I switched on the TV and heard a character in a Movie saying 'We are all hopelessly flawed'. It hit a chord because I had been in a hopeless mood regarding my own flaws… the flaws of having an overactive brain, of being a critic, of being opinionated, philosophical, of having an ego, of being laid back (or call it lazy), maybe even talkative, maybe possessing intensity that draws intense situations(!), slightly obssessive compulsive… and many more flaws, that seem to be an obstruction to peace, within and without.
The character in the Movie then broke into a poem which in essence asked nature to keep its pristine perfection to itself and give him (the poet) the crowded city!! The poem seemed to reassure me that I need not strive to be perfect or have a perfect life. The world has a place for imperfection too...When it comes to relationships; it is really unrealistic to ask for perfection. At best we can be sincere in our approach to others....in our own unique imperfect way...
Come to think of it, the world in fact has never been perfect especially when we look at all things with our perspective. Then we notice that, the woods usually don’t come without biting insects and blood sucking mosquitoes, the city with its comforts does not come without its crowd and pollution; or consider this, youth has so little in terms of essential maturity, whereas wisdom and maturity more often doesn’t have the glory of youth. Even virtues are attached with vice, for example, it has been noted that intelligent people also tend to be aggressive. So just see what that spells for close relationships! It would mean an intelligent partner will often be uncomfortably aggressive, a simple person could prove boring, a wise partner may seem too proud and preachy, a beautiful partner too arrogant, a talkative one could cause discord while a silent one could exasperate you. Show me a virtue and I will show you the attached vice! (...has somebody already said that?).Even in terms of what we seek, if it is an excess of money, we give up the joys of leisure, if it is an excess of knowledge we give up blissful ignorance. (Yes!.. even knowledge is not for the weak hearted as knowing and perceiving can hurt, and so it can be a vice rather than virtue to possess {if you value peace more} unless you are emotionally strong enough).
Recently I saw the movie ‘A beautiful life’ which shows how a father helps his son through a war. He does not reveal to him that it is a real war going on around him, rather he says that it is a game and for all the precautions that he makes his son take, he tells him that there are points, and the more points he makes, the more the chances of winning the game. The result is that the son survives the war … totally emotionally unscathed! The imperfect situation of war was converted into a beautiful game. Isn’t that how we should deal with all the imperfections within and around us….closing our mind to its interpretation as an imperfection and seeing it rather as that factor which makes life the beautiful game it really is.
So cheers to my imperfections, as that is what makes me what I am. Peace or no peace, valued or not valued, understood or not understood, tolerated or not tolerated, I am still perfect in my imperfections.
I too appreciate people according to their sincerity, not perfection as I genuinely feel perfection is totally overrated. Imperfection is quite obviously the real nature, beauty and individuality of everything that constitutes the perceived world and perfection could actually make the world too predictable and so boring. So everything is really hopelessly and ……actually thankfully …. flawed.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Taking Calculated Risks
"Fear of Danger is ten thousand times more terrifying than Danger itself" Daniel Defoe
But it is important to take 'calculated' risks. There is no denying that the environment we live in today is very polluted. The air we breathe, the food we eat, the cosmetics we use etc are all taking away years from our lives...
But we forget that at the same time the immense progress made in medicine, discovery of cures and prevention for formerly fatal diseases(like TB)...all this has added years to our life...
In the year 1900, the average life expectancy of the world was 30yrs, and by 1985 it was 62yrs. Now 2010 estimate stands at 67 years.
What I am intending to say is we have an extra 30 or so years gifted by developments in science.... then is it really important to be paranoid about the toxins that we take in? We may increase say two years to our life by the care we take to keep away the toxins...like...not buying grapes and apples fearing they are coated with pesticides, scared of the white cauliflower (must be dipped in Malathion) scared of even medicines and supplements knowing that they too contain preservatives that could be very harmful, could possibly accumulate in tissues, not using any cosmetics at all, worried about the chlorine in the swimming pool, the UV at noon....But look at it this way...Don't we reduce comparatively, say four years from our life by the paranoia and stress concerned with all the caution and care! Aren't we thus compromising on the joys of life and added years in life that can come only from being a bit care free? Not a good deal..is it? Isn't it then better to adopt the midway...that is even use 'caution' in moderation?
So lets be careful .... but lets also not overdo it. Lets take reasonable care but lets also be reasonably carefree.......
Friday, August 27, 2010
The climate characteristic!
Having lived in a number of climatic conditions...like parts of punjab, bengal, rajasthan, ..and having seen the peculiarities of the people of each region, I have been drawing conclusions which have finally taken a definite form in my mind with my recent visit to another of the regions in maharashra. I am putting the view down finally in words.
In Kottayam, I have often felt that it's particular kind of heat can get to the head. Recently I have been wondering whether heat, head, and high rate of suicides in kerala have any link? Can a type of heat make one feel more suicidal than just the push of circumstances.
The peculiarly unrelenting dry heat of some regions (heat even in evenings) also can effect adversely the intelligence of the people of those regions and so I doubt it can make people dumb (especially the poorer sections which stay outdoors more often or lack a good house.
Whereas some other regions like in Jodhpur, I have felt that the cooler evening air gifts a calming peace on the people of the region, making them quite easy going.
One obvious thing is that people of different regions share similar physical charecteristics, language and even some similarities in terms of their natures. Having stayed in many regions I have experienced that I have been different too in each region. Some of it I accord to my age at each place...but I couldn't strike out the possibility of climatic characters effecting me.
People of some region show vigour and zest for life whereas another region may show a lazy and careless attitude, while others of some regions are very serious and proper about life. In some regions people show lack of depth. They show love and friendliness but it is merely like a surface reflex, whereas their innermost feelings are not fathomable by their surface expressions and behaviour.
One of the biggest blessings in life is staying in different places. It is like opening a new and different window of the mind at each place and becoming open minded, understanding and accepting.
People who have moved around in their formative years are the people who show more rounded personalities. People who have all their life stayed in one place are less accommodating.
Then think of climate change and how it can effect the general civilization! Climate holds more secret powers than we have cared to notice. History, the present and the future have been shaped and is shaped by some known ways and some even unimagined ways by the powerful forces of climate...I am sure.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Clean Body, Clean Mind (Equilibrium 4)
I have concluded onto a midway to a spiritual existence, and called it 'Equilibrium'. It means knowing and living as the spiritual self without rejecting the physical self. Equilibrium is a balancing act which means not denying emotions but only distancing oneself from it (as a witness).
To elucidate I take an example from the earlier blog- love of someone leads to sorrow when the loved one departs. These (love or attachment and sorrow) are two sides of the same coin. To deny or disown sorrow is to hide it inside the body, which then shows up as emotional or physical diseases. To 'distance' from sorrow is to grieve without loosing awareness that the world is illusory and everything is just a play and we are acting a part. Reflect that actors have to feel the pain of the charecter to play the role well but they are always aware that they are not the charecter. On the other hand if they do not identify with the charecter they will spoil their role.
So also we have to be aware without spoiling the role we are playing. Also, without twists and turns a story is boring...so also life is boring without people to interact with, consequently differences, problems and solutions. Moreover it is the process of problem solving that leads to personal growth which is the noble purpose of life.
Equilibrium is therefore living a normal life, accepting the presence of emotions, be it negative like hate and jealousy, thinking through or discussing with someone close and thus respectively breaking down the negative emotions (detoxifying) or/and removing it(venting) whichever suits or is more helpful to the person. To maintain equilibrium this is a very crucial process of 'cleaning the body' of toxins or biproducts(bad emotions) and retaining the good produce(healthy and helpful conclusions) of every thinking process that each life event leads to.
Equilibrium may involve cycles or lets say "fluctuations from the mean" followed in response to the awareness that fluctuations are to accepted to eventually reach stability. Fluctuation could mean knowing when to act and when to let go. On another level it could mean cycles that is a period of attachment followed by detachment; a worldly phase intermittent to the spiritual phase etc in response to the awareness of one's self. Therefore equilibrium can be called a state of fluctuating mean. Though equilibrium is a rational and realistic approach and so a seemingly easy approach, it has its share of things to practice
1 Associate with events but find pockets of time to dissociate from them
2 Remember to smile and celebrate the differences and incompatibility with other people (even through the frowning), realizing that these are the catalysts to personal growth and are secrets to an interesting life; and being aware that an isolated life or life with clones of self would be so... boring......, to say the least
3 To express ones own mind and differences but then remember not to brood or bother about it. At some point say 'CUT' and 'can'(dissociate from) the shot.
To elucidate I take an example from the earlier blog- love of someone leads to sorrow when the loved one departs. These (love or attachment and sorrow) are two sides of the same coin. To deny or disown sorrow is to hide it inside the body, which then shows up as emotional or physical diseases. To 'distance' from sorrow is to grieve without loosing awareness that the world is illusory and everything is just a play and we are acting a part. Reflect that actors have to feel the pain of the charecter to play the role well but they are always aware that they are not the charecter. On the other hand if they do not identify with the charecter they will spoil their role.
So also we have to be aware without spoiling the role we are playing. Also, without twists and turns a story is boring...so also life is boring without people to interact with, consequently differences, problems and solutions. Moreover it is the process of problem solving that leads to personal growth which is the noble purpose of life.
Equilibrium is therefore living a normal life, accepting the presence of emotions, be it negative like hate and jealousy, thinking through or discussing with someone close and thus respectively breaking down the negative emotions (detoxifying) or/and removing it(venting) whichever suits or is more helpful to the person. To maintain equilibrium this is a very crucial process of 'cleaning the body' of toxins or biproducts(bad emotions) and retaining the good produce(healthy and helpful conclusions) of every thinking process that each life event leads to.
Equilibrium may involve cycles or lets say "fluctuations from the mean" followed in response to the awareness that fluctuations are to accepted to eventually reach stability. Fluctuation could mean knowing when to act and when to let go. On another level it could mean cycles that is a period of attachment followed by detachment; a worldly phase intermittent to the spiritual phase etc in response to the awareness of one's self. Therefore equilibrium can be called a state of fluctuating mean. Though equilibrium is a rational and realistic approach and so a seemingly easy approach, it has its share of things to practice
1 Associate with events but find pockets of time to dissociate from them
2 Remember to smile and celebrate the differences and incompatibility with other people (even through the frowning), realizing that these are the catalysts to personal growth and are secrets to an interesting life; and being aware that an isolated life or life with clones of self would be so... boring......, to say the least
3 To express ones own mind and differences but then remember not to brood or bother about it. At some point say 'CUT' and 'can'(dissociate from) the shot.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Austerity Vs Equilibrium (equilibrium 3)
I have read by now four of the 'Nine Lives' by William Dalrymple. The very first one 'The Nun's tale' was very moving and disturbed me enough to want to blog down to organise my thought.
It is the tale of Prasannamati Mataji, a Jain Monk, who leaves her family and an easy life, in her teens and adopts the austere life of a Monk. One of the main principles of Jainism is to give up all attachment as attachment is suffering. And so she willingly gives up family, wealth, possessions, adopts fasting, walking barefoot, all this in an effort to shed the last attachment to the world... and yet unknowingly she forms one attachment with her friend and companion for 20 years (Jain nuns travel in pairs), Prayogamati. Her friend fell sick and took a ritual fast to death (Sallekhana) leaving Prasannamati Mataji terribly sad and lonely. In fact she cried at her death which is not allowed in jain monks! Later on she also decides to take Sallekhana...and even wonders about the possibility of meeting her friend in some future birth!(The aim of the austere life of Monks is to escape the world)
I have often been wonderstruck by the routine of the Jain monks specifically how they try to avoid harming all life forms and for that even fanning away insects before they place each step, covering their nose to avoid breathing in microorganisms, not travelling in vehicles as insects are killed under the impact of the tyres. I cannot help but consider it as consciously adopting the 'obsessive compulsive behaviour', in terms of non violence.
But ofcourse if adopting such an attitude helps to create a permanant state of compassion for all life...it might be worth it?
But then if compassion is desirable how can sorrow be undesirable? If the crushing of an insect under the feet did not bring sorrow, then there is no meaning to being compassionate and being particular about not destroying any life. And so I can't understand the logic behind encouraging love and compassion and discouraging sorrow and tears. Prasannamati mataji could have supressed her tears but would that mean she is not saddened by her friend's death whom she loved?
The Human system cannot be denied its existence. It has the luxury of experiencing all 'good' emotions and it comes with the price of being able to experience the so called bad emotions as well. It is just not possible to accept one and deny the other as they are two sides of the same coin.
Despite the Mataji's lifelong practice in austerity, living a life with no comforts, she unknowingly had the comfort of a good friend who could understand her and be a companion for 20 years. It reminds me of how the Titanic was made to be 'the unsinkable' but still found a reason to sink...
I cannot help but conclude that of all the various approaches to spirituality, the best way (or the most logical way) has to be the midway (equilibrium). Because, in the search of the spirit, is it really possible to ignore the life, the emotions that we are meant to experience.
We can at most understand ourselves as merely witness to the emotions, but can we really be without emotions...rather should we really be without emotions?
It is the tale of Prasannamati Mataji, a Jain Monk, who leaves her family and an easy life, in her teens and adopts the austere life of a Monk. One of the main principles of Jainism is to give up all attachment as attachment is suffering. And so she willingly gives up family, wealth, possessions, adopts fasting, walking barefoot, all this in an effort to shed the last attachment to the world... and yet unknowingly she forms one attachment with her friend and companion for 20 years (Jain nuns travel in pairs), Prayogamati. Her friend fell sick and took a ritual fast to death (Sallekhana) leaving Prasannamati Mataji terribly sad and lonely. In fact she cried at her death which is not allowed in jain monks! Later on she also decides to take Sallekhana...and even wonders about the possibility of meeting her friend in some future birth!(The aim of the austere life of Monks is to escape the world)
I have often been wonderstruck by the routine of the Jain monks specifically how they try to avoid harming all life forms and for that even fanning away insects before they place each step, covering their nose to avoid breathing in microorganisms, not travelling in vehicles as insects are killed under the impact of the tyres. I cannot help but consider it as consciously adopting the 'obsessive compulsive behaviour', in terms of non violence.
But ofcourse if adopting such an attitude helps to create a permanant state of compassion for all life...it might be worth it?
But then if compassion is desirable how can sorrow be undesirable? If the crushing of an insect under the feet did not bring sorrow, then there is no meaning to being compassionate and being particular about not destroying any life. And so I can't understand the logic behind encouraging love and compassion and discouraging sorrow and tears. Prasannamati mataji could have supressed her tears but would that mean she is not saddened by her friend's death whom she loved?
The Human system cannot be denied its existence. It has the luxury of experiencing all 'good' emotions and it comes with the price of being able to experience the so called bad emotions as well. It is just not possible to accept one and deny the other as they are two sides of the same coin.
Despite the Mataji's lifelong practice in austerity, living a life with no comforts, she unknowingly had the comfort of a good friend who could understand her and be a companion for 20 years. It reminds me of how the Titanic was made to be 'the unsinkable' but still found a reason to sink...
I cannot help but conclude that of all the various approaches to spirituality, the best way (or the most logical way) has to be the midway (equilibrium). Because, in the search of the spirit, is it really possible to ignore the life, the emotions that we are meant to experience.
We can at most understand ourselves as merely witness to the emotions, but can we really be without emotions...rather should we really be without emotions?
Monday, May 10, 2010
The spiritual cycle (Equilibrium 2)
I finally read the much heard about book, 'Men are from Mars and women are from Venus'. I wasn't really expecting to discover anything new but I was taken aback by how much I really didn't know!
Men have an intimacy cycle! That is they require periods of intimacy(with their partner) followed by periods of independence. Women get upset when men enter the independence phase (which is like going into a cave) thinking they must have done something wrong to make him want to be alone, and so try to prevent the man from going into this phase. But...they (women) don't realize that to again feel the need for intimacy men need their time out with their own self! Lack of periods of independence sort of contaminates their intimacy phase.
The book also says that women are like waves. When she does get a listening ear to express any (say) hurt feelings, she will in fact seem to get more upset until she hits the bottom of her wave(trough) and then her mood gets better and better and reaches normalcy(crest). But her issues may still not be resolved and in a few days her mood may again go down. This happens a few times before each issue is totally resolved and she can be centered again!
It is obvious from the above explanations, that without pulling away for a period, a man will only keep feeling a distance (from his partner), whereas without expressing her very lowest feelings in phases, a women can not hope for an eventual or total release from her troubling issues.
Reflecting on what I learnt from the book I realised that all things and beings in nature...'simply everything' has a cycle. Night day, ebb flow, heat rain, joy sorrow, life death....cycles are true for earth and for earthlings. But it still really amazed me to discover why men and women behave as they do. It is because ..like everything in nature, their behaviour is also governed by cycles! Obviously then, the right thing to do is allow all sorts of cyclic behaviors rather than resist them...until equilibrum (or centering) comes naturally.
It now becomes easier to understand the spiritual pull on human kind as well. The human being is both a body and a spirit. We have both, the pulling to be the body and the pull to be the spirit. And so it becomes clear (from above examples of the need to respect the different pulls or phases) that to experience growth in our spiritual self, it becomes just as much necessary for us to respect(allow/enjoy) our physical self (not just our spiritual self).
If we don't allow ourselves to be Human we only end up contaminating our Spirituality as well. Take the simplest of examples- if a person in search of one's spiritual self (also called true self) does not retaliate to injustices (to self) like verbal insults; in an attempt to practice being spiritual (be without ego identification with the body), eventually his/her spirituality only gets contaminated, because the suppressed ego escapes into the spiritual practice! That is, rather than enjoy being the spirit, he/she would rather try to show off that, 'I am spiritual, I am above all your foolishness'! This is sneaky expression of Ego. Ninety percent of what he/she says will be Ego boosting (showing off) and ten percent 'could' be real spiritual content. That is, spiritual expression will also in disguise be only the very human... 'ego expression'.
And so, I am of the opinion that, the proper approach to spirituality is to let the need to be Human, the need to feel good about oneself ( about the body or Humanness) diminish at its own pace, with the spirit growing more and more in power by phases of total attention to spirituality(spirit) intermittent with attention to the ego (body) . And so..even spirituality is to be approached in its own turn on the cycle (by the beginning seeker)....And there is no need to fear the darker phases as the phase that is more fulfilling will always win eventually
Men have an intimacy cycle! That is they require periods of intimacy(with their partner) followed by periods of independence. Women get upset when men enter the independence phase (which is like going into a cave) thinking they must have done something wrong to make him want to be alone, and so try to prevent the man from going into this phase. But...they (women) don't realize that to again feel the need for intimacy men need their time out with their own self! Lack of periods of independence sort of contaminates their intimacy phase.
The book also says that women are like waves. When she does get a listening ear to express any (say) hurt feelings, she will in fact seem to get more upset until she hits the bottom of her wave(trough) and then her mood gets better and better and reaches normalcy(crest). But her issues may still not be resolved and in a few days her mood may again go down. This happens a few times before each issue is totally resolved and she can be centered again!
It is obvious from the above explanations, that without pulling away for a period, a man will only keep feeling a distance (from his partner), whereas without expressing her very lowest feelings in phases, a women can not hope for an eventual or total release from her troubling issues.
Reflecting on what I learnt from the book I realised that all things and beings in nature...'simply everything' has a cycle. Night day, ebb flow, heat rain, joy sorrow, life death....cycles are true for earth and for earthlings. But it still really amazed me to discover why men and women behave as they do. It is because ..like everything in nature, their behaviour is also governed by cycles! Obviously then, the right thing to do is allow all sorts of cyclic behaviors rather than resist them...until equilibrum (or centering) comes naturally.
It now becomes easier to understand the spiritual pull on human kind as well. The human being is both a body and a spirit. We have both, the pulling to be the body and the pull to be the spirit. And so it becomes clear (from above examples of the need to respect the different pulls or phases) that to experience growth in our spiritual self, it becomes just as much necessary for us to respect(allow/enjoy) our physical self (not just our spiritual self).
If we don't allow ourselves to be Human we only end up contaminating our Spirituality as well. Take the simplest of examples- if a person in search of one's spiritual self (also called true self) does not retaliate to injustices (to self) like verbal insults; in an attempt to practice being spiritual (be without ego identification with the body), eventually his/her spirituality only gets contaminated, because the suppressed ego escapes into the spiritual practice! That is, rather than enjoy being the spirit, he/she would rather try to show off that, 'I am spiritual, I am above all your foolishness'! This is sneaky expression of Ego. Ninety percent of what he/she says will be Ego boosting (showing off) and ten percent 'could' be real spiritual content. That is, spiritual expression will also in disguise be only the very human... 'ego expression'.
And so, I am of the opinion that, the proper approach to spirituality is to let the need to be Human, the need to feel good about oneself ( about the body or Humanness) diminish at its own pace, with the spirit growing more and more in power by phases of total attention to spirituality(spirit) intermittent with attention to the ego (body) . And so..even spirituality is to be approached in its own turn on the cycle (by the beginning seeker)....And there is no need to fear the darker phases as the phase that is more fulfilling will always win eventually
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Equilibrium
Part 1- Intro
I really can't accept that because I believe that recognizing the inner self (higher self) should not require us to deny existence to our body! After all, the Higher self 'chose' to be in a body, then how can it totally ignore the existence of the body and its emotions!
The other book is about ‘the law of attraction’ It says that 'if we are feeling negative, we draw negative experiences. Therefore to bring all our desire’s to fulfillment, we should make sure we are always feeling good. Whenever we feel bad, we should shift to thinking something good so that we can feel good and draw good.' But then what about resolving issues that are making us feel negative! Moreover isn't it Life and often negative circumstances that lead the body, the false self, to search for better (lasting) or rather Higher solutions and so leads it to recognize the Higher self within. Why should then one prefer a particular circumstance over other? Rather one should let the body lead itself in whatever way to complete and lasting self discovery.
It was while I was shuffling with dissatisfaction between these two books, hoping to somehow finish them, that I happened to see the movie Equilibrium. It has made it to my favourite movies list (inspite of violence and a little lack in logic) because it reflected my point of view and satisfied me. The story is about a step taken to prevent another world war. It is decided that the root cause of war is man’s ability to feel. So to remove anger, jealousy and hate, a medicine is taken by the human race which make them emotionless. The price of this is that they don’t feel the good emotions either, but atleast there is no war and the human race is preserved. But the question is what are they living for? Just to carry forward the race? Finally the conclusion of the story is, 'Emotions are not the cause of war. Emotions are a gift that makes life worth living and not a mere existence. The cause of war is the lack of skills to manage emotions. It is when not managed, that the gift becomes chaos'.
The question now is only how to manage the emotions? Only when we recognize that we are actually a part of the infinite and that the body and its emotions are instruments to us that we would try to objectively learn about this instrument without ego association with the instrument. We would then recognize correctly its strong points and weak points and use it as an instrument. But still… 'I' am here within it to use it, not to let it gather dust just because this emotion charged instrument is not me! Fine, it is not me, but it is mine, and it is in my hand to be used….correctly.
When the instrument experiences the negative emotions, we would try to solve its problems in ways that suit it’s make. Sometimes it may require recognizing the futility or stupidity of an emotional reaction and so ‘letting go’ of it. But at other times, it involves understanding a reaction and the need for a proper immediate action and so requires just ‘letting be’, under ‘Higher supervision’.
I told this to someone but my idea was dismissed as lower understanding and I was provided with a book ‘ Practicing the power of now’ by Eckhart Tolle (especially to thwart my belief in possibility of destiny). I began reading it and quite amazingly I find it infact seconding what I believe!
I quote-‘To relinquish judgement does not mean that you do not recognize dysfunction…when you see it. …….You will then either be totally free of reaction or you may react and still be the knowing, the space in which the reaction is watched and allowed to be.’
Also I quote, 'There are cycles of success...and there are cycles of failure....The down cycle is absolutely essential for spiritual realization.' Also, 'when you have reached a certain degree of presence, you don't need negativity anymore to tell you what is needed in your life situations. But as long as negativity is there, use it. Use it as a kind of signal that reminds you to be more present.'
These words in this particular book reflected my thoughts in quite the exact words!
And so I am assured and can affirm that I believe that Being the True self is not always about ignoring negativity around and within. For Example spirituality is not about letting other people abuse you with their words or actions, just because the higher self is not supposed to be affected! Rather, being the true self is often acknowledging the feeling of the body and using the accumulated wisdom and understanding of the brain and also the intuition of the heart to carry through the body's reaction. Being the true self is not about going to the other extreme. It is all about recognizing the other extreme but arriving at the right equilibrium of an awakened spirit living a whole and fulfilled life within a body.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
