Christmas brings out fully the little child that I really am. I have always loved Santa. In my growing up years I read about the history behind this man called Santa. Santa Claus or rather Saint Nicholas was a historic 4th-century saint and Greek Bishop of Myra (part of modern-day Turkey). He had a reputation for secret gift-giving, such as putting coins in the shoes of those who left them out and is known in particular for secretly providing money for the dowry for three impoverished daughters of a pious Christian (he visited their house after they had gone to bed and left three bags of gold coins in three stockings left over the fireplace for drying). Many miracles were attributed to his intercession, and because of that he is also known as Nikolaos the Wonderworker! His feast day is 6 December and it later got tied up with the Christmas traditions.
Christmas season is indeed magical. When my kids hope for Santa to come in his red dress I tell them that Santa always loves to give gifts secretly so he sends his gifts through someone and whenever we get something that we dearly wanted that nobody knew about, then it is Santa’s gift.
All through my childhood I believed that Santa sends me a gift on christmas…and I still believe it! I have often got gifts around Christmas time that nobody knew I wanted, sometimes even I didn't know until it arrived its winding way to me!
My best Christmas memories are of Halwara Punjab where I was part of the carol troop when I was about 11 and 12 years old. It was fun visiting houses and singing carol songs all through the Christmas season.It was a magical time indeed. I was very proud to be the one holding baby Jesus. There was only one problem. When we got into the coach after each house visit, the Awesome Santa became just a normal man when someone adjusted his make up for him! That’s really a deflator for a child who wants to believe the Santa is real!
When we moved from there I missed the Christmas fervor in every other place. Missed singing the carols with a proper troupe…
From the year 2007 I had been thinking that it is the new born Jesus who should be getting a gift from me and not vice versa and so I was trying to gift baby Jesus something on Christmas. It was my book. Such a silly childish thought! So nobody but I knew of this Christmas co relation of why I only tried for a publisher once a year and that too as the year was ending. I worked on my manuscript as the Christmas season approached and would try usually for just one publisher and ... fail and work on my manuscript again. It became a cycle and I was thinking Jesus would take my book when he would be fully satisfied with it. The book would grow as I re read it each year end and edited it adding new insights.
But as six years passed, in my heart maybe I was beginning to suspect that Jesus didn't really appreciate it too much or want it on His birthday! This September after my book became an e-book, I wasn't even remotely thinking of anything for December but coincidentally my husband gave my book into print in the Christmas Season without being aware in any way of my little secret! I was surprised and happy for more than one reason when I came to know of it a few days ago. Evidently Baby Jesus did want the book in print on his birthday, but from my Husband's Hands?! Who knows His mind or ways....
When I was tired of trying to gift something to Jesus, I got it as a Christmas gift to me instead!
SO I have no gift to give this Christmas or do I? A few days before December 1st, my daughters instrumental music teacher gave me the musical notes of Christmas carol songs! (Maybe he felt I would be interested in them as I had taken from him notes for some church songs a few months earlier.) It was a surprise, so I felt that playing the carol songs on the synthesizer was what baby Jesus actually wanted as gift from me.
As I play a different carol each day of this December I am reminded of the times with the carol troupe. Travelling each day together as troupe to some different locality, different people in different houses. How I loved observing it all. I remember also that I particularly observed the strumming on the Guitars. I remember how I fell in love with instrumental music. Didn't I always want to play the songs on an instrument? As I play them each day of december I am still not sure - it is a gift from me or again a gift to me?!