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Tuesday, August 14, 2012

The Fallen Manhood

It is said that a society is known by the way it treats its women. It is said that women used to be respected in some era and some societies….

I did not want to write a post on a pointless pursuit. I don’t have to write what is the way the women are being treated today,… and that speaks all. Why I take my virtual pen finally to write is the ‘rate’ of deterioration of the society that has come to view in the past few months. I am troubled enough to be pushed to post a question as to why the society is spreading its viciousness towards women in such a geometrically progressing pace?

There was a report that one of the reasons is that violence against women depicted in movies is reflected back into society. That’s a point I quite agree with. Many movies I watched have disturbed me. Some for the foul double meaning language that the veteran heroes of the south use with women; the disrespect and objectification spewing from their words. When heroes do it, the fans follow. It is indeed visibly reflected in the society.

Other movies disturb me for how a large section of the males in the audience react, when they watch on screen the plight of a woman shuddering in fear and misery! Shockingly (maybe not surprisingly) quite a large part of it, jeers and laughs in pleasure! Lustful society indeed that cannot see a woman beyond her body.

Men would blame it on the women for having objectified themselves. Have the women of today really objectified themselves? Well, what option is left with the insecure womanhood, if she has to find or keep a man; when the only thing any Man is willing to ‘love’ her for, is her body and she is constantly in threat of being dumped for a better or younger 'model'?

What makes man so insensitive?
Curiosity does lead humankind into the dark lanes. I know of someone who tried beer. And then he tried it quite frequently. But he became aware that the beer was pulling him into the liquor lane. He also realized he had the capacity to become an addict. From that point of realization he did something that requires great strength. He made a decision and stuck by it. The decision was to never touch even beer! There are rarely any anecdotes I remember with as much admiration as this. He is one real strong Man. He had strength enough to resist even the ‘little finger’ of an irresistible evil.

I don’t know if anybody realizes the powerful truth in what the three monkeys of Gandhiji teach - “Don’t see evil, don’t hear evil, don’t speak evil” For evil is very powerful. It can suck you in, into its vicious grip. You may start by curiosity about the evil, but you never know how and when as you move more and more into the lane, in an explorers spirit, you become part of that evil, you become addicted; some evils that were repulsive to begin with, end up becoming a source of pleasure.

This happens to be the story of all sorts of addictions. Its starts with a one time and then suddenly, you realize that you are in the vicious grip of a snake, that slowly pushes out all your sense of right and wrong, deadens your spirit and makes you a ball of mass that ‘laughs and jeers at grossly wrong places’. Such a person no longer cares what a petty sight he makes, he is hardly aware of it, for he convinces himself that he is proud of his sickness. That it is his Manliness, his strength!

Weakness it is.. Can a man be so strong as to let go of even the finger of the evil when he realizes where it is leading to? Can a man be so strong as to not even touch beer no matter how his buddies laugh at him? Not even be incited by peer pressure and insinuations of not being a man? Can a man be as strong as that! If there is such a man, then he surely is a Man!

Today what we also see is that no man seems to have the strength to stand by a woman to protect her! ‘Manliness’, they convince themselves, is rather in abusing the weak women in all possible ways and blaming every failing on them. For the measure of pain and blame man is capable of giving, he does not have the strength to take even a fourth of it!

They think ,act and talk ‘lust’, and then they hide their lustful nature behind the insinuations to womanhood as sluts and objects of entertainment. Not that they believe the sex seeker image of women projected by the ‘virtual businesses’ that thrive on lies; but rather they are weak and prefer pointing their finger at the woman than admit that they have in fact objectified themselves; that their ‘whole world’ from thoughts to words to actions, revolves around their… ‘object’.
After incidents like in Guwahati, the ‘show time’ made by the media and society out of that teenage girl's plight at the hands of jeering senseless men; women must have lost any remaining respect for manhood or any hopes from society in general to genuinely empathize with their situations. That na├»ve girl believed she had empathic ears as she talked to the camera! She is too young to know, that it is not just a matter of few fishes, it’s the whole river that is dirty.

As men conveniently forget to care about women whom they were designed to protect, they turn out to be woman’s worst enemies. They numb themselves, and do not care where they stand in the ‘lowly’ woman’s eyes.
By the by, what does the Man in today’s society look like in the Woman’s eyes? I am sure in any mature women’s eyes they are the weakest Men, weaker than even women, that any era could produce

But the truth is, it does not help to hate the sick. The sick have to come down from the throne of pride and see their sickness for what it is, only then can they help themselves out of it. The men who claim to be strong by harassing the weak, should come to terms with the weakness it actually is. Men have to abandon their high horses called “Manhood” that take them to hell holes. They should not lose their head to the powers of evil, rather, they should finally show their strength where it is really required; against the power of the dark as it pulls their right senses in. The head can rule again if it is kept where it belongs. That power is for Man to summon, for it is in his own hand.


dr.antony said...

Age old issues.There are signs of change.And finally ,will.

Martha Jane Orlando said...

"She is too young to know, that it is not just a matter of few fishes, it’s the whole river that is dirty."

Jerly, when men forget to show respect to women and look at them as just objects to be used and abused, our society needs much changing. Indeed, we need a revival!

I am reminded of this scripture:
Ephesians 5:25
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.

If we are to be redeemed as a society, such love, respect, and adoration must be taught.

You truly made me think with this post, my dear. Thank you for sharing and blessings to you!

Jerly said...

@ Dr Antony, thanks for dropping by on this topic. I am not sure about signs of change; but yeah we do hope for change. Age old issues they are and its time it does not stay issues any more. We do need the assurance of having real men in the world.
@Martha..Thank you Martha. Frankly the roots of evil are so widespread that a revival seems impossible. But all it needs is real will power. Just one decision from each individual. The point is do men want change? They are happy as they are. Its women who want it and a women's need is not important anymore to man in 'his' world. I wish they would care for women again

Fhermission said...

Thanks for bringing this issue (AGAIN!!!) out in the open.
I'll talk about the image of women in Movies and Media. Women was transform into a sort of commodity. We sell beer, cigars, cars, and everything else with female model covered only with their bare skin as clothing.
Women was turned into a consumable, perishable, and disposable product.
Show more skin and you get more sale. That's the kind of culture our media is telling us to do.
Do we blame also the women for that?
If women start to respect their own body as well, then probably, just probably, men would change.

There are various groups now that upheld Women's right...the right to be respected. Let us pray for this groups.

Because women was taken at the ribs...as equal to men...to be beside him and not under.

There are many women now that excel in fields that was formerly dominated by Men...Women like Jerly, who can crystallized her thoughts into positive actions.

Paul wrote on 1 Corinthians 9:27
"But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified."

Cheers to all the beautiful Ladies in the world!


Debra said...

Jerly, I say "ditto" to Martha's thoughtful comment. We have a biblical standard that, if observed, would at least alter the problem. It is a societal problem that won't change without a change of heart. Thank you for bringing the subject to light Jerly. Blessings!xox

The Poet said...

Dear Jearly,
All I can say is that I was taught from infancy to respect women. After all, like you, I was also born from a GREAT woman!! I don't believe in society and their man made laws. I believe in LOVE and respect. Thanks for sharing.

Jerly said...

Thanks Fher :)To be frank with you what I feel is women are not often chosen by God for certain purposes. It is not because she is not worthy; it is because men who need to hear her wont hear her as they would again be blinded by their lustful nature that cant see beyond the body. Why would God embark on a pointless pursuit? So often she is chosen by God to be in the backdrop of a man, guiding him gently; like Mary was with Jesus; on her bidding he performed his first miracle, she let him free to follow gods calling, however much it pained her.

Jerly said...

Thanks Debra and Andy. To be taught by a Mother to respect women may indeed be the solution. I know life may still mislead a man but a mother must do what is her duty to teach how to treat a woman and not leave him to learn it on his own from other sources like movies! For that there has to be freedom, transparency and communication in a family. todays families are weak with only maids to look after kids, or just a bunch of people living together nobody truly knowing the other. In olden days there were rules that used to be taught which have been forgotten today.

More than that a boy should be taught to handle his problems by sharing with the mother and crying. If that is not done then he will handle his problems by blaming and kicking someone. It is women's ability to cry and share which makes her more capable and stronger than a man. 'Men don't cry' is a message some weak guy started and all weak men keep repeating. A man who wants to capably handle his problems without feeling the need to shove it on another will definitely cry. I STRESS that an authoritarian attitude (as opposed to affirmative attitude) like in parenting is the biggest spoiler of kids. If kids have freedom at home; the society is a safer place and the kids themselves turn out more morally sound.

Melissa Tandoc said...

I like your take of fallen manhood. Indeed the media has much contribution to the subliminal consciousness of men in general that appeals mostly to id.

Just this morning I was reading Jessica M's wallpost on pious Jewish men who are into the trend of wearing 'special lenses' to avoid looking at loosely clad women they meet along the streets...

"See no evil, speak no evil, hear no evil..."

I think lust is formed not by what we see but what is formed in our hearts... My SD once wrote that to "a pure man, everything is pure..."

I think values and virtues should again be reintroduced to a very modern society that refuses traditions and cliches...

Love and respect not only to women but to all of humankind.

Rahul Bhatia said...

The situation is disgusting and gets worse with every passing day!Hope some sanity will prevail!

Dangerous Linda said...

WoW! Jerly you are obviously very upset, which is understandable. However, your sweeping comments about 'all men' are inaccurate.

I have a boyfriend and two sons who are nothing like the men you describe.

When we attack 'all men' because of what 'some men' do we actually undermine our own chances to make a difference.

Holding you in my heart as you find your way through this challenge. XOXO

Jerly said...

True Melissa, that it is the heart that sees; in this context 'a woman as a gift of god or as a curse'. A pure man sees all as pure...? well that is a different thing;I am not sure "pure' is a right word, maybe in seeing things as they are, a pure man does not judge rather he understands and expresses why it is so (like Jesus).

@Rahul; I am glad you understood the perspective and context of the situation. I have noticed that men always agree with my criticism of manhood. They can see the situation I am talking about and not take it personally. I am grateful for that.

@Linda. I am glad u expressed ur perspective and happy that u see the good men. I do tend to generalize; it is because all generalisation is understood as not talking of the 100 out of 100. I included the anecdote of a strong man to express that the strength in men is not something I have missed to note either. It is as visible to me as a white dot is on a black paper.;) Ha Ha. Currently I do see blackness and have to speak about it ignoring the specks of white; so naturally I have spoken more of the black paper and only mentioned the white dots I see. Yeah Linda I do hope I see more of white as well; but I don't see myself as 'attacking' men;I am purely expressing what I see and have been seeing.

Saru Singhal said...

Women is surely not respected in our country, though the situation is better in Western countries. Very well written and a thought provoking read, especially for men.

Dangerous Linda said...

Jerly: This comment CRACKS ME UP, "I do tend to generalize; it is because all generalisation is understood as not talking of the 100 out of 100." Haha! XOXOX

Jerly said...

Thanks Saru..I am grateful u shared ur awareness here. I was not v sure of how women are treated in the west although i did feel they are treated with more respect despite being allowed more freedom in all manners. Maybe it is their different perspective and acceptance of sexuality.

Thanks Linda for visiting again. I feel Saru's comment is the answer why u and I obviously see a v different ratio of black verses white.!:)

Monu Awalla said...

I support your thought which is unfortunately a fact rather than just being a thought.

Not all men are the same I believe from the bottom of my heart. And I know I'm not wrong. Although in terms of statistics, yes u r taking a handsome lead against what i believe. Just because of a fact that nobody can deny this fact.

Still I would love to stick to my point because it's 'We' who are going to teach our sons what we believe is gud for our society or specifically gud for the betterment of feminine. Though gradually but I certainly believe that the change is happening...

Manisha Bhatia said...

Jerly this post s so meticulous, it truly showcases ur brilliant analysis. Sometimes I feel we as girls r witnessing so much nusiance wt abt the toddlers who r yet to see the real world. I wonder how will I save my daughter wen i will be mother. Brilliant post.


Jerly said...

Thank u Monu and Mani :)
Mani I could see ur concern for the girl child in ur painting as well. Its a big issue and a big worry for a parent in a world where no one can be trusted. Hope and prayer is what we have to hold to!

Destination Infinity said...

Men are designed to protect women? If you go and say this thing on a Feminist site, you'll get a mouthful back from all the women out there!

These days, people (including women), are quite independent unless they come from very conservative societies. It is my observation that more than men, women know how to handle things in the society. Or at least they learn more quickly than men.

Your post creates a stereotype for men. I too am guilty of stereotyping people, particularly women. But then, let us agree that we are generalizing things too much and each person is unique. And yes, people change (with age, for one).

Destination Infinity

Jerly said...


M P Nicholson said...

http://sinhika.blogspot.in/2011/12/hey-woman-are-you-chocolate.html ....A perspective how women can change the way they are treated..from the mother to the daughter..

Jerly said...

I read it and I dont think women should have to become like men so that they will be respected. Both have different areas of expertise. To excel in areas of GK, politics, debates etc cannot be a requirement to be respected. they have skills that men dont have and can we ask men to develop those so we can respect them? :)

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