Don't we always end up at a dead end?

But I am an optimist or maybe I want to be an optimist..and so I hope it is my limited intellectual capacities that make me unable to see that there is actually a way out and that it is not a dead end.

The human mind has solved a lot of problems over the centuries. But solutions sometimes brings other problems as side effects.. Yeah, I really DONT blame man for pollution!
Man found solutions to how to travel fast and faster, how to fly in the sky, How to operate without causing pain, How to prolong lives, create immunity, how to clothe ourselves better, how to create more supplies of food, how to keep away mosquitoes so that we can sleep well. . Can we do without these developments? If we can't , we also can't grumble about the side effects can we?

Man has noticed very well the enormity of the problems that some of his solutions have created and so is working on a solution(hopefully... side effect free)

I trust in man's unique intellectual gifts and have been waiting and am waiting for a smart brain to come up with the right answers...

And till that happens...I don't really want to know the statistics.....

PS: I am beginning think (hope I wont be sounding depressing) that the universe is not just intended to have been created and sustained for eternity. Maybe the cycle has to end with destruction and a new cycle has to begin (as all scriptures have always been saying). Well, why am I suddenly thinking so? Because just ponder..is man not a part of nature? Is his intelligence not nature's gift and if that intelligence is causing imbalance in nature leading to the possibilities of destruction ...then isn't actually nature doing this to itself?!
Of course we cant end on that note..Maybe we can just say that it is up to Man to work out a longer 'sustainance' possibility

Saturday, October 10, 2009

THAT WHICH GOD has united....

When I read of really bad marriages, like where the man beats his wife regularly and the wife finally kills him...or where the man abuses the self esteem of the wife constantly by saying she is not worth even looking at and then ends up one day being burnt alive by the wife..., I wonder, wouldn't it have been better if at a right moment they had said 'no' to the torturous relationship and opted for divorce!

I shouldn't be the one saying this...Wasn't it only last sunday that I heard the sermon where Jesus tells the people that Moses allowed for divorce because the people's hearts were hard. But the truth is that if a man or woman divorces and joins another, the person is guilty of committing adultry. He says that, 'What God has united, let not man separate.'

But still I am the one saying this because, after that sermon I have been repeatedly rallied with related informations, that make me conclude for one that.....

...The statements I heard in the sermon also mean that, opting for divorce is, opting for the lesser evil, when one or the other of the person involved in the nuptial bond has a 'hard heart'! (Hard heart has to be a heart not open to God)
When a marriage shows posibilities of worse consequences than divorce, isnt it better to opt for the lesser evil!

The sermon on sunday (the 4th of october), had put me in a contemplative mood for some time. I wondered about the implications of the words. Two days later I opened the CD on chakra meditation by shri shri Ravi Shankar that I had brought in the art of Living class. While doing the meditation, I remembered of the book on REIKI that I had in which there was a study on the seven chakra's in the human body and so took it out and read it again.

The very next day on 7th of oct, I read of 'The Divine aspect of an Ideal Relationship'(Yogi Ashwini) in The Speaking Tree, The Times of India, in which the ideal relationship was supposed to be a bonding at the levels of the seven chakras(energy centres)of the body! Bonding of only the lower chakras implies that the purpose of the relationship is lower like sharing belongings or sexual and selfish purposes.Bonding of higher chakras implies that the purpose is higher like selfless love and spiritual purposes. It said that 'How long a marital relationship lasted would depend upon the evolution of that relationship. The higher the purpose, the longer the union would be.'

That would also mean that two people at different levels of spiritual development, if joined in marriage may never join completely! It can be because of the lack of willingness to be influenced by the other partner to bring the relationship to higher levels of bonding.

So my other conclusion is that..What is actually ununited at the level of God, goodness and selfless love is not really being separated in Divorce (at social or emotional level), it just always has been that..'ununited'!

The social function of marriage is not the only thing required to call a union as facilitated by God. What GOD UNITES cannot be just a social or surface union, it has to be a complete union.

Therefore, that bond which is also(or at the heart, one is aware of it's potential to be) at the level of the energies(chakras) of God, goodness and selfless love, is a union by (and in )God, and under negative influences or circumstances the selfish man inside should not opt, to separate.Also it is important to remember the quote "Everyone in your life will hurt you sooner or later. What you have to decide is what is more important, The Pain or The Person" It is very rare that a sincere heart would want to give up on a person one has spent years with, the person that God might have assigned to help grow spiritually. If nothing else works to unite at all levels,sincere family prayers included into the routine might work towards bringing in the complete union.

WHAT GOD HAS UNITED, let not man separate....
THAT WHICH GOD HAS UNITED can not be or atleast never stays an incomplete union
THAT WHICH GOD HAS UNITED has to be a complete union....

Saturday, October 3, 2009


I am amused by something that I am guilty of!! I have spent quite a few years of my life hitting my head over contradictions in spiritual teachings and now.... I am guilty of often contradicting my own statements!

I wrote, that I believed in fate but I also wrote that thoughts can create our future! I wrote about the effect of planets and I also wrote about free will! But I am not really being unsure, I am just observing the truths in life and 'wondering' loud in my blog. I realise finally that seekers are only stating their 'wonder' and readers see 'contradiction' when they look at the different writings but fail to learn directly by looking for themselves at the object that inspired the writings or statements.

Sure there is the 'Karma' that determines the future of an individual, and definitely there is also the power of prayer and power of God that can overcome all and any influences on destiny. The truth that we experience everyday in life is too compex to chalk out in black and white. We can only open our eyes in wonder at each new discovery a day brings and the next contradicts! We can just understand all the various influences on our life as we understand light. Light is composed of many colours/wavelengths, in the same way the influences in our life are many. In the morning light seems red because the red component is more dispersed. In the day time the blue colour is more visible. Similarly in our life at different points of time some of the influences may be more prominent than the other. When it is night there is no light just as when the soul, the higher self is in control of the body, physical influences recede in importance.

Even relationships are too complex to be tied in a law. It is great to write out the do's and dont's, the right and wrong but difficult to follow it through while living with the dynamics of relationships. There is the option of looking into the rule book or the option of looking directly at what might have inspired the writing of a rule book. Finally again when the soul, the higher self is in control of the body, there are no rules to be followed, just the will coming from the depth of the heart is to be followed.

I feel that there are really no laws or rules that are absolute and which cannot be proved to be breakable, if the powers that rule us decide to prove it to us! Even the Titanic sank. Even our will or our purity or our perfections can sink under some unforseen impact or impacts. Is it even really true that will, purity, perfections or even ships should never sink, should never falter should never fail! The truth amuses me, makes me laugh like a child seeing the joke in what as an adult I would be expected to cry over. There is nothing we can pride in. Can we take pride in our knowledge at least. How?, when even our knowledge is only the discoverer's wonder, not the inventor's genious

But yes, 'wonder' is the real state of knowing.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

The 'PIE' ('Pulling-In' Effect) of Thoughts

Around two- three weeks back I was looking up books in a bookstore when suddenly I remembered that there was a book I was meaning to read but couldn’t remember what the book was. It was time to go to the evening mass and about then I remembered that it was the book ‘The Kite Runner’ that I had been wanting to get an idea of before deciding to read it. Surprisingly enough a few days after this incident the book did arrive in my house with my cousin but I got busy doing my art of living class, blogged about it on 19th, and then two days later I found some free time to go through the book. I managed to rush through it before my cousin left the next day. But I was wonder struck. Wasn’t this book about ‘regret’ and how it courses some of our future decisions! Wasn’t this book in line with what I had blogged two days before on 19th about how negative can lead to positive! The kite had landed in my home and evidently I must have been pulling it in! This is my umpteenth of such experiences. Another of such experience in the recent past is of the famous book ‘The Alchemist’ by Paulo Cohelo which was (I felt later) strangely being pulled in slowly but surely for more than a year. I hadn’t liked the title when I first heard of it (around one and a half year back) because it seemed to be connected with chemistry and so I just presumed I would find it boring. I kept avoiding it till I read ‘Eleven Minutes’ by the same author and it opened my mind to the author. The book (The Alchemist) was finally purchased by my husband but the title still proved a put off for a week. In the meanwhile I blogged a poem “The Secret”, and it was a day or two after, that I started reading ‘The Alchemist’. Thankfully it didn’t have much to do with chemistry! As most would know, it basically dealt with the topic of listening to the heart and about omens and I couldn’t help but notice a definite element of connection with the content of the poem 'The Secret' that I had written (The poem talks about listening to the heart and not go by just bookish understanding of matters)! Had my discoveries and thoughts been pulling this book in slowly but surely thus bringing concurrent thoughts out there in the world and which further established my faith in my conclusions!

Recently I read in the paper something that I again found finally in a queer way connected to the chain of thoughts I had been having for a week.
It was about a 68 year old man who sought consolation from Deepak Chopra, because he was feeling that his life had been meaningless as he had tried to achieve ‘something’ by reading spiritual books and learning classical music but did not feel he achieved anything. Deepak Chopra as always did his best to console him. He basically suggested getting rid of self pity and focus on the‘now’

But for quite a moment I thought -there is no way that man can be consoled After all he wanted ‘something’ and he didn’t get it in 68 years! Of course there is that ready made answer we can think of, that ‘he was not clear what he wanted and so didn’t get it’. But really, just think; when you go to a clothes shop, do you really know what you might end up liking. And then the tired salesman tells you to be specific what you want! It is normal in life to be unsure what u want, but when the right thing comes in front, there is that ‘ahHa! This is it!’ moment.
Now there are really two possibilities, either the 68 year old man ‘really’ didn’t get the ‘ahHa moment’ or maybe he got his ‘something’ right into his hands but failed to notice it because he was still looking out there into the stacks and not right in front of him..
We all pull in ‘that something’ that ‘pie’ that our heart has been pining for, but only our heart knows what that something is. Our ‘surface scanning and depth blind’ brain may in fact crowd out the message from our heart and fail to notice that, what life placed in our hands in an unattractive garb is actually what our heart has been really pining for. We then squander away that wealth quite simply because we didn’t open the wrapping. We squander it because we were expecting it to be out there in the stack in better wrappings rather than sitting unassumingly in our hands!
Sometimes what keeps us from our treasure is looking with our brain rather than with our heart. The smart logical brain fails to see that sometimes what glitters may not be as valuable, and what does not glitter may end up to be worth more than an equal in gold.

We have to practice being aware of the kites that come falling into our arms while we were busy spinning a thread of thoughts. We have to see the connection the kite has to our thread of thoughts and realize that we ourselves have pulled it in. It is only then that we can value it, go for it, and make the most of it.

Friday, September 18, 2009

Art of Living

One thing I enjoy in life is making new friends, as it leads to new discoveries, a whole new perspective to life. It is decades of different circumstaces, different understandings leading to different discoveries that we gain in one new friendship. Now I look at shri shi Ravi Shankar as the first new friend that I have managed to make in this new place. I was starved for a friend in a new place and it was a wonderful coincidence that my husband should suggest that I do the Art of Living course as it fell exactly in the week that my parents came visiting us and so could take care of my kids while I attended the course. In the class I made a new friend... in shri shri Ravi Shankar though I have'nt seen him ofcourse . He has shared his understanding and self research in the study of breath.People were surprised that I a christian was attending a "Hindu" course. And I was so surprised about their surprise! What in the world is "Hindu" or "non-christian" about breathing a bit differently!! I was later again surprised when, while researching on the breathing techniques,I discovered that some christian sections do not consider it very proper to undertake these classes! I feel rather that it is essential to understand the one thing that we definitely do as living entities which is to breathe. If we can take medicines to relieve stress and depression and that is not 'non-christian', then definitely using understanding of breath to relieve depression and stress is definitely not non-christian. We attend anything in any class to take what we want and have the option to ignore what we don't subscribe to.

Another point that I would like to share is "my new friend's" understanding about the positive and negative things in life. He reiterates what Indian scriptures have to say, that there is no experience of positive without the experience of negative. Hence one cannot be without the other. Duality is the nature of everything.

Though difficult to remember in negative circumstances one cannot argue against the truth to it. In positive circumstances we recognize the coincidences etc that lead to the good events. In negative circumstances we wonder whom to blame for it.We think 'maybe if this had not been done, maybe if I had said something else, maybe if I had not surrendered to my feelings, maybe if my nature was different.. things would have been different?'. Why is it that we often accord God for the good in life and want to blame ourselves for all the Bad! A moment has a power of it's own that sometimes makes us react uncharacteristic to our nature but though what it leads to may be read by our limited mental faculties as negative,but if we are aware, we can realize that the negative event would have changed our direction to new discoveries in life, to new experiences, and all 'so very positive' which would have been inaccessible without the nudge of the negative.

It is therefore possible to feel blessed to have the negative in life, but it does not mean we would be smiling through that rough patch of negative. The same way that positive in life brings smile and laughter..negative brings tears and anger and suffering. But we have our knowledge, like a log we hold on to in the flood,to help us live and pass through the 'negative' gift in our life..

Sunday, August 23, 2009

An Alternate Reality

Sometimes it is easier on psycholigical health to create an alternate reality and live in it. To live in a tailormade reality, when truth can be shattering or painful. The real world is not really for everyone. It is easier to be born, than to face the realities of life.

The papers revealed that "Sachh ka Samana' the Indian version of the popular reality show " Moment of Truth, had affected the common public to play it out in their own homes and it even led to a suicide where the person couldnt stand the truth that he made his spouse admit to. What I believe is; if you can bear only one option as an answer to a question don't ask it. The truth is not for the feeble hearted. Life and people are only what we believe it or them to be. It is often better to believe what we want to believe. And it is also quite sadistic to force the truth on a spouse who is happy to believe in an imagined reality.

An alternative to reality or an alternate reality is lived in and required in various contexts and circumstances. To look at another context is the latest issue over history. Jaswant Singh,senior leader of BJP was not really wrong in writing what he felt to be the truth(about Jinnah, even if he seemed to favour him), neither was the BJP very wrong in showing non support to his views (by expelling him), as their party and it's members had to adhere to their own tailormade truth.

After these episodes, I understand better why a Christian publication I approached for publishing my book "The Thomases' Road to Realization' (which seeks to convey that all religions are speaking of one truth), cited one of their reasons for not publishing it as(in essence) -it being too secular for christian publishing. I see the point; Each religious institution needs to hold on to its own or else wont there become a single universal religion..a single party all believing the same truth?

But is that really so bad? Acknowledging the uniting factors or getting a different perspective does not take away the essence of any party or institution. Rather it only confirms that the essence is absolute making it in all hearts firmer and unshakable, quite like how all sticks tied together is unbreakable!

The world stays as it is for now believing that it cannot be interesting being united and one. Happy with the way things are, afraid of change or trying out a new perspective and a new way to being the world. Those with a mind and heart for the universal truth cannot live in this static world, they have no option yet, except to imagine a united world and live in that alternate reality.

Friday, August 14, 2009

The Time for Everything

There is a beautiful hymn sung in the church, I believe ascribed to Solomon, about how there is a time for everything. I love that hymn and believe in addition that the time and order in which god gives us his gifts, is quite removed from what we logically think as appropriate. We get things actually in the order of our emotional readiness and maturity which may require some lessons that delay or reverse the order in which things should appear in life.
As an example for reversal; people search for a person who can love him/her. They marry have children..and yet being truly loved alludes them..When they give up on the concept of love, it happens..with the discovery that to be in love is actually 'loving' and not 'being loved'.It is a reverse order;where the proper order is to learn to love and then marry.
As an example of delay; I had a diary with some of my poetry when I was in my teens which I lost in a moving. That loss prevented me from indulging in any serious poetry for more than a decade as I was only thinking of my lost poems, until recently when I got a much needed push to write again. Now I have an internet diary in which I can write without fearing it getting lost due to my movements and even an avenue where I can share it unlike with the diary which I would have never shared. Moreover I feel I have more emotional maturity and experience now to have a substantial topic for a poem. Everything has a proper time. We just have to send our wish to the universe and it will take its time to set the stage perfectly and then when it is absolutely ready it will open its curtains on you. The longer it takes remember that the bigger and better the stage the universe is preparing than we had in our minds.
This poem celebrates 'proper time'...Apart from that it mentions the secret- the one thing that should be followed as we chart our path in life- The secret is that it is the heart that should be followed and not the written rules of the world, whenever there is a conflict in the direction pointed by each...

The child sat up in bed that night
and said the prayer so clear outright
"dear lord I love you. I think I know
that you are near, watching me grow
But I wish I knew what you want of me
'cause I waste each day 'with no decree'"

Each day she had the same one prayer
but that one night, it got hard to bear
As tears fell down and wet her bed
her angel sat beside and said,
"dear child I'm yours and very near..."
in her ears she heard that whisper clear

"...watching you, not waste a single day
as you end each one, with a time to pray
just a child it is, your time to be;
to sing and play and dance with glee
sharp your sense and your heart ready
for life is a path of discovery"

"As for that quest, the worry anew
'what do I have in life to do?'
The answer dear, is hard t'adhere
Its to live a life without a fear
with a humble heart you should recieve
all that your god has planned to give

Not just the joy, but the miseries too
and end each prayer with a true 'thank you'
God sure will give all that you want
but only when you've stopped to count
God has an order, in which he gives
and that will clash, with your planned motives

you'll find seven heavens, when you work your earth
you'll find your love when you'v lost its worth
Its not when you ask, that you do get
When the soil is ready, the seed can set
So take gods gifts, when he chooses to yield
and now a secret I will unveil

What n when He gives, will cause turmoil
your long held values, it will spoil
Soon you will fear, what gifts could cost
as you unlearn..., all your values lost.
Now the secret is 'Its not in deed,
it's in the heart, which you should heed"

"Oh dear" cried the girl, and woke with the scream
"Thank heavens it's nothing, nothing but a dream!
I wouldn't, I wouldn't loose all that I learn!"
But the secret revealed, in her heart did burn
"Follow not, oh never; all deed out of fear
Follow me, your heart, to god it is near"

Friday, August 7, 2009

the celebrity speak

Aug 6th Times of India quizzed SRK asking his view on the Hashmi stand as to its effect on further dividing the nation rather than pointing out concerns.. SRK took a stand by not taking a stand on the platform that is so readily available to 'celebrities'. I also agree with him when he says of himself that he is a Good Thinking Mind. Though I have my information of his words only from the television and the newspaper and might have missed out a great deal of his words but what I have read in the few decades of his career are enough for me to agree that he definitely is a good thinking mind, also down to earth who does not feel that his biography requires to be written, who calls himself a mere capitalist actor, who does not appreciate things being said by 'stars' not as much for the sake of the concern as for holding the public attention. He understands the fact that sometimes it is appropriate not to speak up an issue for the larger good than to beat the drum and create worse situations. It is proper when a star refrains from using the platform that is so readily available to them. And such a star when he chooses to speak no doubt has attentive ears as opposed to those who make a beeline for the platform without giving the matter full thought.

And I am not saying this because I am 'starstruck' by SRK. I personally think that it is illogical to be celebrity crazy. Those in the entertainment industry are only to me as important as the handsome man next door doing a 10 to 6 job who does not happen to have a platform. And SRK is only as important as a wise neighbour would be.It is just that we wouldnt have heard what he has to say if not for the fact that he is in the entertainment industry.

Though a great deal of the populace may be celebrity crazy, (to the extent that even for an article on guru purnima the papers think of none but filmstars gurus interesting) I am sure that beyond repairing boredom, deepdown the thinking minds do know whom to listen to and what to let pass the other ear. So speak up 'wise neighbours'. With the other issue that SRK seems to be having is about being misquoted or misunderstood, I would just say that when a person is understood by the discerning public, it doesnt matter if once in a lifetime he blundered into a fight or ended up being misquoted.It is indeed not a reason to become insecure. Though the number of viewers of his films may not always be on the upward trend it only reflects on the film. I personally have seen without finding one or other fault in the acting of SRK around 4 of the umpteen I have watched(though most were still entertaining and SRK was charming all the same; and hope SRK fans will excuse my criticism on the grounds of my being a virgo) I do not judge him on his acting but on his words which as much as I have read have always been intelligent amusing and well thought out. And I feel that is what popularity and being celebrated is all about. That celebration once set into thinking minds does not really have a downward trend.

Saturday, August 1, 2009


I have been thinking to write certain thoughts on films and what better but to write the day after I see another film in Theatre. I saw Luv Aaj Kal and liked it. I feel the people in the age group of thirty to forty (in India)have witnessed and been part of both the today and the yesterday sort of romance and this group must be the most torn most confused wondering whether they belong to aaj or kal. Some probaly made good the transition, some look back with nostalgia, and some are still trying to mould their minds to adjust to the paradigm shift.
That apart I feel films should reflect what the society wants within itself because of the tremendous power of films to influence. I want to particularly write about films on terrorism. I feel such films should not be made. It may seem that I am writing without thinking..but have actually been thinking since some seeming coincidences. A few films on terrorism were followed by terrorist attacks. One attack particularly in Ahemadabad Hospital compound was a copy from a certain film. Films may be trying to instill the message of peace but such message films are not followed by peace but by more destruction! It is dangerous to advice sadists as it only fuels them to do more. (see post on terror attacks). Rather films should dwell on happy things that could only bring good to society if aped. No it wont limit creative expression!
Films seldom serve too good as advice or message. People on the otherhand get some inherent faction of the film rubbed off on to them. Let it be positivity then that gets rubbed on (like in love aaj kal). If filmmakers want to give a message by making voilent films, then certain things they should think first is..Will the 'message' rub off on the audience or the 'negative ambience' will? Is the message worth risking the effect the negative ambience can have? What do I really want-only creative satisfaction or positive (and never negative) effect on the people around me?!

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Eclipse of the Soul

Does eclipse have an effect on us? Whenever there is an eclipse there is also a huge debate on this!
I wont comment on whether there is an effect of eclipse but I will admit that I do believe in truth to astrology (unlike most Christians), though.... I do not put my 'trust' in it rather I put my trust in the power of faith (like Christians) . Christian or not, one has to acknowledge the possibility of effect of heavenly bodies on life forms just like the moon has an effect on the sea (after all we are around 90% water!).
The Bible, as I know it, only implies not to put 'trust' in such things but rather have faith in God (as God is above all such things).It does not say that there is no truth in astrology, but rather asserts, that believing in its effects should not make us surrender to it, making no effort of will or faith to force a difference.

We are affected not only by heavenly phenomenon, but also by our genes, our hormones, our culture, environment and upbringing..So many factors!Knowing and acknowledging all the factors that effect the physical body does not mean to surrender to being slaves of it but to be empowered by the knowledge to recognize when our reactions or moods or circumstances may have been under an 'influence'. And so neither take credit nor slave it, rather we could use it for the best depending upon the context. (Also for those who change place a lot, knowing the birth signs of new people can help to connect more quickly and be better prepared on what could be expected and how to deal with it.)

Knowing and awareness of all influences on us can help us to decide to step out and think clear when the influences are negative- by the sheer power of the soul's free will as the soul cannot be effected by physical influences on the body.

Therefore being aware of the truth does not mean putting all faith in it or surrendering to it. Rather "the truth as always can set us free" ..in a way that the soul can step out from being eclipsed by the forces on the body.
When the influences are bad ..step out.. when the influences are good.. why not let the awareness be a little help? That is the proper use of knowledge, awareness and free will.

The Mighty Sun can be eclipsed surely but there never can be an eclipse of the Soul.. unless we forget this truth...

The cause and cure of homosexuality

In the newspaper supplement I noted recently that a gay person asked an expert a suggestion on a cure to homosexuality. The expert discouraged such a seeking for cure.
But if there is a willingness, an urge to come out of it, then there has to be a cure. Maybe in the cause there lies the cure..

My mind has been filling with a thought which may or may not be accurate but I feel compelled to write. It is an afterthought of my preceeding post on Men Women.
I believe that narcissistic love (self Love) may lead to disinterest in the opposite and magnification of the interest in the 'same'(in the weak and susceptible minds). What I mean is, it could in some cases be a malady of the mind. It is probably the reason why the Bible prohibits masturbation as well due to its focus on self and its possible effects on the mind and thoughts (although I feel masturbation has to be more acceptable than abusing another for ones needs!).

Those who are slaves to the body and the mind need to follow all the laws in the Bible to avoid being led by the waywardness of the mind. The Bible does not explicitly explain itself, probably because explanations can also become seeds to waywardness to weak and susceptible minds. It is also possible that instilling fear of punishment in those times must have been considered better help than explaining.

Animals I had thought do not have homosexuals and I believed that is because they are creatures of instinct; but a friend corrected me informing that 1500 species (fruit flies, lions and primates) exhibit homosexuality. He also wrote to me that most large animals that exhibit homosexuality live in groups and sex is used as a form of bonding mechanism and conflict resolution tool.

But still I would pursue the point that man with the superior mind sometimes follows more the mind than the instinct. With time and repeated attention to the wayward thoughts created by the idle mind, its dictates may be misread as instinct or sexual orientation. (Here I would like to stress that man being oriented towards living as a civilization, sometimes requires its people to put 'mind before instincts' and at other times "natural instinct before mind"...with the sole purpose of keeping the society civil and healthy and avoid unrest within the society).

I conclude therefore that if thought could be shifted away from self and sameness, heterosexual instincts could consequently resurface in atleast the cases where the homosexuality is brought about by abnormal situations like peer group indulgances for mere fun and for killing boredom..

But I am including here the informations from my friend Thriveen that requires to be noted before forming any definite opinions on the subject.

'Homosexuality was considered as a pathological mental illness in 19th and first part of 20th century, but empirical and scientific studies failed to produce a basis for regarding homosexuality as a disorder or abnormality. So American Psychiatric Association declassified homosexuality as a mental disorder in 1973 and American Psychological Association soon followed suit in 1975.

So it is not an abnormality similar to Down’s Syndrome but more of a rare physico-genetic trait such as left-handedness. It is estimated that 2-3% of human population is homosexual and they have minor genetic, prenatal/ embryological and neurological differences from others; though the biological basis of homosexuality is not foolproof. So sexual instincts may not be as inherent as we assume because 10% of all humans may be bisexual (capable of sexual relations with both gender) and 1% is asexual (incapable of sexual relations with any gender) without having any physical or mental abnormalities.'

Friday, July 17, 2009

men women

There are certain conclusions that I have drawn regarding men women and I am making the generalized observation in accordance with my perception of how the men women world is working. The understanding could be most useful when the two worlds meet.

Men have to a varying degree 'the sadistic instinct'probably provided by nature (could be the effect of testosterone which only biologists could confirm or find out)so as to become the agressor in procreation..to inflict pain if required to attain pleasure.

Women are made out to be more or less dreamers and self lovers again to varying degrees which possibly is also a hormonal effect..so that there is 'strutting' and seeking for appreciation though it might require or result in pain.

These nature endowed factors in both, though help in procreation are blocks in the spiritual search for true love. The 'body' thus may be obstructing the experience of true love.

These factors in men lead to love taking backseat and pleasure front seat even if it be often tinged with sadistic pleasure. In women these factors could lead to insecurities and jealousies taking precidence over unconditional love. Depending on the Yin Yang ratios, both men and women may have these blocks in the ratio of their own Yin Yang.

That is why physical love is shallow where the soul stands away as a mute spectator.The spirit needs to rise above these 'bodily' or physical blocks to unleash the experience of true love. Only when the two can come together out of spiritual love alongside the physical (or which generates the physical)..can the bonding be complete..awakening true love and true happiness in both the participants and enriching the spirit. In such a bonding the soul participates and only then do two really become one enriching each other in the meeting.

Friday, July 10, 2009


The article 377 has been amended and of course the hardcore christian will have some worries concerning this, particularly because the Bible has a negative stance about 'unnatural acts' . I agree that homosexuality is not in with the natural instincts. But lets say that it is one of nature's abberations. (But also it seems to be not a small population with the homosexual inclinations!)

Maybe I can clear my thought on this issue if I think on it a bit laterally.
If out of 10 kids a mother has one abnormal kid,(could be any thing..say mental retardation) would it be proper for the mother to expect that child to behave like the other 9 do? Abnormalities are a 'normal' phenomenon in nature. And the behavior that such a child shows is "natural". As long as the other nine are not affected in a negative manner, the abnormal child can and just has to be allowed to be his/her natural self, because it cannot be altered! And it cannot in any way be criminal to be born abnormal.

Thinking in parallel terms; sexual instincts are, I believe, inherent, and cannot be developed or influenced upon. As long as it is inherent, it is 'natural' though not 'normal' natural instinct.

P.S: Not criminalizing homosexuality means accepting it as an aberation rather than crime but allowing marriage would give a wrong message that homosexuality is a normal social behavior rather than an aberation. It is important not to celebrate an aberation of nature though we spare it any judgement specially because it could give the wrong message to influencable young minds.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Changing Love and Law

Pune Mirror, tuesday June 23 ran an article "Vow for Now!" which talked about newly weds ditching 'till death do us part' wedding vows with pledges 'as long as our love lasts'.
Having for most part been a conservative person I still cant help thinking that it is best if marriage does last even if love does change in many ways,.. but at the same time happiness too is important. If one is not happy with a relationship, it can pull down the whole family into unhappiness, for unhappiness only begets unhappiness. It would be better then to seek happiness, and if it becomes just impossible to be happy and maintain happiness in the family while staying in the marriage then it is probably only best to release the whole family from misery by ending the relationship.

Being a christian, it is tough to erase the black and white of issues and adopt the newage greys but I guess it is the colour of the times. I do think it would be better to take easier vows while hoping that the love lasts for ever than make big vows and become guilty of breaking them. Even a study of the Old testament of the Bible shows up a difference in terms of nuptial do's and dont's with the size and nature of the population or with the need of the times.

I personally feel that in the past few years there has been a very drastic change in terms of the social structure of much of urban India. If a seer had come in this new world then would have provided us with a new law of love and marriage. Since nothing like that has happened what do we refer to? We have to refer to the law being rewritten in the hearts of the whole of our community.

Born of an age of the hardcore dreamer, and religious idealists, I found it unexplainably traumatic to accept the rewriting in my heart. But now that I have accepted it,I am at peace. The heart is to be trusted above all else while looking for the TRUE and CURRENT answers floating in the Cosmic Space.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Running from pollution

I had thought there was no real pollution issues near around my peaceful home in kerala where I love to retreat to for sometime every year..., until I realized that paraquat(non selective, contact herbicide) was occasionally sprayed to control the weeds in our clean compound. I had assumed till then that the little that pushed up from beneath the gravel strewn over the mud were mostly hand weeded. Well, often hand weeded but not possible always, its true... I looked at the well in our compound.....Paraquat....., does have a bad enough half life(time taken for half of the chemical to decompose) which is at least more than a year.Hmm.. but has less mobility in soil so lesser chances of ground water pollution. There are only occasional rains in this season to push it down too much towards ground water and so degradation in the sun can be faster too. Not too bad then.
And..there is no place to run from pollution I guess...

Among all pesticides, I understand 'insecticide' exposure quite well enough, but I moved away from anything connected to Agri after graduation... but not really away from pollution as I soon realized. Env studies opened my eyes wider than I cared for. Can I now be happy that the vegs are free of worms, can I be pleased seeing a 'white' clean looking cauliflower? what sort of milk did I give my children. What of the packet milk my children are provided with... I used to look at the milk glass and wonder.. not some concoction of urea I hope. What sort of History does the water coming in the taps have? What combination of air have I been breathing in, each time, as I moved around over years in my country.
There is only one thing to do..Do the little, with the awareness, that I personally can do and stop worrying. because there is just not the option of running away from pollution and the possible effects. No point in worrying about what one has no control over.
Live peacefully without worry as long as we manage to live.. thats all there is to it

Saturday, May 16, 2009

being taken care of

Today in church, the priest asked the parents 'not to put children to sunday school when they are not yet of an age to understand the lessons. Parents put their kids when they are just in UKG thinking that by 9th standard they will be free of sunday school and can concentrate on board exams.' He asked not to think in that manner because 'isnt it God who will take care of our needs.'

I believe that last line with my whole heart because I know it beyond doubt to be true. Even when parents, relation or friends or spouse become the medium, I can recognize quite distinctly in the manner the needs are met, as to who actually the provider is.

The signs are all there..
-Even I was not aware I needed it.
-or there is a whole lot of events that take place on which nobody has control of in which few people come together and meet a requirement I had, that I personally didn't bother about.
--the way I or those responsible for me are led to make choices that bring to me something that I had thought was not for me.
-the way certain things I am led to do (sometimes wrong in the bookish sense) and in the process learn, are so clearly the very lessons that help me understand and manage the immediately following perplexing scenario!

I am sure everybody has had similar experiences.
At the same time I know how I enjoy giving to someone who is thrilled by even a small gift, or who cherishes it more. I feel like giving more to that person.And so I feel that a person who has a grateful heart that sees the value in the seeming little things; gets or maybe recognizes or remembers more of such 'being provided for' experiences.Whereas,a person who does not recognize even an immensely valuable gift as being so, looses it (or does not derive it's benefits in the fullest sense), and nobody but that person's ingratitude is responsible for the dearth in his/ her life.

The more a person loves or values a 'need met' as having been given by God, the more are all sort of such 'small and big' needs of the person found met with.

What sort of person has this- much required 'Gratitude'?;
I am compelled to believe that gratitude comes easy to a person who desires to do the will of God in all circumstances, even when there is not the surety of what the will of God is. Such a person, I am sure, by the mere power of the honesty of the desire,will end up making the right choices and thereby getting the 'right'things in life. Surrendering to the will of God even when the results are painful makes for a genuine person who is grateful about everything received from the hands of God;'whether joyous or painful'. And so everything received attains immense value and benefits pour in due to the value assigned.

That would also be what is meant in the verse 'Seek the kingdom of God first and all these things (that you desire/need) shall be yours.'

I think sometimes gifts come with a duration and trust that it is so because such a gift holds its value only within that duration.
The one who truly desires the will of God, I guess ought to accept willingly the pain of loosing it despite having cherished it; just as readily as was accepted the joy of having found it...

Friday, May 15, 2009


I felt, after I read what I first wrote on the topic 'money', that it seemed to hold a tiny hint of cynicism.I pondered for a whole day and so a day later I tried to minimize the cynicism in at least the afterthought that I had written regarding men in particular. The rest I kept unchanged and still hold on as true enough and useful as a 'lookout' (if not as a rule) despite the slight twang of cynicism.

Why I want to move away from developing cynicism is that a cynic would have to be a bit negative about self too because the cynic is not separate from the human race. And who would want to become so..negative as to be negative about self! Though the darkness of disapointment is sometimes too 'often', for the spark of faith in humanity to survive, there still comes the sudden flush of sincerety and love like the oxygen that saves the spark which does not wish to die out.

When I do get disappointed to the stage of cynicism I turn to my trust in the creator of the human race and decide Him to have been behind the whole 'play' of characters and circumstances; enacted to give all the participants the much required experience. I read recently that, 'Experience,at any cost is cheap'

So I accept my experience and am wiser by it.... And discard the side effects.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009


A Girl does not become a real woman without this experience. I am convinced about it, thinking on what I was before and what I am now in 5 years since 2004. I don't mean that just having delivered the baby would make a woman complete. Motherhood involves bringing them up; interacting, teaching, being there for them and in even letting them free. In doing all this motherhood brings in a great deal of power and authority in the woman, her attitude and in her speech. It brings in a great deal of different kinds of emotions ranging from immense love to utter wrath.Also the feeling of being responsible, as I feel of having 2 'little people' totally attached and depending on me. In time it seems to have unleashed also a kind of womanly confidence like never before. And all this is not a subtle change, rather it is a whole metamorphosis from a Girl to a Woman.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009


I do believe in fate. Even when people say 'we make our own fate', I wonder why we manage to make our own fate. There are stages in life when we know how to work to make 'the future' but confidence fails us (or sometimes we are led to believe that it must have been lacking). Then there are stages in our life when there is an upsurge of confidence that is fueled into us from someplace and somehow or we are pushed by circumstances to deeply desire a particular feature in our future and then it comes true! Then we are made to believe that we have built our future.

But what is it behind our fluctuating faith and confidence, about our very nature or even circumstances that powers our desires and what is it behind our faith (or lack of it) in self about being powerful enough to mould the future? and so when the desires manifest into reality, I blame 'that something' behind the scene. I still did not create my future.

Monday, May 11, 2009


I feel from experience that a persons attitude towards money speaks a lot about what that persons attitude in love and towards loved ones would be
1 A person who dislikes handling money usually dislikes handling relationships and probably frets too much over small issues
2 A person who is stingy about spending money over anyone but self, could be a person who cannot truly love anybody but self. In relationships the person may never be willing to accept a person in totality, but will allow or encourage only those aspects of the person that 'benefits' them.Such a person could show rejection if other aspects(unnecessary according to them) manifest
3 A person who is stingy even to spend on self, is a person who probably has or feels a dearth of love and affection in life in general
4 A person who spends without care probably fails to take any relationship to depth and just wastes energy in a whole lot of meaningless relationships
5 A person who wants others to spend for them despite being in possession of enough money, is usually a manipulator, who would manipulate the weakness of those who love them, so as to control them and have dominion over them.
6 A person who spends more on others than self, probably fears rejection and invests too much in others to keep from loosing their love.
7 A person who manages money well, saving as much as is necessary and spending on self and others depending on will, need, circumstance and propriety; usually is a tactful person and with good understanding of life and relationships and manages relationships well
8 A person who does not think of money, but only when it stands in front demanding to be used or invested,is usually a gentle soul probably capable of true love

As an after thought I want to add(despite the remote possibility of it being a prejudice) that men being inherently lovers of power and thereby money, may not hold the sort of love that women look for. I am reading romance novels currently and I find that only women authors are capable of creating the 'real' sort of lovers that are deficient(if not absent) in 'reality'.
Another thing is that there could be combinations of the above 8 types that could prove better or worse in relationships.Combinations can be of 2 or even more. 7-8 combination being probably best, 2-5 combination being the most difficult in relationship.

Friday, May 8, 2009


What prompts me to write about death is a recent discussion with a relation on this topic. I thought then of putting my feelings in my blog
The reason death is feared is that what lies beyond or even that there is a'beyond' is unknown, and the unknown brings fears. But what I feel is why fear the inevitable. nobody escapes it. If I have a beginning I have an end. If I am eternal I stay eternal. whichever of this is true is true and cannot be changed. either I end or I stay eternal. or the body ends and the spirit stays eternal. When the inevitable is not feared, at least the 'inbetween' or can i say 'limbo' is avoided.
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...