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Friday, April 2, 2010

Art of not Giving!

I am writing this as a reflection a day after Good Friday. Jesus GAVE up his LIFE to save us. Being a christian always means being 'giving'
But believe me, the Bible also advocates that 'Not Giving' is as important as giving! In fact compulsively giving may not turn out to be always good. One has to know when to -NOT GIVE.
For example- giving good advice. Do all people like to follow advice? No
A listening sort of person would take a good advice after consideration mostly at the first instance.
The Bible says in essense that if you find someone doing something wrong advice him three times and if he still does not listen 'have nothing to do with him'.
To what extent should we have 'nothing to do with him'?
The Bible says somewhere (as an advice to apostles) that if you are not recieved in a particular home, then as you leave shake even the dust of the house off your feet.
That's symbolic of how complete the cut off should be!

What does such total leaving or not giving do?!
Not Giving helps the 'not giver' and could eventually also help the 'not given' too!
It is very difficult to totally have nothing to do with a person you love. But you will only hurt yourself everyday by holding on to a non listener. When all forms of attachment are abandoned, you will not feel the need to advice and when you dont advice you wont be agonized with helplessness when your words are not heeded to.That is how it helps the 'non-giver'.

Whereas when a person who hates to be 'told' finds he has been abandoned, he misses the care, tries to incite you to advice but when all fails, he will finally look 'at the advice'! It might take years for the person to come to your answer, but it is better than never, as would otherwise have been, and you would have saved years of agony on yourself. We owe something to ourselves first and why bear a futile unrest in life FOREVER for a non listener however much loved!

Art of Not Giving in a nut shell
1. Learn to recognize non listeners
2. Stop 'telling' a non-listener'; you will only earn for yourself the title of a nag!
3. Have nothing to do with the person, cut off 'emotionally'.


Grace said...

This makes perfect sense !
And it applies to me in ways. I suffered because i was not worth it and now i am very lucky to be having the same support system on again.
How are you so wise?

Jerly said...

Gods Grace dear.. He teaches all of us through life

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