I have been learning and trying to incorporate the new age 'etiquettes' for some time now, and nothing helps me incorporate lessons better than writing it down.
1. If you dont like something dont say it, just forget to do something that you usually do.
2.If questioned dont tell the truth that it was because you were hurt, just say you forgot. You avoid an issue but make your statement without actually making any.
3. It is cool to ignore some statements of the other person
4. It is cool to answer only one question, when you are asked two.
5. It is cool to look busy when the other person is trying to talk to you.
The old world was well mannered and truthful and genuine, but if you are that way today you would not be respected! No, I am not being sarcastic. If you find old world people like yourself, be as you are, but when you see the slightest hint of a new age personality and you want to be respected, then be of the new world or else...it really can get frustrating and you might end up gettin hurt!
Soon the new age person will come round and try being sweet to you, BUTdont soften and revert to the original you. The new age is deceptive and selfish. Dont let down your guard, be selfish, keep carrying through your new age plan, keep looking out. ......if you hate being hit when you are not looking!
PS: It's a different world all around today, and it is wise to adapt. I only mean that; 'When in Rome do as the Romans do'. I dont mean at all that being Roman is good. Adapting will help protect your interests (which hopefully are good and important enough!)
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Saturday, March 27, 2010
God, and the parent
Why is it that the power we call God is often considered as a parent? Is it merely because this power is responsible for creation, or is it because in many intriguing and astounding ways, this unseen power is directing us by a complicated enmeshed set of guidelines.
While I was studying a course in creative teaching, I was taught about different ways of helping a child develop the right attitudes. I had thought then that when I have my own kids I would use the same techniques. But I realized the hard way that being a parent 24/7 does not give time to think and use techniques! The real parent often just reacts rather than proacts, and it just gets worse when you have more than one to handle!
But when I look at how God works in each of our individual lives, he does seem to be using all those creative techniques and even has patience for each and every living being!
Let me give examples. When a child does something wrong, rather than slapping or caning, the teacher/parent is supposed to use ‘consequences’. ‘If you don’t keep back your toys today, you wont get to play with them tomorrow’. That’s a simple example of consequence. But I find even that very difficult to apply! I may quite easily use that statement today but tomorrow when my child pesters me with constant chatter just when I am trying to relax with a book, what do I do!? ‘Go and play with the toys’ That’s what I would end up saying!
But the power behind the universe called ‘God’, uses consequences without fail for every act that every individual does. ‘The Law of Karma’ is nothing but the ‘technique of consequence’. God never punishes us; rather our actions catch up on us.
One interesting creative technique of teaching was ‘being a scaffold’. For example if a child asks a question, don’t give the answer right away. Wonder with the child, ask leading questions which he/she can answer and lead by small rungs to the final answer. This is to help the child think on his own.
“Give a man a fish, he will have something to eat, but teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.”
But as a parent of a ‘gemini’ child who even thinks aloud in words and questions, I often find myself just irritatedly snapping at questions!
But God has the patience to use the technique effectively for each and every individual! Now really how much patience would that require!!
Whenever seeking for answers of any sort, all of us would have noted the coincidences in life that seemingly are unrelated to our question or goal, but after a long winding way, or little rungs of success, we suddenly find ourselves somewhere that is in some queer way linked to our state of mind or questions about a couple of years(or more) ago. That is how God works; never dropping things into our lap as answer to every silly prayer, but gently guiding us to a state of mind where our prayers are more meaningful and answers are just over the next rung.
God is an unseen parent but is so much more efficient than any well meaning visible human parent! And for all the damage that parents can do to kids by bad parenting, God can reverse it and bring something good out of it. Don’t children of insensitive parents sometimes think through it all and learn the importance of being sensitive and become better people than they would have otherwise been? Their lonely life often forces them to turn to the one real perfect parent of all…, the God Parent, and learn His ways.
God does intend us to realise eventually that what we are looking for, is often perfection and that is not in the world, its only in His Love...
While I was studying a course in creative teaching, I was taught about different ways of helping a child develop the right attitudes. I had thought then that when I have my own kids I would use the same techniques. But I realized the hard way that being a parent 24/7 does not give time to think and use techniques! The real parent often just reacts rather than proacts, and it just gets worse when you have more than one to handle!
But when I look at how God works in each of our individual lives, he does seem to be using all those creative techniques and even has patience for each and every living being!
Let me give examples. When a child does something wrong, rather than slapping or caning, the teacher/parent is supposed to use ‘consequences’. ‘If you don’t keep back your toys today, you wont get to play with them tomorrow’. That’s a simple example of consequence. But I find even that very difficult to apply! I may quite easily use that statement today but tomorrow when my child pesters me with constant chatter just when I am trying to relax with a book, what do I do!? ‘Go and play with the toys’ That’s what I would end up saying!
But the power behind the universe called ‘God’, uses consequences without fail for every act that every individual does. ‘The Law of Karma’ is nothing but the ‘technique of consequence’. God never punishes us; rather our actions catch up on us.
One interesting creative technique of teaching was ‘being a scaffold’. For example if a child asks a question, don’t give the answer right away. Wonder with the child, ask leading questions which he/she can answer and lead by small rungs to the final answer. This is to help the child think on his own.
“Give a man a fish, he will have something to eat, but teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.”
But as a parent of a ‘gemini’ child who even thinks aloud in words and questions, I often find myself just irritatedly snapping at questions!
But God has the patience to use the technique effectively for each and every individual! Now really how much patience would that require!!
Whenever seeking for answers of any sort, all of us would have noted the coincidences in life that seemingly are unrelated to our question or goal, but after a long winding way, or little rungs of success, we suddenly find ourselves somewhere that is in some queer way linked to our state of mind or questions about a couple of years(or more) ago. That is how God works; never dropping things into our lap as answer to every silly prayer, but gently guiding us to a state of mind where our prayers are more meaningful and answers are just over the next rung.
God is an unseen parent but is so much more efficient than any well meaning visible human parent! And for all the damage that parents can do to kids by bad parenting, God can reverse it and bring something good out of it. Don’t children of insensitive parents sometimes think through it all and learn the importance of being sensitive and become better people than they would have otherwise been? Their lonely life often forces them to turn to the one real perfect parent of all…, the God Parent, and learn His ways.
God does intend us to realise eventually that what we are looking for, is often perfection and that is not in the world, its only in His Love...
Saturday, March 13, 2010
The good from sin?
I heard 'The Prodigal Son' in church last Sunday! The story (a briefing for those who perchance may not know the story) is that of a man who had two sons. His younger son asked for his share of property and went away with it to explore the world. But soon he squandered all the wealth and was short of money. So he began to work as a hired help feeding pigs! He came to his senses realizing that he had forsaken his father’s love; for in his father’s house even hired men had food to spare! The story goes that he returned and asked forgiveness from his father and said he would work as a slave as he did not deserve to be called his son. His father on the other hand was overjoyed and celebrated his return. But this made the elder son angry and he complained that though he had been an obedient son, never once had his father been as extravagant on him. The father then explained that it is because of the joy of having found a son who had been lost.
On hearing the story again I was just wondering with a little boredom as to how many times since childhood would I have heard a sermon on this topic, when the priest said something that made me pay attention. He said that unless we have fallen into sin and repent and require forgiveness, how would we learn the importance of forgiving. This statement woke me from my half sleep and it suddenly brought into my mind the story of the book (play) 'Lady Windmere's fan' by Oscar Wilde. I had liked it because of a similar message it had held. A woman falls into sin (due to some miscommunication) and loses a lot in life because of that and realizes her blunder.
Later she finds out about her grown up daughter who happens to be in the same position 'of being about to fall into the pit' and rescues her from making the same mistake as her. And then is shared a profound wisdom by the author! I remember the words only vaguely, but he meant, 'that those who have fallen and are considered ‘low’ in society are often better people (than the good people of society who have never committed a serious mistake) because they know where the pits are and are so much wiser because of it and are also in a position to warn and prevent 'the good people' from committing the same mistakes. Their example and experience is what guides the 'good' to remain 'good'....
The basic message of ‘the prodigal son' was skipped in my mind and new messages unfolded! It is true that I have heard 'the prodigal son' around a thousand times since childhood; yet I realized another aspect of its meaning in church today. Wasn't the prodigal son repentant, meek and humble in the end when he returns to his father? And wasn't the son who never ever sinned (never left his father or disobeyed him) arrogant, unforgiving, jealous and too proud of being 'good'!
No doubt, as the priest said, "God sometimes allows us to go away from him"....... so we can come back as better people than what we were as obedient sons!
On hearing the story again I was just wondering with a little boredom as to how many times since childhood would I have heard a sermon on this topic, when the priest said something that made me pay attention. He said that unless we have fallen into sin and repent and require forgiveness, how would we learn the importance of forgiving. This statement woke me from my half sleep and it suddenly brought into my mind the story of the book (play) 'Lady Windmere's fan' by Oscar Wilde. I had liked it because of a similar message it had held. A woman falls into sin (due to some miscommunication) and loses a lot in life because of that and realizes her blunder.
Later she finds out about her grown up daughter who happens to be in the same position 'of being about to fall into the pit' and rescues her from making the same mistake as her. And then is shared a profound wisdom by the author! I remember the words only vaguely, but he meant, 'that those who have fallen and are considered ‘low’ in society are often better people (than the good people of society who have never committed a serious mistake) because they know where the pits are and are so much wiser because of it and are also in a position to warn and prevent 'the good people' from committing the same mistakes. Their example and experience is what guides the 'good' to remain 'good'....
The basic message of ‘the prodigal son' was skipped in my mind and new messages unfolded! It is true that I have heard 'the prodigal son' around a thousand times since childhood; yet I realized another aspect of its meaning in church today. Wasn't the prodigal son repentant, meek and humble in the end when he returns to his father? And wasn't the son who never ever sinned (never left his father or disobeyed him) arrogant, unforgiving, jealous and too proud of being 'good'!
No doubt, as the priest said, "God sometimes allows us to go away from him"....... so we can come back as better people than what we were as obedient sons!
Friday, March 5, 2010
When one door closes...
When one door closes...another door opens?
Or could it be that when we are single mindedly pursuing one particular door and ignoring the other doors which are more proper for us at that stage, the door we are heading towards closes on our face? We can cry forever at the door or wait forever for it to open, or we could just look around at the other door that was always there, but only now was brought into focus.
I have been thinking...we should be so thankful that there is a power greater than the power of our Focus, that closes the doors we are focussed on. And we should be so thankful to all the doors that close on us. The Negative is just a pricking nudge towards the positive. If we could always look around and choose the best door against our nature to focus on one and become content with it(often beyond it's duration of usefulness), then probably we might never have needed closed doors.
Each person with his/her own particular nature needs his/her own miseries for his/her own good. Knowing this as true is essential sometimes, so we can force ourselves to look around, as sometimes we just can't look away, from our favourite door...
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Lathmaar Holi
A few hours ago, I heard some comments on TV by women of Barsana, the birth place of Radha and the place where Lathmaar Holi originated. In this form of Holi women thrash the men with sticks! The women folk of the region were saying that 'Men don't really respect women, the way Krishna respected Radha. There are no such men as Krishna, and for men, women are merely 'use and throw'. Lathmaar Holi is really an opportunity for the women to take out their frustration and resentment against the men. Even children are allowed this day to hurl abuses at the Men.' These statements from the women made me realize that Lathmaar Holi is really therapeutic for women!
The regular holi with colours is fun and freedom, but this is really therapy, sort of like play therapy. Here the hidden anger and resentment against men is taken out. It is true, I feel women do Hide from their real feelings about men.
Their statements also reminded me of a reality show where a woman breaks off from her boyfriend and throws away the engagement ring in anger and both walk away from each other. But then it is the woman who seeing that he is not coming after her to explain himself, turns and goes after him meekly requesting him to explain everything away. Everything that she heard and saw. All that she had overheard him say about 'not caring a damn about her'. Women just can't face reality. How can they trust their own ears, their eyes and their brain when it could make them loose their desire to live. They find it better to hold on to imagined reality than loose the desire to live. Understandable.
And so I respect the person who started the Lathmaar Holi, to bring out hidden anger resentment and frustration and give healing to the women folk. Was it Krishna? Or was it some other Man? If it was some normal Man, then I am amazed at the care!Can a normal man really care so much for the health of women? Well, women are needed to take care of the household, and their health is vital for the health of the family. Now, that care becomes understandable!
The regular holi with colours is fun and freedom, but this is really therapy, sort of like play therapy. Here the hidden anger and resentment against men is taken out. It is true, I feel women do Hide from their real feelings about men.
Their statements also reminded me of a reality show where a woman breaks off from her boyfriend and throws away the engagement ring in anger and both walk away from each other. But then it is the woman who seeing that he is not coming after her to explain himself, turns and goes after him meekly requesting him to explain everything away. Everything that she heard and saw. All that she had overheard him say about 'not caring a damn about her'. Women just can't face reality. How can they trust their own ears, their eyes and their brain when it could make them loose their desire to live. They find it better to hold on to imagined reality than loose the desire to live. Understandable.
And so I respect the person who started the Lathmaar Holi, to bring out hidden anger resentment and frustration and give healing to the women folk. Was it Krishna? Or was it some other Man? If it was some normal Man, then I am amazed at the care!Can a normal man really care so much for the health of women? Well, women are needed to take care of the household, and their health is vital for the health of the family. Now, that care becomes understandable!
Monday, February 15, 2010
To Market or Not to Market?
In todays world, the above question is almost the same as the question, 'to be or not to be'! Blame it on the immense population, the enormous pool of talent, the increasing number of choices in every aspect, that only if marketed well 'I or my value' may 'be' or else just 'not be'!
Many times I have surprised myself by being guilty of the very things I have been at one time very sure that 'I am not capable of''! In 2002, march I wrote in my diary, 'When we have doubts about ourselves we show off whatever little we have. When we are sure of our riches, we can afford to be simple. Yes, marketing could put me off. But today, the world belongs more often to the 'glittering' and less often to the 'substance'.
And so in 2007 after my first attempt at publishing which failed, one of the many reasons being that 'because I have not officially studied Theology', I put it in my blog. When that didn't attract many readers, I tried to get it published again another two times. With the third rejection, my faith in my book has matured and trust in the publishing industry has diminished. Maybe they would prefer more attention seeking controversy creating books, not one that intends to dispell controversies and contradictions. I am happy I discovered blogdom on the way as it gives me a unique freedom to express. But maybe my Book is stiffled most probably under the growing load of my own posts and so I have entered twitterdom to freshly market my book and now even blog. All unapologetically.
From politicians, to actors to authors...all are willy nilly marketing themselves, their products or their ideologies. But they are people in the limelight, then why the need to market!? I guess there is such a crowd in even the limelight that each has to sound the 'tom tom' to be noticed.
But then there are also the militant groups who have been anxious that they are not in the papers for over 14 months and so right away just burst a bomb to remind everybody that they exist!
But then there are also the militant groups who have been anxious that they are not in the papers for over 14 months and so right away just burst a bomb to remind everybody that they exist!
I am anguished, 'why kill life just 'to be', as they achieve nothing but death. It won't destroy the Nation's Spirit. It will only grow more united, I trust that . Then why ? Just'to be'? So much better then 'not to be'!?
It's the most cowardly way to come forward.
My 2002 notes are not outdated yet. Empty vessels make much noise. Please fill yourselves with genuine purposes.
A Valentine-For the Loved or the unloved?
Valentine day is named after St. Valentine. I read, that St. Valentine a PRIEST, supported love, romance and marriage and performed marriages in a time in Rome when Marriage had been outlawed! He was also a sort of pen friend to a young blind girl, being a light in her darkness. In his last letter to her, before his execution, he addressed himself as 'your Valentine'.
Valentine day, a day of celebration of love, is not just for couples, it's about being there for all the lonely souls, it;s about being there for oneself.
There might be so many lonely folk on a valentine day! They might not even be lucky enough to get a good soul like 'St. Valentine as a friend in their loneliness, but someone they should always have is their own selves. Is that easy? If it were, there would be no suicides ever! Whatever the reason for suicides, the basic reason is that one forgets to love ones own self! Everybody in the world may be pointing at our faults, but each of us is a temple of God. The first duty of every person is towards one's own self, to discover one's own potential that nobody else has a duty to notice; a duty to love oneself. in a world where nobody else may show the capability to truly love another.
There might be so many lonely folk on a valentine day! They might not even be lucky enough to get a good soul like 'St. Valentine as a friend in their loneliness, but someone they should always have is their own selves. Is that easy? If it were, there would be no suicides ever! Whatever the reason for suicides, the basic reason is that one forgets to love ones own self! Everybody in the world may be pointing at our faults, but each of us is a temple of God. The first duty of every person is towards one's own self, to discover one's own potential that nobody else has a duty to notice; a duty to love oneself. in a world where nobody else may show the capability to truly love another.
So, I write a poem dedicated to all those who might have often found themselves lonely on Valentine day
MY BEST VALENTINE
It's a day of Love, a day to give
A day of friendship, joy to live
But first I have a Heart of Mine!
I treat it well, my Valentine
It cares for all, it cries for peace
It bleeds for love, it smiles with ease
And then all lone the day?! It's fine...
as 'I', am my best Valentine!
It mends my dream, eases my frown
It holds my wishes, n'er let's me down
All darkness, it's my one sunshine!
Yes 'Me', my very best Valentine...
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