Love and other Lies

I heard, that the movie "The Dirty Picture" had good ratings and I was curious enough to read the review of the movie. The story line, to my surprise, was really good and agreed with my thinking, so much so that I wanted to see the movie! It is that old paradox, men want women to give them sex, but the woman who fulfils this basic want gets in return... disrespect. She might be pursued and showered with attention and care but only till she gives him what he wanted following which the man ignores her needs, puts her down in front of his family or friends and so on.

The natural make of a man is such that for him being a son or a friend may be about caring, about loving, but having sex is about dominion, about insulting, about sadism. Man’s instincts make him negative to the object of his lust, that is why the paradox that the woman who fulfils a mans lust gets nothing of his love but rather gets everything in the contrary.

I read somewhere a question- Why do people like love and hate death? Answer- People like love and hate death because love is a lie and death is a truth...
The truth is that, truths are more painful to live with so the world lives by lies. But sometimes it is good to know the truth, especially if the knowledge of truth doesn’t stop you from being yourself, rather helps you understand the real world. One big lie is Sexual "Love" as sex has basically nothing to do with love. The purpose of nature is sustenance through procreation and nature can do anything for it, even hypnotise... All life is hypnotised by a lie called sexual love to serve natures agenda. For procreation, in human terms, man has to have a need which should be prime, like an obsession. For that men have to be basically obsessive and often that is why they are prone to various obsessions, cars, money, power etc. Therefore there is no one and only true sexual love for a man as it would go against nature’s drive of procreation. Men are attracted to all women, and the act of sex being basically an act of dominion, is sadistic and can evoke even scorn and disgust in him. That is why women in marriages often become the punching bag of the man, an object to take out all his problems and issues on. "The paradox of relationships is that men cannot imagine having sex with a women they respect too much as a friend; whereas women want as a sexual partner one who respects her and is a friend!"

'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh' Matthew 19:5. In marriage, the lust and associated issues is sanctified with the demand that the man should consider his wife more important than even the oldest relation in his life of a mother and a father. Since sexual act is basically an act of dominion of man over woman, this dominion can be nullified only when it is in exchange of submission of the man to the needs of the partner in terms of giving more priority to the partner than any other relation, however much older. Women become vulnerable if they have bowed down to a man, given him sex. They are at the mercy of their lover and need reassurance that the dominion is in exchange for all of the attention and love of their man. But of course this does not often happen as instincts win over marital vows.

“Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other” This is what St. Paul says in Galatians 5: 16-17. Love of flesh and love of god cannot coexist. Despite the fact that there is something called spiritual sex and though it can unlock our bliss centres, but still it requires two participants on an equal plane of existence loving each other in spirit and not in body. This, if not possible, is not so favourable as two sexual partners are more intensely affected by each other's actions. Two people can rarely grow together in spirituality at the same pace all through their life. One may be spiritual but if the other oscillates between the material and spiritual planes, it affects the other partner more intensely as both "are one". Spirtual awakening through sex is more possible for women who unify love and sex, but as mentioned it has its risks and vulnerabilities. For the majority of the world "where sex is, there is no love"; it is blind to the other and is selfish and so "where love is there can rarely be place for sex".

That is why spiritual men (and even women) often prefer to approach spirituality by abstaining from sex. Men have to get over lust for lust is blinding, it does not see the person it only sees the body and is hypnotically blind to the needs of the person and aware of only the selfish needs of the flesh. This is the reason behind why evils abound in the world all revolving around the harm done from the obsession for the flesh.

What then is love? Have you heard of the musk deer who searches all over for the source of a wonderful smell when all the while it was emanating from its own navel? The search of love is not for something outward, we have to unlock love in ourselves realising that love is not the nature of the world we see. Love is the nature of the unseen which we have to unlock, not in others but within ourselves. It is the nature of loving even when you do not get love in return, it is giving even when you get nothing in return. One of the lies the society promotes is “Do good and you will get good in return.” In the real world the giver is scorned, the cruel respected” The giver is taken advantage of and the fear induced respect is the trophy of the cruel. If you give your portion of food to your house help, there is much likelihood that you are the one whom she will be comfortable dumping when you are ill and need more help. If you help someone with money, there is more likelihood the other will start assuming all your money is theirs for the asking. If you have a habit of giving then better know the truth and get used to suffering for the good you do, or get smarter and draw limits so you do not get abused for this habit of giving(for you have to love yourself too!). The dirty picture of love and sex is the same. "The one who gives sex is scorned, whereas one who ignores this need in him is respected and loved ....by the Man."

Also read on sacred sex in Towards building a relationship with God
instincts in sex in men-women