Equilibrium

Part 1- Intro

I had been reading two books simultaneously, possibly because I wasn’t content with the concept of either. Both concepts are true in their own way but seem incomplete. One was about ‘letting go’ of our false self(emotions generated by body). It suggested the escape from troubling emotions by saying ‘I (higher self/soul/cosmic consciousness/true self) am not feeling this, my false self is feeling this. Also saying, ‘I(true self) don’t understand these feelings!

I really can't accept that because I believe that recognizing the inner self (higher self) should not require us to deny existence to our body! After all, the Higher self 'chose' to be in a body, then how can it totally ignore the existence of the body and its emotions!

The other book is about ‘the law of attraction’ It says that 'if we are feeling negative, we draw negative experiences. Therefore to bring all our desire’s to fulfillment, we should make sure we are always feeling good. Whenever we feel bad, we should shift to thinking something good so that we can feel good and draw good.' But then what about resolving issues that are making us feel negative! Moreover isn't it Life and often negative circumstances that lead the body, the false self, to search for better (lasting) or rather Higher solutions and so leads it to recognize the Higher self within. Why should then one prefer a particular circumstance over other? Rather one should let the body lead itself in whatever way to complete and lasting self discovery.

It was while I was shuffling with dissatisfaction between these two books, hoping to somehow finish them, that I happened to see the movie Equilibrium. It has made it to my favourite movies list (inspite of violence and a little lack in logic) because it reflected my point of view and satisfied me. The story is about a step taken to prevent another world war. It is decided that the root cause of war is man’s ability to feel. So to remove anger, jealousy and hate, a medicine is taken by the human race which make them emotionless. The price of this is that they don’t feel the good emotions either, but atleast there is no war and the human race is preserved. But the question is what are they living for? Just to carry forward the race? Finally the conclusion of the story is, 'Emotions are not the cause of war. Emotions are a gift that makes life worth living and not a mere existence. The cause of war is the lack of skills to manage emotions. It is when not managed, that the gift becomes chaos'.

The question now is only how to manage the emotions? Only when we recognize that we are actually a part of the infinite and that the body and its emotions are instruments to us that we would try to objectively learn about this instrument without ego association with the instrument. We would then recognize correctly its strong points and weak points and use it as an instrument. But still… 'I' am here within it to use it, not to let it gather dust just because this emotion charged instrument is not me! Fine, it is not me, but it is mine, and it is in my hand to be used….correctly.

When the instrument experiences the negative emotions, we would try to solve its problems in ways that suit it’s make. Sometimes it may require recognizing the futility or stupidity of an emotional reaction and so ‘letting go’ of it. But at other times, it involves understanding a reaction and the need for a proper immediate action and so requires just ‘letting be’, under ‘Higher supervision’.
I told this to someone but my idea was dismissed as lower understanding and I was provided with a book ‘ Practicing the power of now’ by Eckhart Tolle (especially to thwart my belief in possibility of destiny). I began reading it and quite amazingly I find it infact seconding what I believe!

I quote-‘To relinquish judgement does not mean that you do not recognize dysfunction…when you see it. …….You will then either be totally free of reaction or you may react and still be the knowing, the space in which the reaction is watched and allowed to be.’
Also I quote, 'There are cycles of success...and there are cycles of failure....The down cycle is absolutely essential for spiritual realization.' Also, 'when you have reached a certain degree of presence, you don't need negativity anymore to tell you what is needed in your life situations. But as long as negativity is there, use it. Use it as a kind of signal that reminds you to be more present.'
These words in this particular book reflected my thoughts in quite the exact words!

And so I am assured and can affirm that I believe that Being the True self is not always about ignoring negativity around and within. For Example spirituality is not about letting other people abuse you with their words or actions, just because the higher self is not supposed to be affected! Rather, being the true self is often acknowledging the feeling of the body and using the accumulated wisdom and understanding of the brain and also the intuition of the heart to carry through the body's reaction. Being the true self is not about going to the other extreme. It is all about recognizing the other extreme but arriving at the right equilibrium of an awakened spirit living a whole and fulfilled life within a body.

Art of not Giving!

I am writing this as a reflection a day after Good Friday. Jesus GAVE up his LIFE to save us. Being a christian always means being 'giving'
But believe me, the Bible also advocates that 'Not Giving' is as important as giving! In fact compulsively giving may not turn out to be always good. One has to know when to -NOT GIVE.
For example- giving good advice. Do all people like to follow advice? No
A listening sort of person would take a good advice after consideration mostly at the first instance.
The Bible says in essense that if you find someone doing something wrong advice him three times and if he still does not listen 'have nothing to do with him'.
To what extent should we have 'nothing to do with him'?
The Bible says somewhere (as an advice to apostles) that if you are not recieved in a particular home, then as you leave shake even the dust of the house off your feet.
That's symbolic of how complete the cut off should be!

What does such total leaving or not giving do?!
Not Giving helps the 'not giver' and could eventually also help the 'not given' too!
It is very difficult to totally have nothing to do with a person you love. But you will only hurt yourself everyday by holding on to a non listener. When all forms of attachment are abandoned, you will not feel the need to advice and when you dont advice you wont be agonized with helplessness when your words are not heeded to.That is how it helps the 'non-giver'.

Whereas when a person who hates to be 'told' finds he has been abandoned, he misses the care, tries to incite you to advice but when all fails, he will finally look 'at the advice'! It might take years for the person to come to your answer, but it is better than never, as would otherwise have been, and you would have saved years of agony on yourself. We owe something to ourselves first and why bear a futile unrest in life FOREVER for a non listener however much loved!


Art of Not Giving in a nut shell
1. Learn to recognize non listeners
2. Stop 'telling' a non-listener'; you will only earn for yourself the title of a nag!
3. Have nothing to do with the person, cut off 'emotionally'.

Power of Circumstances

I had scorned even the thought of reading the autobiography of Adolf Hitler. Why would I want to read the mind of a murderer! But since yesterday I am thinking of reading it.

Yesterday I happened to switch on the TV to a movie which held my interest. It happened to be based on the happenings in Adolf Hitler's life that gave him the major and final push into politics. It seems that Hitler actually wanted to make his carrier as an artist, and politics was just a fall back plan for him! His dreams to be a recognized artist were destroyed once and for all; his final attempt was squashed (by those who noticed his oratory skills that could mesmerize people, and wanted to use it for their political interests). That is how the movie ends.

Just Imagine how history is made! Men, who understandably need career and success in life are often forced by this very basic need to walk in a particular direction and path which is fenced on both sides by firmly closed doors!! And that makes for 'His Story' in many possible ways- the good, the bad, the unimaginable.

A month back I had read 'Devil in Pinstripes' by Ravi Subramanium and had arrived at a similar conclusion. The innocent ,clean hero of the book eventually turns out to be capable of being as much a devil as the two in his company whom he loathed. Carrier, need for success and growth, professional rivalry, all this throws up situations where profit and self interest thwart away every moral consideration.

We may learn our values very well, ingrain it firmly as a part of our very self, but ...circumstances...,they have an undefyable force of their own that can push away the firmest of values like paper cards. A power that could make 'any' man do or be what had been once unimaginable. So it is not really wise to think we are clean and good people, when we have had no 'fenced paths' in our life. To have walked the wrong path or the possibility to walk the wrong path is also therefore not impossible in any person's life. But to have the will to break the fence and the emotional power to push to the right but difficult path against the power called circumstances,..... that is what in fact actually requires all the substance and all the spirit in Man.

New age 'etiquettes'

I have been learning and trying to incorporate the new age 'etiquettes' for some time now, and nothing helps me incorporate lessons better than writing it down.
1. If you dont like something dont say it, just forget to do something that you usually do.
2.If questioned dont tell the truth that it was because you were hurt, just say you forgot. You avoid an issue but make your statement without actually making any.
3. It is cool to ignore some statements of the other person
4. It is cool to answer only one question, when you are asked two.
5. It is cool to look busy when the other person is trying to talk to you.


The old world was well mannered and truthful and genuine, but if you are that way today you would not be respected! No, I am not being sarcastic. If you find old world people like yourself, be as you are, but when you see the slightest hint of a new age personality and you want to be respected, then be of the new world or else...it really can get frustrating and you might end up gettin hurt!
Soon the new age person will come round and try being sweet to you, BUTdont soften and revert to the original you. The new age is deceptive and selfish. Dont let down your guard, be selfish, keep carrying through your new age plan, keep looking out. ......if you hate being hit when you are not looking!

PS: It's a different world all around today, and it is wise to adapt. I only mean that; 'When in Rome do as the Romans do'. I dont mean at all that being Roman is good. Adapting will help protect your interests (which hopefully are good and important enough!)

God, and the parent

Why is it that the power we call God is often considered as a parent? Is it merely because this power is responsible for creation, or is it because in many intriguing and astounding ways, this unseen power is directing us by a complicated enmeshed set of guidelines.
While I was studying a course in creative teaching, I was taught about different ways of helping a child develop the right attitudes. I had thought then that when I have my own kids I would use the same techniques. But I realized the hard way that being a parent 24/7 does not give time to think and use techniques! The real parent often just reacts rather than proacts, and it just gets worse when you have more than one to handle!
But when I look at how God works in each of our individual lives, he does seem to be using all those creative techniques and even has patience for each and every living being!

Let me give examples. When a child does something wrong, rather than slapping or caning, the teacher/parent is supposed to use ‘consequences’. ‘If you don’t keep back your toys today, you wont get to play with them tomorrow’. That’s a simple example of consequence. But I find even that very difficult to apply! I may quite easily use that statement today but tomorrow when my child pesters me with constant chatter just when I am trying to relax with a book, what do I do!? ‘Go and play with the toys’ That’s what I would end up saying!

But the power behind the universe called ‘God’, uses consequences without fail for every act that every individual does. ‘The Law of Karma’ is nothing but the ‘technique of consequence’. God never punishes us; rather our actions catch up on us.

One interesting creative technique of teaching was ‘being a scaffold’. For example if a child asks a question, don’t give the answer right away. Wonder with the child, ask leading questions which he/she can answer and lead by small rungs to the final answer. This is to help the child think on his own.
“Give a man a fish, he will have something to eat, but teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.”
But as a parent of a ‘gemini’ child who even thinks aloud in words and questions, I often find myself just irritatedly snapping at questions!
But God has the patience to use the technique effectively for each and every individual! Now really how much patience would that require!!
Whenever seeking for answers of any sort, all of us would have noted the coincidences in life that seemingly are unrelated to our question or goal, but after a long winding way, or little rungs of success, we suddenly find ourselves somewhere that is in some queer way linked to our state of mind or questions about a couple of years(or more) ago. That is how God works; never dropping things into our lap as answer to every silly prayer, but gently guiding us to a state of mind where our prayers are more meaningful and answers are just over the next rung.

God is an unseen parent but is so much more efficient than any well meaning visible human parent! And for all the damage that parents can do to kids by bad parenting, God can reverse it and bring something good out of it. Don’t children of insensitive parents sometimes think through it all and learn the importance of being sensitive and become better people than they would have otherwise been? Their lonely life often forces them to turn to the one real perfect parent of all…, the God Parent, and learn His ways.

God does intend us to realise eventually that what we are looking for, is often perfection and that is not in the world, its only in His Love...

The good from sin?

I heard 'The Prodigal Son' in church last Sunday! The story (a briefing for those who perchance may not know the story) is that of a man who had two sons. His younger son asked for his share of property and went away with it to explore the world. But soon he squandered all the wealth and was short of money. So he began to work as a hired help feeding pigs! He came to his senses realizing that he had forsaken his father’s love; for in his father’s house even hired men had food to spare! The story goes that he returned and asked forgiveness from his father and said he would work as a slave as he did not deserve to be called his son. His father on the other hand was overjoyed and celebrated his return. But this made the elder son angry and he complained that though he had been an obedient son, never once had his father been as extravagant on him. The father then explained that it is because of the joy of having found a son who had been lost.

On hearing the story again I was just wondering with a little boredom as to how many times since childhood would I have heard a sermon on this topic, when the priest said something that made me pay attention. He said that unless we have fallen into sin and repent and require forgiveness, how would we learn the importance of forgiving. This statement woke me from my half sleep and it suddenly brought into my mind the story of the book (play) 'Lady Windmere's fan' by Oscar Wilde. I had liked it because of a similar message it had held. A woman falls into sin (due to some miscommunication) and loses a lot in life because of that and realizes her blunder.

Later she finds out about her grown up daughter who happens to be in the same position 'of being about to fall into the pit' and rescues her from making the same mistake as her. And then is shared a profound wisdom by the author! I remember the words only vaguely, but he meant, 'that those who have fallen and are considered ‘low’ in society are often better people (than the good people of society who have never committed a serious mistake) because they know where the pits are and are so much wiser because of it and are also in a position to warn and prevent 'the good people' from committing the same mistakes. Their example and experience is what guides the 'good' to remain 'good'....

The basic message of ‘the prodigal son' was skipped in my mind and new messages unfolded! It is true that I have heard 'the prodigal son' around a thousand times since childhood; yet I realized another aspect of its meaning in church today. Wasn't the prodigal son repentant, meek and humble in the end when he returns to his father? And wasn't the son who never ever sinned (never left his father or disobeyed him) arrogant, unforgiving, jealous and too proud of being 'good'!

No doubt, as the priest said, "God sometimes allows us to go away from him"....... so we can come back as better people than what we were as obedient sons!

When one door closes...

When one door closes...another door opens?

Or could it be that when we are single mindedly pursuing one particular door and ignoring the other doors which are more proper for us at that stage, the door we are heading towards closes on our face? We can cry forever at the door or wait forever for it to open, or we could just look around at the other door that was always there, but only now was brought into focus.

I have been thinking...we should be so thankful that there is a power greater than the power of our Focus, that closes the doors we are focussed on. And we should be so thankful to all the doors that close on us. The Negative is just a pricking nudge towards the positive. If we could always look around and choose the best door against our nature to focus on one and become content with it(often beyond it's duration of usefulness), then probably we might never have needed closed doors.

Each person with his/her own particular nature needs his/her own miseries for his/her own good. Knowing this as true is essential sometimes, so we can force ourselves to look around, as sometimes we just can't look away, from our favourite door...