As I entered the college auditorium, there was an
extempore going on. The topic that a third year student was presenting was - friendship. He glanced at me as he started the topic. We could have become friends; I often had felt we were similar, but we never did. Neither of us took a strong initiative. Such a simple yet difficult to explain kind of topic that I wonder what I would have spoken?
A friend – brings to mind
someone who cares, who respects, who understands, who wants our company and
whose company we enjoy as well. Someone on whom we have no rights, who is a
separate individual but we come together to share some moments of togetherness.
It's years since initial college. What happens when we meet those friends from those college
times? I feel it like time travel. We travel
back to those times, those little moments shared together. The dancing on the
hostel bed and getting caught in the act by the warden. The trip to the lake with a friend a
day before an exam, a song someone sung loudly in the library; even the fun we shared in the
“introduction sessions”; the teasing, the laughs, the smiles. We suddenly realize how
little moments have in fact not been forgotten but were etched into the memory
to be brought out unexpectedly when we connect with the people from those
times. Connecting again to the fun, the excitement, the new kind of joys of college years that we traveled together.
That’s what friends hold. They often represent the
memories and the experiences, the lessons of the times. The advantage of friendship is that
it is neither a too close relationship nor a too distant one and so the mutual expression and
expectations are on a mean, neither too little nor too much. While close
relationships of family and love relationships have their own value, these may hold a lot of expectations and demands attached, that can in fact make for
each individual's burden! It is friendships again, that aid in carrying these burdens...of earning, of succeeding, of managing a home perfectly and efficiently and so on. Such
little comforts of sharing are what friendships provide.
Can you share ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING with your family? Since
family is so close, they are often affected by what we have to reveal. But
often there are friends we can share anything with, without causing them
discomfort or arousing any possessiveness or anger. In fact, a good friend can be a better
listener than even a counselor who hardly knows you.
Also, family may take us for granted. The closer we get, as
in a love relationship, the baggage of old relationship, personal issues, hidden
facets all are more and more expressed, and the result is that often close relations become more a challenge than a joy. Not that close
relationships cannot become a joy, but it is only possible when they have the right amount of friendship
factor added to it, that is, enough closeness and enough distance that prevents
the disease called “taking for granted”. In other words, it’s important to be friend first in
every relationship, remembering that no matter what the relationship, we can't own
anybody; it helps to truly care, no matter what is shared or expressed.
I read recently that in a study it was found that it
is not success, it is not relationships or even religion which
contributes most to the happiness quotient of any individual, rather it is true friendships. I could really agree to that! Friendship, a relationship with the right
amount of closeness and the right amount of distance is an equilibrium relationship
and so no doubt is incomparable.
There... I have finally spoken, on what I began considering years ago, listening to an extempore, on the incomparable relationship- friendship, and I am happy that today, I can finally say, I don't just hope to make friends with people I like, I do take the initiative to hold my hand out to those I appreciate, and today, I do have some GREAT friends!