Jealousy Unveiled

It is said in some scriptures in effect that if a man can deal justly, let him have two wives, otherwise if he fears he cannot be fair to both, then let him have only one. Jealousy is a trait often associated with women fighting over one man, and women are often insinuated as possessing too much of the trait. But I have felt that in fact women suffer from jealousy because of a basic ineptness in men! The common man is by nature not only attracted to many women but is also basically unfair, uncaring or tactless. Women being perceptive and more emotionally developed beings (as most people would agree), are more sensitive to unfairness and end up in the vicious hold of jealousy. In fact, I have known that women can be the best of friends to each other, and generally, if they have an issue that breaks the friendship it more often than not is the result of an insensitive or unjust man who came in between them, making one jealous of the other. By the way, why men don’t suffer as much from jealousy is because they are either busy looking at other women, or have wise or caring wives who know how to avoid making her mate jealous. And then if a man suffers jealousy, it's , mostly, either because the woman intended to make him jealous or the man is getting unreasonably possessive perhaps because of his own insecurities.

Jealousy unveiled and confronted is jealousy conquered. Avoiding it can worsen the situation irretrievably. So here, I address women folk, and let's see how to cope with the greens... Well the first point is - Is it fair to expect something from Men that they are basically not capable of ? It is like asking a monkey to walk erect! How foolish can we women be! I read somewhere, "If you ever feel like making your man understand something then hit your head against a wall until that feeling goes away!" The long and short of it is: “It is we women who have to change (as always) to manage our green emotion." 

So here are some truths we need to swallow. Of course, all men are naturally drawn to beautiful women, but the one who cares for his woman (however ordinary) will never make her feel less, or hurt her self-esteem, because, any sensible man knows that to be appreciated by her man for what she is happens to be the very ground for the woman. All men surely can have affection for more than one woman in life, but the one who cares for his relationships will deal fairly in resolving conflicts, and while expressing his affections. The fact remains that 'caring men are a rare breed'!

Women are just as much (or maybe more) jealous of emotional attachments in a man as of physical attractions and that is difficult for men to understand. For women, the biggest need is affection and not sex, and often the reason they give sex is to get affection whereas a man is affectionate until he gets sex, from which point he can think only of sex. So when affection is dealt unfairly among the women in a man’s life, the wife, the sexual partner can get jealous, which the man, whose primary need is sex, fails to understand. That is why a long courting period before hitching is a must. Indeed, that does not guarantee anything. So I would like to give a probably 'wild' suggestion.  If you need only affection then don’t give sex to your love interest because the assumption that sex buys love is as naive as expecting the sun to continue shining during late evening.

One way of putting an end to the green emotion is of course to end the emotional tie up that is causing jealousy, but the fall back is, it does not help with the next emotional tie up. So women, there has to be a solution that helps avoid jealousy in relationship that man is programmed to arouse. Yes, I am sure you guessed right; the answer is ‘expect nothing’. Now can you expect rivers to flow in the desert? But if you go forward expecting a desert and find a river, how happy you would be. So girls, don’t blame your love interests, blame your thick heads for expecting flowers on pine trees. Look it up, pines bear only cones. Indeed you have caused your own miseries. However it is wise to expect all trees to be pine trees as you would be allowing yourself the chance to be pleasantly surprised...

But then what do you do for your inborn hunger for affection…hmm..well….pray to god to give you luck? Or become the source of such love. 'Embodied Love' does not need any external contribution. Women have a good chance of finding that well-spring within because their need is great and they are sensible to understand it is not to be found out there. Yes, we need to turn inwards. The sooner we do, the better life becomes.