CAREFUL!!...about that 'weak spot'

I recently cut my finger very badly on a piece of glass...., following which I would hit my finger again and again at the same spot. I am sure you also have noticed this in your life as well….The weak spot is under attack. I became very alert to this phenomenon. Initially, I thought I was just getting more aware, when actually I might be frequently hitting that spot in my finger otherwise as well owing to my general clumsiness. But I noticed it would get hit in very unpredictable and out-of-the-ordinary ways.

Why does that happen? The weak spot has to be protected with extra care, as there do seem to be some powers that seek for it.

'Elimination  of the weak'?  There do seem to be some energies that work on eliminating the unfit.  The weak deer of the pack is left behind and is caught. The shark is said to be able to smell even a drop of blood in the ocean and come for it. Somehow the weak spot does seem to have a vibe that brings to it the powers that attack on it and eliminate it. It is a blind power. But it can be surmounted. When the inner strength rises to the challenge, it can indeed subdue these forces.

Nobody can ride your back unless it is bent. You might say that you weren’t weak and yet you were dominated upon. Think carefully, you might not have noticed that weakness. Sometimes one's goodness can become a weakness…rather, one's  gullibility.  Have you noticed how the manipulative  people don’t even trust the most straightforward person, and how the good man trusts even the wilest one? It is trust that can be betrayed not mistrust.  This can be said of an individual, and it can be said about a nation.  India as a country is weak because of its tolerance. It's an easy going attitude towards many things that makes it the target of terror forces time and again.

One has to learn to see objectively, rather than see others as we see ourselves.  Innocence on its own is not always a virtue; one has to learn to be wise as a serpent even when innocent as a dove. One needs to learn toughness, hardness and decisiveness. When the eliminating energies begin to revolve around you, use its prodding to bring out the insurmountable power within you that is above all powers. Become more, and rise above your weakness. Then you would be fit enough to survive.

It is said that one's past life sins are responsible for the tragedies of the current life. I cannot believe that when I consider Abel who was the son of the first man Adam. He was murdered by his brother Cain. He was a victim of jealousy. His was obviously a first birth and his past life sins can definitely not be responsible! I had been looking up the regression session readings of some people. A farmer’s earlier birth had been of a chemistry professor. A poor girl's earlier birth had been of a preacher in church…It is then not always a progression to a better birth!!?? A sage in one mythological story was born in the next birth as a deer because he had got attached to a deer during his final years in the forest!!

It may not be just about desire and attachment though. Maybe the life of a chemistry teacher failed to teach somethings that the life of a farmer could? To get a clear idea of anything, we need to see life from different perspectives, we need to see life through different kinds of eyes. Death can only kill the body. Just as in a play, there is no real loss, but only lessons gained, buried in the spirit, which need to be tapped into and opened to reach our own fullness by gaining this complete view. Each life may show us a different aspect of a bigger truth; such as 'a different part of the elephant,' but if we stay blind we will not see the tail to be a part of something bigger.

With each episode in life, we are meant to open our eyes..wider...., and connect the links to get the whole picture. With each attack on us, we are meant to recognise our weak spots, and are supposed to eliminate them one by one until we are unconquerable.

...In Love and In War

Santosh Vichivara, the 19 year old who lost his life protesting eve teasing, and other guys like him;  this post is for you. I wish you would learn the art of self preservation while standing up for your causes. The world does not gain anything from losing people like you who can stand up for what is right no matter what the consequences. So you are doing us a favour when you also take care not to lose your life in the process. The young blood takes risks, the mature are cautious. I wish people could be more balanced whatever the age, taking risks indeed ... but with caution!

There were 30 to 35 people outside the gate of his housing complex where this incident took place. If  he knew at least 10 of the 35 in the crowd and convinced them to move in, as a faceless crowd against the five erring teenagers, maybe he would have protected the girl and preserved the fine specimen of a man that he was. Stealth, shrewdness, planning and foresight are essential in a war for justice, not just courage.

A friend once told me that in ancient India, an aspiring King was supposed to learn 64 arts; two of which were deceit and theft. I was surprised and so he asked me 'How would a king learn to recognize a thief, a treacherous person etc if he himself does not know the art of stealing, lying and cheating!" That hit home. The Wikipedia is not as colourful in its descriptions of the 64 arts but I would rather go with my personal 'encyclopedia'; that is, my friend's knowledge.. Indeed these are arts, and are important for even the eventual victory of good over evil!

 The ethics of war are different, even the Bible shows that very clearly. I want to take the example of the story of David. Saul was chosen by God  to be the king of Israel to bring peace by ruling justly. This message of God was conveyed to him by Samuel. But later Saul changed and was more and more unwilling to listen to  God's orders (given through Samuel ) and began to do his own wish. So God chose David as the next king. Samuel was again supposed to give this message to Jesse’s son (David) but Samuel expressed to God his fear of being killed by Saul for this act. To this God told him “Don’t worry, Saul doesn't have to know. Give a feast in Bethlehem and invite all Jesse’s family to come” Stealth was employed by Samuel in carrying out what was required; for his 'self preservation'! 

 David murdered Goliath and the whole world applauds that feat. Obviously murder was the right thing here as it was for eventual good. Killing enemies was the right thing to do in a battle (love your enemies?) David made an enemy in King Saul and his life was forever in threat and he had to even live as an outlaw. He had to think where he would be safe. There were occasions when his hiding place was surrounded and he was on the verge of being killed, but he escaped. He lived many weary years of hiding from the king. During this time, he went on raiding expeditions (looting?!)with Philistines (who were enemies of his land Israel, and so he had to ‘pretend” to be an enemy of Israel). If he had not 'cheated' them in this manner he would have lost his life and Israel would have lost its future king.

Those were different times, the era of kings and the rules were different, but  have the rules of war really changed? Indeed they haven't. Even for our individual battles, we often have to employ all our wits and all forms of arts. Dire circumstances almost invariably call for dire measures!

Now I want to move to another aspect of this story. From the time Samuel whispered in David’s ears (at the feast) that he is going to be the king, his life changed, from a carefree live, enjoying all the joys of the natural world as a shepherd, to that of fear for his own life. God had promised David that he would be king, but there were so many tribulations before that really happened! Although he lived a life of fear of being murdered, all this tribulation would have prepared him, strengthened him to be a strong and wise  king.   I was reading a book “Urantia” that had episodes of how Jesus managed the issues in his family, as a kind of father to his brothers. It dealt with many difficult times of  his life before he had to face the ultimate difficulty of 'knowingly and bravely' moving towards his torturous death. Life is not about just the end result. It is the whole journey of strengthening, of slowly and steadily becoming stronger and stronger; enough to handle the responsibilities like of being a king, or of being a sacrificial lamb.  

 It's God's love for us that makes him allow miseries in our life so that we could refine all our skills and also be able to think and take sound decisions. He just doesn't seem to bat an eyelid as we wail our lungs out, because he knows we can survive the misery and grow in strength if we use all our latent capacities. The one who sees every trouble as an opportunity to grow gains from everything and the one who blames and is angry with life loses the opportunity for personal growth and lives in constant misery and anger. Troubles are like falling into deep waters. The one who trusts would 'let go' and so float over the waters, the one who doesn't, and fears or resists the waters, drowns. We can forgive God for allowing misery in our life if we can trust him, if we realize that to God ‘all is fair in His love for us’.

                                          

What a person is dealt with is part of life, it could be through  one or another’s hands or maybe through their own mistakes, but what they do to get over problems or rise above the situation is up to them. In this growth process, we are allowed to make mistakes because we learn from them and grow more in wisdom. In fighting the battles in life we may do things we wouldn't in normal situation. David too did not always feel right; he often felt unworthy when God helped him and was kind to him (Interestingly, he never questioned God for the misery that he was put through!) Our body, our life, relationships, and all forms of arts are never mastered without some mistakes during the learning process. We may commit  errors  of judgement, mistakes, or may even take dire measures as we learn the best ways of winning a battle for the  eventual victory of good, for winning a life that promises both worldly joys and heavenly happiness. We can forgive ourselves and so would God, because... all is fair in the 'Just' War. 

Indeed when the purpose is 'ultimate good', all things do seem fair; be it in Love or be it War! Not just 'fair', but perhaps 'imperative'. Only if a good man can protect himself while saving another, would he be able to inspire others to similarly stand up for a good cause.

The Black Swan Dance

I watched the movie Black Swan a second time recently. A powerful movie of passion for dance, that didn’t fail to move my spirit as forcefully as it did the first time that I watched it.

It is the movie about a ballerina consumed with dance, who has to depict the coveted role of the innocent white swan and also its twin the guileful black swan. But she had the frigidity, a reserve in her dance that comes due to innocence and an unlived life. It made her perfect as the white swan but it prevented her from letting herself go, while portraying the sensuous black swan.

The words from her director asking her to ‘live a little’, to lose her frigidity and free herself; the incidents and competition in her life, all blow air on the dark side in her and ignite it to full flame. The result is that black takes over like a whirlwind and she dances the black swan dance in full fire and wins the audience

…but she loses herself, her life, to the act.

Her own desire to keep the role and end the one competition, her intention to meet the requirements for the role as hinted by her director; act as seeds that grow in her, that push her in a direction she was too inhibited to go in reality..and so she goes all that way in her mind. She moves swiftly from the sweet girl to the dark one, who in her stressed and twisted mind has ‘been there, done that'; murdering none else but her own self.

Are we the light or the dark or both? It is true that often in life, in order to leave our frigidity, to let go of our inhibitions, to become more at ease, we have to explore our dark side, we have to live a little; but the challenge is to not to be swept away by it and keep the balance. In life, when the dark winds blow like an unending storm we have to realize that it is the signal to stop resisting and go with the flow of life. Like a tree we have to bend in the incessant wind and not be too stiff, to avoid being broken!

Exploring the dark side is like climbing on a roller skate. If we keep the balance we can have a swifter, more graceful movement but we have to remember that the roller skate without awareness and balance can topple us over any time. The dark side is like a roller that can take over like a whirlwind and destroy all that was safely there as we walked on two feet. And so it needs a lot of control and has to be used with utmost care as we master it, and become fully aware.

The light with all its splendor and clarity, is indeed the real us, while the dark power is the tool, the roller skate, to be used carefully, a tool that when used with control can help live life with more freedom. Then as a swan we can dance sensuously with freedom and still be full of light...; be the White Swan doing... the Black Swan dance....

Paradise----Heaven on Earth

Man is said to be made in the image of the Cosmic Purusha (Cosmic Man). There are said to be seven Lokas or worlds and man therefore is made similarly with seven chakras.

Chakras are pools of energy in our bodies which govern our qualities. There are said to be seven main chakras in all; four in our upper body ( the crown chakra(sahastra), the third eye chakra, The throat chakra, the heart chakra), which govern our mind (yang); and three in the lower body (the solar plexus chakra, the sacral chakra, the root chakra) which govern our instincts (yin).

Kundalini energy is the Goddess, Earth, Mother, Shakti, the universal yin or Earth Chi within all of us. This energy is drawn up through the feet and through the lower chakras.

It awaits the Union with God, Spirit, Father, Shiva, universal Yang or Heaven Chi which collects in the body through the Crown chakra (sahasra) located at the center of the top of the head. This point through which Heaven chi enters the body, is the place of transcendent consciousness or true Self.

When the dark negative force called kundalini or yin is taken to the Sahasra and when it is united with the light, the positive, the yang, the seeker attains the perfect stillness or samadhi. This union of energies when maintained in equilibrium can bring in man the qualities of equanimity and unconditional love.

This concept is not different from Christian beliefs. In Christianity the Christ is said to be the head and the world is the body, his bride.The new testament asserts that "we are many parts of one body". We are the bride awaiting the union with our bridegroom the Christ! All concepts are intertwined and in fact are one in spirit. How have different people, cultures and different religions spoken in different words about the same phenomenon? Obviously, where science cannot go, the opened heart goes, and it can be trusted to have come back with the right answers! That is how all people spread apart speak the same thing.

It can be seen that the relation of the human head and body is in similarity to the relation between God and creation.The microcosm is evidently in the image of the Macrocosm.

The undivided infinite Brahma on the other hand is pure consciousness. Creation happens when the undivided separates into a polarity of yin yang, positive negative, night day, light dark. And so creation is not possible without this division or conflict. That is why all life form feels this double pull, this conflict which separates us from our true undivided identity.

The yin in our body pulls down towards the earth and the yang energy in our body moves upwards. When these oppositly spiraling forces converge, unite in an individual, he is able to escape this polarity more and more through inward focus.

The yang and the yin energies spiral in the body in concentric circles and the converging of these opposite spirals at the central point can be represented as infinity. Infinity represents equilibrium or unity, the balance between male and female forces.The union is experienced and described as a feeling of bliss. Being a dynamic equilibrium, this union or infinity needs to be repeatedly balanced by awareness (Infinity though is the ultimate destination,is in flux and so is required to be kept in balance by awareness).

When this union happens we are more aware of the pure consciousness within the very centre of these converging spirals. When we focus into this pure consciousness, bring awareness to the very centre of the spiral, the point of infinity; the pairs of opposites vanishes completely which is felt as a stillness. When we seek answers in this state, the answers are reflected on our mind just as as the moon is reflected clearly in still waters. The stiller the mind, the more centered; the clearer the picture.


Though the yang is centred in the head and the yin in the body, yet if any chakras are not open the other chakras can compensate. For example though the right and left brains have different functions still when the right brain is damaged in some accident it has been noted that the left can take over many of its functions and vice versa. Similarly when lower chakras are blocked, the chakras in head can compensate for yin as well. That is each incomplete unit can be complete too!

In fact everything in the universe is such that each microcosm can be the image of the whole macrocosm. This means that the macrocosm called heaven is not merely the destination, it can be there in each microcosm called a human maintained in a fluctuating equilibrium, quite like how the whole of universe is!

Ideally, from the smallest unit to the biggest everything should become complete, and each microcosm has to be united to the macrocosm.

What happens when there is imbalance of energy? Shiva is yang, or can be called masculine energy and shakti is yin or feminine energy. Either energy on its own in the individual has its issues. The yin alone can make a man addicted to the lusts of the world, aids in developing manipulating capacities born out of self interests; whereas the yang alone can make a man too straightforward to survive in the world, also leads to intolerance to any kind of evils and a quite unforgiving nature. These imbalances in nature, happens when some chakras are blocked.

What causes the blocks in the yin or yang chakras? Yin is often blocked in overly religious people and yang is blocked in overly worldy people. Religion often leads to non acceptance of the world, ones sexuality etc and can lead to blocking of the lower chakras but as stated, the fall side is that it can make man unforgiving because of a denying of the worldly aspects like sex and self interest. On the other hand the lack of religious fear can make a man give in totally to the world and inturn blocks the upper chakras. It can make a man very adept at meeting selfish wishes by the use of manipulation, but with total lack of justice, and conscience.

Uniting of the forces leads to balance of divine strength with the powers of the world. With time and practice opening of the lower chakras in a person with an already opened yang, leads to tolerance, forgiveness, unconditional love and worldly tact as well. Whereas opening of the upper chakras in a person with higher yin, helps in reducing addictions, slavery to lusts, increases empathy, justice and fairness.

But this united energy is again a tool in our hands.The balance between Yin and Yang as stated before is dynamic, that is it is constantly changing. How do we balance it? We can consciously balance it by balancing our external focuses; by not getting too dragged into any one aspect of life.

That is if we find ourselves focused on instincts, we have to balance it with intellectual activites That is when a yin center is newly opened there might be an increased focus on worldly things which needs to be consciously balanced with the yang.

In fact we can understand which energy we have yet to open in us or use optimally, by analyzing either ourselves or our circumstances. Life's circumstances compliment our internal state. Our circumstances are the aids to any unopened or underused chakra. All things pass and so if we stand through the toughest circumstance without breaking, and focus on solutions, then it in turn can strengthen us.

In other words; when we are pulled down by difficulties, our inner resources can be pulled up. It can not only unlock the unopened centres of strength in us but also serve as opportunities to work with our newly opened energies and develop holistically. In a way we do create our circumstances and we can change our circumstance by changing from within towards balance. The more balanced we are the easier it is to maintain equanimity in all circumstances.


We know the Lord's prayer that Jesus gave us in which we implore to God saying “Your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven”! God always intended earth to be a paradise! God intended each individual to be perfect and whole like Him and when we surrender to his will, he pushes us towards the perfection he wants in us slowly and surely!

We lost our paradise through disobedience, by giving in to the lower pulls and closing the upper pull when in fact we were intended to be balanced. Naturally the lower pull can be stronger and more overpowering and therefore the codes of conduct, the fear of God and hence obedience is required to maintain a balance of energies. Giving in forever to lower energies is the real hell a man creates for himself, which he realizes eventually but feels too trapped and addicted to get out of.

God intended earth and man to be like heaven which is only possible through obedience to the laws written in our hearts. Despite being conflicted in every moment, awareness of what is within and without can help us live each moment in a balanced union of the forces. These powers help the spirit to transcend the current level/plane of existence and be born fully into the spiritual realm while still living the earthly existence. All religions have given us codes of conduct which can replicate heaven on earth, God in man; but internal change and realization of this unity is required for human kind to bring about this heaven within and on earth.

It is in our power to make life and earth a pleasant journey, a heaven every moment and not merely a hell road to a destination called heaven. If that was not God's will as well then there would not have arrived incarnations or avatars to teach us ways to bring about the heaven on earth, to bring about equilibrium whenever there is too much of disequilibrium in the world energies. There would not have been a Jesus telling us “Do not let your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid”John 14:27.

We are not here on earth to live a deteriorated conflicted existence rather we are intended to overcome the world and be transformed into heavens within our beings.
“Neither shall they say, Lo here! or, lo there! for, behold, the kingdom of God is within you.” (Luke 17:21)

Receiving and Giving ... Criticism!

I, a Virgo by sun sign, know that it is easier to give criticism than to listen to a criticism! To my defense I would say as is said for Virgos, that it is not because we deny our faults (if we do see it! ) but because we already have our own finger so painfully poking at our worst faults that we can’t bear another finger on it.

So let me start with what is more difficult; Receiving Criticism. Accepting that there is a need to change is what is required and is half the battle won. My biggest challenge has been my occasional but volcanic temper (allow me to blame it on paternal inheritance) I saw and accepted it as my biggest fault. I am usually soft and loving but occasionally I am capable of erupting like a volcano, and then the lava becomes beyond my control and it has to exhaust itself. After that blind hour,it’s the huge mess left to clear, the burnt hurt feelings that are piercingly visible after the destruction, that leave me with a lot to reconstruct and a lot to be regretful for long, which brought in again and again a desire to change.

But as long as people still understood, loved and accepted me, I only 'struggled' to control my burst outs quite ‘unsuccessfully’. Some friends would joke on it (when they saw me read book on Anger Management), or call it “Full Power time” (when blinded to “Who” I blew out at). It was only when I was rejected for my temper that I put 'my all' to ‘managing temper' and realized that I could indeed overcome my insurmountable weakness. Managing did not mean I stopped being a critic or that I never lost my temper but it meant I took care to notice the building steam and accepted it to myself and so removed it before it became volcanic and more destructive than intended. That is, I learnt to notice and pour out my emotions at a level where I could manage it calmly, rather than ignoring it till it burst out; shocking me and others.

But in that process I learnt that sometimes rejection can be the greatest incentive to change and that we can even keep ‘rejection’ as a tool in our kitty to use in rare instances (for a short while only of course) where acceptance may have been the spoiler!

Rejection added to criticism is difficult to bear but there are a few things that experience taught me that minimized the sting I feel while at the receiving end of ‘due or undue’ criticism.

1. We can bear to listen to all types of criticism, if …..we don’t have a perfectionistic expectation from ourselves. That is if we can first accept ourselves as we are, and then accept others as they are (not expecting them to know how to criticize constructively)! Once we accept, we don’t feel (and cannot be made to feel) worthless for our faults.

2. We need to accept that perfection is impossible; quite plainly because what is perfect for one maybe imperfect for another! This does not mean we cannot or need not strive to reach our idea of perfection; but rather it means to realize that as individuals we have our limitations of the areas we can achieve perfection in. That is to say, we cannot meet every ones subjective ideas of perfection! (Well, even thinking that is exhausting!) What is important then is sincerity in all we undertake. We can only strive to do our best in whatever is a requirement.

3. We have to realize that perfection can never be a requisite for acceptance. In fact it is the little imperfections that set one apart from another and only a person who is incapable of truly loving, would demand perfection. We often fall in love with a particular character that either compliments who we are or is very like us, or is very like someone in our family and so has a comfort factor. Love is easier to understand if we remember that we develop a love for animals as well! I love dogs, I love cats! What does that mean? It means there is a particular character that we may be drawn to. Strength? You probably love Elephants. Loyalty? You love Dogs. Beauty? The cat family maybe. Energy? Squirell the cute busy body!. On the other hand if it is Smartness? You love intelligent Humans. Goodness? You love empathy in Humans. Perfection? Sadly you can only love God. Because like God, we can only imagine perfection!

But it is true that ‘good’ people are more often looked out for ,as partners. A friend recently told me about how people helped each other selflessly when the earthquake (plus tsunami and nuclear) disaster happened in Japan in March 2011 and wondered if the “civility” was as a result of their high average IQ as compared to other countries or it was their strict adherence to civil attitudes that resulted in comparatively higher IQ in them. (i.e whether “being good” was the cause or the effect of High IQ)

I realized then, why “goodness” is so attractive! Wasn’t civilisation itself the result of superior brain power in man as compared to animals! We instinctively look for the more civil the more “good”.
But it is quite observable that highly intelligent (smart) people can also be highly aggressive and selfish, not very capable of handling emotions and caring for others. So surely High Emotional Quotient (EQ) rather than High Intelligence Quotient (IQ)could be the cause of being a “good” samaritan.
And I also believe EQ can be both the cause and effect of Goodness. That “becoming civil or good” can also result in increasing the EQ. Of course all this is speculation with no tangible proof, but what I am leading to is that ‘a critic is a friend, who can help us develop our emotional quotient.’

What's the benefit of 'the Goodness'!? “Being good” takes us to a higher plane of existence. Personally it can expand our aura to the seventh level. Socially it can take us to a perfectly civil and good world. But from there where?

The whole universe is said to work on the principle of Giving and Receiving,and I really believe that it is indeed the one basic principle! I imagine the play of the universe like a game with many levels(compare with a computer game). Life on Earth is one of the levels with seven levels (or heavens) above (just as we exist in several planes as well). There are many lessons to be learnt on this earth that help to perfect our game plan and escape to the next level. What's the use of winning this game? Each level leads us closer to perfect Bliss! We can expand to the seventh level from the first level. That's about all we can know, but once in the game we just have to play it to the end. There is simply no meaning of getting bored or tired with the game; no meaning to quitting!

Everything we do, all we journey with or meet along our journey are just mutual helpers in the learning. No man can grow much as an island. We all need each other. Whatever lessons our subconscious has been wanting to learn, another may be more equipped to provide us with and so they are the ones we meet in the journey. We may push them away but they stay or keep coming back into our lives till they deliver their lesson; on the other hand after having learnt a lesson, no matter how we try to hold on to someone, they are out of our lives, or become passive in our lives!


I heard somewhere that “those who come into our lives are like postmen who have come to deliver our mail’. We have to respect them as that even if it is a criticism they delivered. True, whatever the content delivered, how can a postman be blamed! We might at worst kill the postman, but in another time or in another lifetime another postman will come to deliver the same message until we learn it. It is always better to take it the first time around.
How? I once asked a friend how he is able to listen so attentively to a particular “boring teacher”. He said, “We only learn as much as we respect another” That was one valuable lesson! Indeed, the lesser our ego and feelings of superiority, the more the lessons we can learn from the other to guide our conduct in life that in turn earns us the higher plane of existence.

Now there can be times when we may have to serve as the postman and deliver a post no matter what; to do the role of delivering criticism! And that brings me to the sermon this Sunday. The topic was that we all have a purpose although we may not fully understand what it is. Some main points were- All of us are in a way prophets and priests; the names we have are god given names which point to our purpose and so we should search the meaning of our names. He further said that the prophet’s duty is of speaking the truth, whether he is listened to or not and no matter that speaking the truth always has severe consequences. John the Baptist (meaning of John is God is Gracious) was beheaded when he spoke the truth. That's often the price of speaking the truth. The priest continued saying that Prophets are also very human, they had their failings and weaknesses that they had to struggle with. St. Paul asked God three times to remove a particular weakness but it did not happen. When he realized he had to live with that weakness he said, "For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Corinthians 12:10).The Priest explained it to mean that in our weakness, we rely entirely on the strength of God.

We all have our failings that we struggle with and which come in the way of our purposes. Sometimes our purpose is delivering a post against our weakness, say a weakness for love (I am definitely not going to be loved for this “dirty Job”of criticising!), despite lack of trust in its usefulness (it’s only going to spoil it for me and do them no good either!), despite fear of the consequences (wonder where I will end this time!). Indeed, when we do a deed because it has to be done in spite of all our weaknesses pulling us down, that is when we would have shown strength!

I have known that bitter truth, no matter how lovingly, tactfully and calmly presented will not fully lose its bitterness and bite and hence possibilities of a kick back! But then I also know that a critic, a teacher can only extend his hand full of the wealth of wisdom; whether the lesson is taken from the hand or whether the hand is spit upon depends entirely on the student; depending on whether the student can recognize it as wealth or only see it as filth.

I am reminded of something Jesus had said: 'No servant is greater than his master.' If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also. If they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yours also.’ John 15;20. It is really ignorance to be bothered about the result when we have to be the postman, because our first allegiance is towards our creator who assigns us a job and only after that to our own analytical mind that can never fully comprehend God’s ways. It is also ignorance to be bothered when we are ‘shown our place’ because how we are treated tells “not where we stand but rather where the receiver stands in terms of spiritual development”. No matter if we are not listened to, are insulted, rejected, hurt or even killed, we have to remember that there are no purposes in life greater than delivering what has been assigned (when it is our turn to deliver) and receiving as meekly as is possible for us (when it is our turn to receive).

The Drifter's Direction

I have known people, who have been quite sure of what they wanted to do in life and even arrived where they knew they wanted to be. I have admired their clarity. I, on the other hand have been a drifter, never sure what I wanted to do or be in life and as I drifted from one course to another considered one job or another, I was not arriving anywhere, rather I was forever eliminating what I didn't want!

Definitely not medicine or engineering, too much study involved, try agriculture maybe. Nope, agriculture as a subject was proving too memory based for me; bailed out from the field after graduating into Environment Science, hoping I might find something interesting to do in that sphere.

Non Governmental Organisations seemed interesting but they worked where I couldn’t communicate my cosmopolitan mindset. Education field could provide an opportunity to communicate? Yeah this seems right for me and yet there were lot of other works, and interferences involved which edged out the freedom and hence efficiency of the communication.

I am sure I do not seem very practical? After all, any job will have one or the other uninteresting aspect to it! Why wouldn't I adjust, why was I only always eliminating what I did not want to do? Yeah it is true I did not need a job for a living, I needed it rather to express my being...

And finally by a twist of circumstances and unrelated happenings, through those very, seemingly wrong choices and the people and institutions I came across as a result of those choices, I arrived at the job I found just right for me. Preparing a course material for college in my subject Environmental Science. In this work, there was to be clearly thought out written communication, there was freedom to express more or less the way I wanted to, and that too in a subject I had passion for. Just an over one year work, but it brought me the satisfaction I had been looking for all my life. I realized then, that we all have an internal compass and one way of arriving at what we want is through a process of eliminating what we don’t want!

And even as I journeyed through the process of preparing the material, there were intriguing coincidences. Whichever topic I was working on,seemed to be the topic the world was working on during the same time frame.

When I was writing about nuclear hazards, the Fukushima nuclear disaster in Japan happened and I added an additional reading and perspective on it.
When I was writing on capitalism affecting food distribution, highly priced tomatoes were being abandoned by farmers on the roads of Jharkhand because middlemen wouldn’t pay them even the production cost, leave alone transportation cost.

Whatever topic my mind was filled with were the topics my eyes fell upon wherever I looked, newspapers, books, magazines, even facebook! It was as if the topics were travelling to me. In that period it was as if the universe had been helping me, not only in collecting and perfecting the content, but even strangely in meeting deadlines; as if I had been destined to do this Job in this time frame.

What I could conclude is exactly what Paulo Cohelo says in Alchemist, “There are no coincidences”. When we, our very core, wants something, however unsure we are about what it is, all things work together to bring it to us, be it through a process of elimination. And so however winding, long or tormentous our road may seem, we are never drifting; rather we are always going where we are meant to go.

Silence Speaks...

My daughter showed me today a picture she had drawn, which she explained was of a person throwing trash which instead of falling in the dustbin falls on Supandi's head!

Well not going into the logic of how that could have happened, let us be reminded that in fact it happens often in life! Our baggage of raw emotions which should go into trash falls on somebody's head! We have every right to our emotions but our emotions are actually 'our problem' that we have to learn to deal with. Often we have to ask ourselves, is it the other person hurting me or am I hurting myself? When it could be our own assumptions hurting us, opening up our emotions is as good as throwing trash where it shouldn't be thrown. Jesus said "You judge according to the flesh. I Judge no one"(though he judged both in body and spirit and his judgements were correct)We judge according to what we are and rarely according to what our spirit our total self reveals to us, therefore we must be aware that we can be more often wrong than right in our judgements.

Where things have to be spoken, definitely we should speak but any abuse included in it is yet again trash. Correcting is love but abusing is a desire to hurt which is not love. It does happen sometimes as we are all human and prone to wanting to hurt in return for real or assumed hurt but to recognize it as a mistake and apologizing is important because each person is a temple of god and a temple is not the place to throw trash in. So much better to keep silent giving the benefit of doubt and let time reveal the truth. Every idle word is judged by God so we should use our words with prudence.

But then if we cant show or speak all our emotions, how do we manage it or find a solution to our problems? What works for me is writing it down, in other words opening up all the emotions in a space where I am not judged, where I can be free to be myself. To some it could be a friend or a spouse. Here we have to sort out the good from the bad, the right from the wrong, the assumed from the real. This process automatically can exhume the bad and the good can be extracted. It gives us the time to quiet our emotions and in the process we also begin to understand the situation from all perspectives. "The quieter we are, the more we are able to hear" Zen. It gives us the clarity to deal with our situation. It helps us decide whether we should be silent or should speak up.

Now it is important to know that it is not always speech that can clear problems. We should recognize that there is a power in silence that puts good the adage "Speech is silver, silence is golden."

Silence speaks in ways that speech cannot. It often holds much more of meaning than words do and can hold more power than speech. It may say I have an opinion and prod the other to probe the possibilities of that opinion and take what it needs to correct itself without us having said a word. "In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends." Martin Luther King Jr. In being silent we not only show respect that the other is not a dustbin for our thoughtless words at that time, but also allow the other to understand our silence if they do care to know our mind. We leave the choice to them.

Your silence can say, I don't care to be a people pleaser, I don't care how my speech or silence can effect you or your opinion of me.“It is great wisdom to know how to be silent and to look at neither the remarks, nor the deeds, nor the lives of others.” St. John of the Cross. Silence here tells people about you that; good or bad, you are comfortable with yourself and are not affected by anybody's opinion.

Your silence can say that I don't want to prove any point. I don't care what opinion you form or that I don't want to be proved correct, I am self assured. It gives weight to the fact that you believe you are right.

Or we turn silent where we know speech does not help. It reminds me of a bible passage in which Jesus says that "You do not believe me because I speak the truth"(While you believe all the liers). This happens often in life. People may like lies or like people who praise them to get benefits from them. Or they may know the truth but prefer the lies. In such situations often it is better not to waste energy speaking. Your silence here would have said, If you dont want the truth, I dont care to say it. Here your silence may either let the other take the meaning in it as whatever they want to believe for their own good or if truth was different and still bearable to the other, silence would also have said the truth without a spoken word

We also have to recognize the situations in which we have to choose silence even when it may lead us to be misunderstood or look like the wrong one; going against our natural impulses to point out the right when things are wrong. Because it is also wisdom to know where not to make our wisdom evident. Here it may often require to wisely give up our ego but giving up the ego for the larger good turns out a good bargain eventually.

Finally 'Silence' should be out of choice.That is, where we recognize that we have to speak, we should. It is very rightly said that Wisdom is in knowing when to speak your mind and when to mind your speech...


"Confidence Counts" is a guest post by me for the blog "Whatever it Takes" that deals with an ingredient that can make the wrong- right and allows the right to be-right. It is the power behind powers.

Power of Circumstances

I had scorned even the thought of reading the autobiography of Adolf Hitler. Why would I want to read the mind of a murderer! But since yesterday I am thinking of reading it.

Yesterday I happened to switch on the TV to a movie which held my interest. It happened to be based on the happenings in Adolf Hitler's life that gave him the major and final push into politics. It seems that Hitler actually wanted to make his carrier as an artist, and politics was just a fall back plan for him! His dreams to be a recognized artist were destroyed once and for all; his final attempt was squashed (by those who noticed his oratory skills that could mesmerize people, and wanted to use it for their political interests). That is how the movie ends.

Just Imagine how history is made! Men, who understandably need career and success in life are often forced by this very basic need to walk in a particular direction and path which is fenced on both sides by firmly closed doors!! And that makes for 'His Story' in many possible ways- the good, the bad, the unimaginable.

A month back I had read 'Devil in Pinstripes' by Ravi Subramanium and had arrived at a similar conclusion. The innocent ,clean hero of the book eventually turns out to be capable of being as much a devil as the two in his company whom he loathed. Carrier, need for success and growth, professional rivalry, all this throws up situations where profit and self interest thwart away every moral consideration.

We may learn our values very well, ingrain it firmly as a part of our very self, but ...circumstances...,they have an undefyable force of their own that can push away the firmest of values like paper cards. A power that could make 'any' man do or be what had been once unimaginable. So it is not really wise to think we are clean and good people, when we have had no 'fenced paths' in our life. To have walked the wrong path or the possibility to walk the wrong path is also therefore not impossible in any person's life. But to have the will to break the fence and the emotional power to push to the right but difficult path against the power called circumstances,..... that is what in fact actually requires all the substance and all the spirit in Man.

GOD-Parts or a whole..?

My third flight was a miracle. I took a pill for nausea but there is no pill for panic! But fortunately for me the third seat which was for my baby was not alongside mine and so a pastor was seated there. He had just been moved and so I chose not to shuttle him back and put my baby on my lap. I told him of my previous bad flight experiences and he helped distract me by talking on spiritual things. His efforts worked!

I really felt that when inner resources fail, God still helps by giving an external aid. The pastor with his steady eyes and calm demeanor, held my attention when it began wavering by the movements. It is true that God is in us but sometimes we need the God in others.

We talked about my manuscript on answers for skeptics in religion for which I could not finding a publisher. He told me that maybe my book isn't ready and that I should consider if there is anything to be added to it. When I reached home, my sis in law had a book waiting for me, 'Christ in Ancient Indian Thought' by Dr. Koshy Abraham(she seems to supply me with resources, regarding books this was the second book she provided, the earlier one was also at another opportune moment!).

Though I parted with the book before reading it from the biginning, I did manage to start and read till the second chapter and one line in the second chapter struck me, 'Parmatma...has a spiritual congregation for consultation'. This line from the book took me to a disconnected stream of thought linked to a query I had long back on the reality of sidhi. SIDHI- is a hindi term and means gaining mastery over one of certain powers of God and using it. In right hands it can benefit, in wrong hands it can harm. It was confusing then as it implied that God is not an individual power and his different powers can be tapped without his will. I couldn't understand it then, but I can understand it now comparing with the example of how Jesus turned around and asked, 'who touched my cloak' There were many who had touched but only one had drawn from his power and got well. It therefore does seem possible to draw from the powers of God but only a pious soul is worthy of gaining this knowledge of mastering some powers, the knowledge of which I have heard is provided in Atharva Veda . Just like stealing a cable connection, it is possible to steal the power without paying by a pious life. That is when this tantric vidya can be misused being in unworthy hands. That thought process spurred by a line in the book cleared my confusion of how a good power can end up in bad hands and how it could be possible that individual powers can be tapped. The statement in the mentioned book -that God has a spiritual congregation for consultation, meant -the father son and holy spirit I guess, but I have read into it a deviant or deeper meaning. Come to think of it, quite like our country India which has many states with individual administration but the whole Indian peninsula is not really divided by any real barriers to distinguish the different states; God is One with many powers which are part of a whole, and yet each part, each power can be very distinct...

The 'PIE' ('Pulling-In' Effect) of Thoughts

Around two- three weeks back I was looking up books in a bookstore when suddenly I remembered that there was a book I was meaning to read but couldn’t remember what the book was. It was time to go to the evening mass and about then I remembered that it was the book ‘The Kite Runner’ that I had been wanting to get an idea of before deciding to read it. Surprisingly enough a few days after this incident the book did arrive in my house with my cousin but I got busy doing my art of living class, blogged about it on 19th, and then two days later I found some free time to go through the book. I managed to rush through it before my cousin left the next day. But I was wonder struck. Wasn’t this book about ‘regret’ and how it courses some of our future decisions! Wasn’t this book in line with what I had blogged two days before on 19th about how negative can lead to positive! The kite had landed in my home and evidently I must have been pulling it in! This is my umpteenth of such experiences. Another of such experience in the recent past is of the famous book ‘The Alchemist’ by Paulo Cohelo which was (I felt later) strangely being pulled in slowly but surely for more than a year. I hadn’t liked the title when I first heard of it (around one and a half year back) because it seemed to be connected with chemistry and so I just presumed I would find it boring. I kept avoiding it till I read ‘Eleven Minutes’ by the same author and it opened my mind to the author. The book (The Alchemist) was finally purchased by my husband but the title still proved a put off for a week. In the meanwhile I blogged a poem “The Secret”, and it was a day or two after, that I started reading ‘The Alchemist’. Thankfully it didn’t have much to do with chemistry! As most would know, it basically dealt with the topic of listening to the heart and about omens and I couldn’t help but notice a definite element of connection with the content of the poem 'The Secret' that I had written (The poem talks about listening to the heart and not go by just bookish understanding of matters)! Had my discoveries and thoughts been pulling this book in slowly but surely thus bringing concurrent thoughts out there in the world and which further established my faith in my conclusions!

Recently I read in the paper something that I again found finally in a queer way connected to the chain of thoughts I had been having for a week.
It was about a 68 year old man who sought consolation from Deepak Chopra, because he was feeling that his life had been meaningless as he had tried to achieve ‘something’ by reading spiritual books and learning classical music but did not feel he achieved anything. Deepak Chopra as always did his best to console him. He basically suggested getting rid of self pity and focus on the‘now’

But for quite a moment I thought -there is no way that man can be consoled After all he wanted ‘something’ and he didn’t get it in 68 years! Of course there is that ready made answer we can think of, that ‘he was not clear what he wanted and so didn’t get it’. But really, just think; when you go to a clothes shop, do you really know what you might end up liking. And then the tired salesman tells you to be specific what you want! It is normal in life to be unsure what u want, but when the right thing comes in front, there is that ‘ahHa! This is it!’ moment.
Now there are really two possibilities, either the 68 year old man ‘really’ didn’t get the ‘ahHa moment’ or maybe he got his ‘something’ right into his hands but failed to notice it because he was still looking out there into the stacks and not right in front of him..
We all pull in ‘that something’ that ‘pie’ that our heart has been pining for, but only our heart knows what that something is. Our ‘surface scanning and depth blind’ brain may in fact crowd out the message from our heart and fail to notice that, what life placed in our hands in an unattractive garb is actually what our heart has been really pining for. We then squander away that wealth quite simply because we didn’t open the wrapping. We squander it because we were expecting it to be out there in the stack in better wrappings rather than sitting unassumingly in our hands!
Sometimes what keeps us from our treasure is looking with our brain rather than with our heart. The smart logical brain fails to see that sometimes what glitters may not be as valuable, and what does not glitter may end up to be worth more than an equal in gold.

We have to practice being aware of the kites that come falling into our arms while we were busy spinning a thread of thoughts. We have to see the connection the kite has to our thread of thoughts and realize that we ourselves have pulled it in. It is only then that we can value it, go for it, and make the most of it.

Eclipse of the Soul

Does eclipse have an effect on us? Whenever there is an eclipse there is also a huge debate on this!
I wont comment on whether there is an effect of eclipse but I will admit that I do believe in truth to astrology (unlike most Christians), though.... I do not put my 'trust' in it rather I put my trust in the power of faith (like Christians) . Christian or not, one has to acknowledge the possibility of effect of heavenly bodies on life forms just like the moon has an effect on the sea (after all we are around 90% water!).
The Bible, as I know it, only implies not to put 'trust' in such things but rather have faith in God (as God is above all such things).It does not say that there is no truth in astrology, but rather asserts, that believing in its effects should not make us surrender to it, making no effort of will or faith to force a difference.

We are affected not only by heavenly phenomenon, but also by our genes, our hormones, our culture, environment and upbringing..So many factors!Knowing and acknowledging all the factors that effect the physical body does not mean to surrender to being slaves of it but to be empowered by the knowledge to recognize when our reactions or moods or circumstances may have been under an 'influence'. And so neither take credit nor slave it, rather we could use it for the best depending upon the context. (Also for those who change place a lot, knowing the birth signs of new people can help to connect more quickly and be better prepared on what could be expected and how to deal with it.)

Knowing and awareness of all influences on us can help us to decide to step out and think clear when the influences are negative- by the sheer power of the soul's free will as the soul cannot be effected by physical influences on the body.

Therefore being aware of the truth does not mean putting all faith in it or surrendering to it. Rather "the truth as always can set us free" ..in a way that the soul can step out from being eclipsed by the forces on the body.
When the influences are bad ..step out.. when the influences are good.. why not let the awareness be a little help? That is the proper use of knowledge, awareness and free will.

The Mighty Sun can be eclipsed surely but there never can be an eclipse of the Soul.. unless we forget this truth...