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Thursday, January 12, 2012

Starting All Over!

There are few joys compared to starting all over! A new year, a new place, new people....The new has something to hope for, something to look forward to, where the old often has exhausted itself. The last month, exhausted options, absorbed lessons. ..

I would say life has not always turned out as I expected, but I wouldn’t say in the end, I did not relish life as it turned out to be! I have been, I would also say, blessed with the new, even when I wished to settle down at one, be it places or friends! Seven places before marriage and four after, not including Bangalore where I lived four times in all the years put together. Which place do I call my place, maybe the place that calls me back the most? I have been lucky to live near Goa after marriage, to have known traffic free roads of Kudal and Chiplun, where long drives were immensely relaxing and nature was so lush. Yet it is very rare that a place has held me back, maybe once, an apartment where I could see a lake from my window in a place like Pune. But eventually the signs are so clear when it is time to move, that once done with it however painfully, I rarely look back!

People ask me which place or friends I miss. I am sure I cut across as hard hearted when I don’t have a place or person I miss. For me the place I live, the best friend I have in that place, is all that matters! I am surprised when my old friends remember details of long past times, as one would of a moment ago,but that are almost clean out of my mind as a past life would be! Being reminded of them is, for me, like having undergone a past life regression session, and I dare not admit that to my dear old friends who have carried the memories so religiously! I even surprise and scare myself with this capacity not to look back at even the most fabulous of times, even those that had been immensely difficult to give up! Which friend do I belong to then, maybe the friend who cares to keep holding my hand, whatever the distances that may come in!

I have often thought of myself as absent minded, not interested in devoting my whole mind to the routines, not living in the present, but some days like today, as I realise I am starting over, I also realise I am most present where it really matters. I do live each place fully, absorb each friend totally, so that when I part I carry their essence in me, they are added on to what I am. We usually miss something which wasn’t lived fully, which wasn’t totally added on to us.

Starting over again for me is the point of time when comes the awareness that I am a new added up person. Each place, each person, each year adds on to us in more ways than mere figures! Reminds me of the words from a song..
Maine tinke uthaye huen hain paronpe, ashiana nahin hai mera. I don’t have a nest...I carry the straws in my feathers.

Sometimes the best things about life can be found in not having a nest, in starting all over, in growing again in a new soil, however painful each uprooting is...

19 comments:

Jessica M said...

Loved this..there were so many parts that stuck out that I could quote!

"Maine tinke uthae huen hain paronpe, ashiana nahin hai mera. I don’t have a nest...I carry the straws in my feathers. " That's beautiful!

Life is impermanent, full of change, if we didn't transition from one stage to another that would result in spiritual stagnance. I love how your spirit soars.

Corinne Rodrigues said...

Jerly - I read Jamie's post earlier today and yours now and can completely identify with it...Nothing like the present...Starting afresh is always wonderful. I wish you happiness in the present!

Jan said...

Great post, I too have a difficult time remembering past friends and events. Not that I don't know the friends, but I am so full of today that yesterday fades to the nether regions of my mind.
This was so well said thank you.

Rimly said...

You remind me so much of me. I have lived in so many places too, I am truly like a gypsy as Corinne says. I have made great friends along the way and I have been enriched by all the experiences. But if you ask me if I miss any of those places, I dont. Every new place I make a home of. Thank you for sharing this Jerly

Martha J. M. Orlando said...

Being able to embrace the present in which we find ourselves is such a gift. If we do look at some part of our past with a longing or regret, perhaps it is exactly because we didn't fully live it out.
"I don't have a nest . . ." reminds me of what Jesus said: "Foxes have dens and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.” Matthew 8:20
Blessings to you!

Andy said...

Hello.
The only regret I have of the past is not having enough years with my dad who passed away when I was just in my teens. Other than that, I relish the present & give thanks & praise to the Almighty for allowing me another day, another year of life, laughter & most importantly love.
Wonderful post from you Jerly.
Thanks for sharing.

Harp Of My Soul

J. R. Nova said...

I love starting over! When I played video games, I'd barely beat them because I kept hitting the reset button on my characters just to feel that sense of simplicity at having 0 stats :D

The closest thing I can get to that in real life is meditation.

David said...

Life remains in constant motion along with every other aspect of our exsistence. I've had the privledge of relocating often in the past and every place holds special memories. That said these days I enjoy my routine and have no desire to move again unless it's to an exotic location. I'm home with my family and true friends so This is where I'll remain...

Jerly said...

:) smiles

Mani said...

Its a nice attitude to flow with whats life is offering you, you are growing so much...

Even I would love to be at diff places now n then coz I get bored v easily but ironicaly I don get chance..u r lucky!!

Love
Mani

Jerly said...

Thanks Mani :)That was a nice line..To flow with what life is offering. To not resist. Hmm

melissa said...

Hi Jerly. I love what you just shared here. And like Martha what came to mind was Jesus not having a nest to lay down His head.

Life is a constant journey I believe and we are called to different places to detach us of everything including friends ~ to be constantly light and free.

Nobody says it's very easy, esp. when you've already invested a whole amount of time and money on your house, on friendship...when you've learned to become familiar to places and find your way to many things...

But there is a call to itinerancy ~ and you're up to the challenge and risk :)

Good luck on your adventures. You are a very reflective person and therefore, you won't miss any of it ;)

Jerly said...

Thanks Melissa, that's so sweet and encouraging :)

Jovy Thomas said...

A very nice read! :)

Praveen said...

That was beautiful :)

Monu Awalla said...

I love making a beautiful collection of my memories of all shades of emotions :)

well to me no matter how much we think we live in present, flashbacks keep coming in our mind bringing smile, pain, feeling of satisfaction, dissatisfaction, love, hatred, and d list is so long to count on... :)

I wud like to connect this post with ur earlier post on living life fully with all the shades of emotions...

Thoughts flowing naturally within us, be it of any sort then, gives us chance to explore ourselves provided if we don't neglect dem and accept dem whole heartedly... ^_^ And dis how I keep on meeting myself now and den :D I always loved meeting myself be it a new place or merely a memory of past... it gives me a high... :)

Jerly said...

Thanks Jovy Praveen and Monu. I guess Monu by earlier post you mean equilibrium 3, I put in the grps? Hmm Actually I often wonder if living in the present does need to avoid thoughts of the past? maybe here too if we find it going into an excess we should jump back to the present caliberating the time travel to 'moderate'. :)

Jerly said...

Thanks Jovy Praveen and Monu. I guess Monu by earlier post you mean equilibrium 3, I put in the grps? Hmm Actually I often wonder if living in the present does need to avoid thoughts of the past? maybe here too if we find it going into an excess we should jump back to the present caliberating the time travel to 'moderate'. :)

Gaurav Arora said...

Not remembering what you go through, is kinds painful. Unfortunately I could relate to it.

We turn our memories off, to avoid sorrows. But that makes us miss some lovely ones too. I regret doing it myself, but somewhere you have to contend.

I redirected from the post you commented on
What it takes to be happy?

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