As I entered the college auditorium, there was an extempore going on. The topic that a third year student was presenting was - friendship. He glanced at me as he started the topic. We could have become friends; I often had felt we were similar, but we never did. Neither of us took a strong initiative. Such a simple yet difficult to explain kind of topic that I wonder what I would have spoken?
A friend – brings to mind someone who cares, who respects, who understands, who wants our company and whose company we enjoy as well. Someone on whom we have no rights, who is a separate individual but we come together to share some moments of togetherness.
It's years since initial college. What happens when we meet those friends from those college times? I feel it like time travel. We travel back to those times, those little moments shared together. The dancing on the hostel bed and getting caught in the act by the warden. The trip to the lake with a friend a day before an exam, a song someone sung loudly in the library; even the fun we shared in the “introduction sessions”; the teasing, the laughs, the smiles. We suddenly realize how little moments have in fact not been forgotten but were etched into the memory to be brought out unexpectedly when we connect with the people from those times. Connecting again to the fun, the excitement, the new kind of joys of college years that we traveled together.
That’s what friends hold. They often represent the memories and the experiences, the lessons of the times. The advantage of friendship is that it is neither a too close relationship nor a too distant one and so the mutual expression and expectations are on a mean, neither too little nor too much. While close relationships of family and love relationships have their own value, these may hold a lot of expectations and demands attached, that can in fact make for each individual's burden! It is friendships again, that aid in carrying these burdens...of earning, of succeeding, of managing a home perfectly and efficiently and so on. Such little comforts of sharing are what friendships provide.
Can you share ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING with your family? Since family is so close, they are often affected by what we have to reveal. But often there are friends we can share anything with, without causing them discomfort or arousing any possessiveness or anger. In fact, a good friend can be a better listener than even a counselor who hardly knows you.
Also, family may take us for granted. The closer we get, as in a love relationship, the baggage of old relationship, personal issues, hidden facets all are more and more expressed, and the result is that often close relations become more a challenge than a joy. Not that close relationships cannot become a joy, but it is only possible when they have the right amount of friendship factor added to it, that is, enough closeness and enough distance that prevents the disease called “taking for granted”. In other words, it’s important to be friend first in every relationship, remembering that no matter what the relationship, we can't own anybody; it helps to truly care, no matter what is shared or expressed.
I read recently that in a study it was found that it is not success, it is not relationships or even religion which contributes most to the happiness quotient of any individual, rather it is true friendships. I could really agree to that! Friendship, a relationship with the right amount of closeness and the right amount of distance is an equilibrium relationship and so no doubt is incomparable.
There... I have finally spoken, on what I began considering years ago, listening to an extempore, on the incomparable relationship- friendship, and I am happy that today, I can finally say, I don't just hope to make friends with people I like, I do take the initiative to hold my hand out to those I appreciate, and today, I do have some GREAT friends!