Lathmaar Holi

A few hours ago, I heard some comments on TV by women of Barsana, the birth place of Radha and the place where Lathmaar Holi originated. In this form of Holi women thrash the men with sticks! The women folk of the region were saying that 'Men don't really respect women, the way Krishna respected Radha. There are no such men as Krishna, and for men, women are merely 'use and throw'. Lathmaar Holi is really an opportunity for the women to take out their frustration and resentment against the men. Even children are allowed this day to hurl abuses at the Men.' These statements from the women made me realize that Lathmaar Holi is really therapeutic for women!

The regular holi with colours is fun and freedom, but this is really therapy, sort of like play therapy. Here the hidden anger and resentment against men is taken out. It is true, I feel women do Hide from their real feelings about men.
Their statements also reminded me of a reality show where a woman breaks off from her boyfriend and throws away the engagement ring in anger and both walk away from each other. But then it is the woman who seeing that he is not coming after her to explain himself, turns and goes after him meekly requesting him to explain everything away. Everything that she heard and saw. All that she had overheard him say about 'not caring a damn about her'. Women just can't face reality. How can they trust their own ears, their eyes and their brain when it could make them loose their desire to live. They find it better to hold on to imagined reality than loose the desire to live. Understandable.

And so I respect the person who started the Lathmaar Holi, to bring out hidden anger resentment and frustration and give healing to the women folk. Was it Krishna? Or was it some other Man? If it was some normal Man, then I am amazed at the care!Can a normal man really care so much for the health of women? Well, women are needed to take care of the household, and their health is vital for the health of the family. Now, that care becomes understandable!

To Market or Not to Market?

In todays world, the above question is almost the same as the question, 'to be or not to be'! Blame it on the immense population, the enormous pool of talent, the increasing number of choices in every aspect, that only if marketed well 'I or my value' may 'be' or else just 'not be'!

Many times I have surprised myself by being guilty of the very things I have been at one time very sure that 'I am not capable of''! In 2002, march I wrote in my diary, 'When we have doubts about ourselves we show off whatever little we have. When we are sure of our riches, we can afford to be simple. Yes, marketing could put me off. But today, the world belongs more often to the 'glittering' and less often to the 'substance'.

And so in 2007 after my first attempt at publishing which failed, one of the many reasons being that 'because I have not officially studied Theology', I put it in my blog. When that didn't attract many readers, I tried to get it published again another two times. With the third rejection, my faith in my book has matured and trust in the publishing industry has diminished. Maybe they would prefer more attention seeking controversy creating books, not one that intends to dispell controversies and contradictions. I am happy I discovered blogdom on the way as it gives me a unique freedom to express. But maybe my Book is stiffled most probably under the growing load of my own posts and so I have entered twitterdom to freshly market my book and now even blog. All unapologetically.

From politicians, to actors to authors...all are willy nilly marketing themselves, their products or their ideologies. But they are people in the limelight, then why the need to market!? I guess there is such a crowd in even the limelight that each has to sound the 'tom tom' to be noticed.
But then there are also the militant groups who have been anxious that they are not in the papers for over 14 months and so right away just burst a bomb to remind everybody that they exist!

I am anguished, 'why kill life just 'to be', as they achieve nothing but death. It won't destroy the Nation's Spirit. It will only grow more united, I trust that . Then why ? Just'to be'? So much better then 'not to be'!?

It's the most cowardly way to come forward.

My 2002 notes are not outdated yet. Empty vessels make much noise. Please fill yourselves with genuine purposes.

A Valentine-For the Loved or the unloved?

Valentine day is named after St. Valentine. I read, that St. Valentine a PRIEST, supported love, romance and marriage and performed marriages in a time in Rome when Marriage had been outlawed! He was also a sort of pen friend to a young blind girl, being a light in her darkness. In his last letter to her, before his execution, he addressed himself as 'your Valentine'.

Valentine day, a day of celebration of love, is not just for couples, it's about being there for all the lonely souls, it;s about being there for oneself.

There might be so many lonely folk on a valentine day! They might not even be lucky enough to get a good soul like 'St. Valentine as a friend in their loneliness, but someone they should always have is their own selves. Is that easy? If it were, there would be no suicides ever! Whatever the reason for suicides, the basic reason is that one forgets to love ones own self! Everybody in the world may be pointing at our faults, but each of us is a temple of God. The first duty of every person is towards one's own self, to discover one's own potential that nobody else has a duty to notice; a duty to love oneself. in a world where nobody else may show the capability to truly love another.

So, I write a poem dedicated to all those who might have often found themselves lonely on Valentine day

MY BEST VALENTINE

It's a day of Love, a day to give

A day of friendship, joy to live

But first I have a Heart of Mine!

I treat it well, my Valentine

It cares for all, it cries for peace

It bleeds for love, it smiles with ease

And then all lone the day?! It's fine...

as 'I', am my best Valentine!

It mends my dream, eases my frown

It holds my wishes, n'er let's me down

All darkness, it's my one sunshine!

Yes 'Me', my very best Valentine...

Training in Empathy?

I am quite happy to note through the papers that this time around I was wrong, and politicians have finally found the courage to say to the Shiv Sena, that it is too much now!

And now to speak about what the newspapers bring us....

While reading the newspapers, I find some news pleasantly surprise me by being so touchingly philanthropic, and some news causes so much pain to me that I wish I had not read them. Man is capable of so much good and bad. Even at the level of the people that we get to know, it is like reading a whole new book. We make a first impression on the basis of the 'Title and cover' and immediate evaluations. But when we start reading there are often pleasant or unpleasant surprises, and as we close our evaluation of the book, we may think, 'oh, it is not at all the way I first thought! We may sometimes like it more than we expected or are shocked by contents we hadn't expected.

And then there is our own self that we think we know, but keep discovering that we have to manage our selves too, our weaknesses, our expectations, and also manage our interaction with each different person! From the Macro to the Micro level, Human interaction, within the self or with others is more or less 'management'. Whether it is between nations or groups or parties or individuals or even within our own self. It is obviously so important that 'Managing Humankind' be a lesson taught in every class!

What makes for such management that could make possible for sustainable peace within the community and the nation and the world?

'What we act that we become'. Repeated messages given from our childhood form a pattern that decides how we behave with others. We try to act according to the expectations of behaviour and more often than not we begin to confirm to the expectations. I believe that one of the most essential messages that should be given from the very childhood say in Moral Science classes is 'Put yourself in the shoes of others before you decide how to act towards them'. I am saying this because this directive had formed in me the basis of behaviour with others. The fall side of it is that we may behave over patiently with others and then when we lose it finally it could be like an explosion from a small spark!( But later on the importance of assertiveness forms from experiences). But still it is always better to start timid than aggressive and I do believe that even that fall side can be prevented within such classroom scenario itself. Each year this same message should be given in more and more advanced way in Moral Science class as is given for other topics in other subjects. Like there could be enactment of how a particular sort of behaviour feels when coming from the other.This could also be said as 'giving the dose of the same medicine'. This is usually required for those, who though well meaning may not be able to understand how their behaviour comes across to others. I have needed that sometimes! In people who are unmindful of others, often I have seen that 'put yourself in the other's shoes' suggestion or at worst a dose of the same medicine does help and I have drawn a conclusion from varied experiences that in such people there definitely has been a lack in that practice in their formative years. Schools can do a lot in this - let us say 'training in empathy'. Empathy may not always come naturally, but I do believe it can be learn't through regular practise. How are terrorists created? Many probably know that it is mostly by brainwashing little children in special schools upto their adulthood so that they are trained to think only in a specific manner. They could have been different people given the freedom to use their own brains if they had studied in normal schools. Empathy can then definitely also be encouraged within the normal school scenario by a long duration of training. I believe it is very essential and would be very beneficial for the dream of a peaceful world.