As I entered the college auditorium, there was an
extempore going on. The topic that a third year student was presenting was - friendship. He glanced at me as he started the topic. We could have become friends; I often had felt we were similar, but we never did. Neither of us took a strong initiative. Such a simple yet difficult to explain kind of topic that I wonder what I would have spoken?
A friend – brings to mind
someone who cares, who respects, who understands, who wants our company and
whose company we enjoy as well. Someone on whom we have no rights, who is a
separate individual but we come together to share some moments of togetherness.
It's years since initial college. What happens when we meet those friends from those college
times? I feel it like time travel. We travel
back to those times, those little moments shared together. The dancing on the
hostel bed and getting caught in the act by the warden. The trip to the lake with a friend a
day before an exam, a song someone sung loudly in the library; even the fun we shared in the
“introduction sessions”; the teasing, the laughs, the smiles. We suddenly realize how
little moments have in fact not been forgotten but were etched into the memory
to be brought out unexpectedly when we connect with the people from those
times. Connecting again to the fun, the excitement, the new kind of joys of college years that we traveled together.
That’s what friends hold. They often represent the
memories and the experiences, the lessons of the times. The advantage of friendship is that
it is neither a too close relationship nor a too distant one and so the mutual expression and
expectations are on a mean, neither too little nor too much. While close
relationships of family and love relationships have their own value, these may hold a lot of expectations and demands attached, that can in fact make for
each individual's burden! It is friendships again, that aid in carrying these burdens...of earning, of succeeding, of managing a home perfectly and efficiently and so on. Such
little comforts of sharing are what friendships provide.
Can you share ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING with your family? Since
family is so close, they are often affected by what we have to reveal. But
often there are friends we can share anything with, without causing them
discomfort or arousing any possessiveness or anger. In fact, a good friend can be a better
listener than even a counselor who hardly knows you.
Also, family may take us for granted. The closer we get, as
in a love relationship, the baggage of old relationship, personal issues, hidden
facets all are more and more expressed, and the result is that often close relations become more a challenge than a joy. Not that close
relationships cannot become a joy, but it is only possible when they have the right amount of friendship
factor added to it, that is, enough closeness and enough distance that prevents
the disease called “taking for granted”. In other words, it’s important to be friend first in
every relationship, remembering that no matter what the relationship, we can't own
anybody; it helps to truly care, no matter what is shared or expressed.
I read recently that in a study it was found that it
is not success, it is not relationships or even religion which
contributes most to the happiness quotient of any individual, rather it is true friendships. I could really agree to that! Friendship, a relationship with the right
amount of closeness and the right amount of distance is an equilibrium relationship
and so no doubt is incomparable.
There... I have finally spoken, on what I began considering years ago, listening to an extempore, on the incomparable relationship- friendship, and I am happy that today, I can finally say, I don't just hope to make friends with people I like, I do take the initiative to hold my hand out to those I appreciate, and today, I do have some GREAT friends!
22 comments:
Friendship is what we all need ... life can't be worth living without friends :-)
I feel like, this time of my life should be permanently frozen.. college.. this is more than everything I needed.
You're soo right about it..! Friends are like so much of everything.. mother father sister brother lover even the pet..all in one!
Thanks Green Speck and Purple Assassin; yeah indeed they can often be everything rolled into one...even a pet! :D !!
And indeed life feels dull and meaningless without a loving friend to share it with
I totally agree with you Jerly. I have some wonderful friends without whom life would not have been easy. These are people who have been friends for more than twenty years.
http://rimlybezbaruah.blogspot.in/2012/11/sometimes-i-wish.html
Could'nt agree with you more Jerly. True friends are a life time asset:)
this one now reminds me of my college days as well...
me came out with this stuff:
http://www.hindu.com/edu/2005/09/05/stories/2005090500620400.htm
hmmm...thought provoking...
i don't really differentiate between family, friends and lovers as far as closeness and distance. i agree with you that too much possessiveness is toxic to any relationship. i am pretty much the same person no matter who i'm with, i think...
Beautiful reflection on the nature of friendship, Jerly! I do think that the marriages which do the best are those based not just on love, but on friendship as well. I know that Danny is my best friend with whom I can share anything, and that gives me peace in my heart and my soul.
Blessings to you and thanks for this marvelous post!
For good times and bad times, I'll be on your side forevermore, that's what friends are for. Hahaha. That song, truly says it all.
You're right, friendship represents memories and experiences.
We can read in Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work; If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!
Therefore, God knew we need each other. As the saying goes, No man is an island.
Love this My dearest friend Jerly.
It's my first time on this blog,so hi there Jerly :o)!
I agree with everything you wrote,yet in my opinion the most important thing is to be your own best friend.At least this is the way I can manage all the various relationships.
Recently I also wrote about friends.If you're interested,you can read my post here :
http://gelsominastar.blogspot.com/2012/10/some-friends-comesome-friends-gosome.html
I must say I'd be very interested in your opinion :)...
Bye :)!
Thanks for visiting my blog. I'm now following yours. Love the concept of your book, and I'm intrigued. Lovely post here. I have been blessed with close friends, although my two closest friends over the years have drifted away, in spite of my efforts to stay close. I'm sad about that, but grateful for the dear friends I do have.
Beautiful post. :) I too agree to the fact that close relationships can become a joy when they have the right amount of friendship factor added to it.
Thank U all my dear friends for dropping by and sharing ur love for this vital bond of friendship
Now this i call truly a rgt blend of description on d topic called friendship which is very simple to feel yet very tough to put in words. u were, i guess, totally inside the crux of the topic. i have never come across such a wonderful, sweet, cute & true definition of friendship.
lovely article.. bookmarked it!
:) <----FRIENDSHIP----> (:
Friendship is beautiful... :)
Friends are like a breath of fresh air for a lifetime..
Nice blog.
Hi Jerly,
I agree with you, friendship is something unique. We share different things and in different ways with friends compared to family members. However, I think husbands and wives can become best friends in some cases when elements of friendship are woven together in their relationship, but they would certainly need friends around them for other things.
college days... wonderful time ha?
it is then i began publishing my writings in News papers n magazines...
that 'friendship' one was a much appreciated one by everyone as can be imagined..
one topic that has takers all over, any time :P
Thanks Monu my critic friend; I am happy u loved this so much!
Welcome to the blog Manjulika and Zunnur and for sharing ur views with all of us here.
Thanks again Deeps liked the article u shared
So true.....agree totally with you on this....:)
A beautiful post. :)
Life without friends is not a life worth living for.
Thanks Irfanuddin :)
Yeah Vinay I think so too!
Friends are for ever..
Nice post..
Post a Comment