Moving On

On someone dear's suggestion, I am writing one of my blogs as a poem. I am writing about moving on because that is the only constant thing in my life. Changing place, making a new world and moving on; half forgetting the past as some past life, past birth that left half a memory.. sweet bitter; loved despised. But it leaves some questions... what is all of it worth, that I have to leave behind? Why all the investment in a home, in friends when it has to be left behind, when I have to eventually move on? It is a question on life itself. something like what the book of Eclestiastics says- 'Everythng is Meaningless'

MOVING ON

Why work up sand castles,
when the tide will bring it down?
why smile at the sea,
and go on building on?
when nothing lasts time,
there is only the moving on.

Would there stay a joy
'it was best it was tall'?
will there be an ache
'oh! the tide, oh! the fall'?
thinking back or moving on,
what does last through it all?

Does it thrill looking back,
or deep does it grieve?
for time even dims,
beloved memories.
clutching all or moving on?
clawing in on the breeze?

There is joy there is pain
in the stride, in the toss,
of the dreams fulfilled
but left far across.
moving on with a gain,
moving on with a loss.

With a smile full of cheer
on a heart that is worn,
to dreams yet to come
when the day is so gone,
to another world unknown
is forever, the moving on.

Terror Attacks

I have visited Jaipur, friends live there. Last year I watched the laser show in lumbini gardens a few months before the blasts. have also travelled in the mumbai local trains. The tragedies cause pain and yes it does terrorize as intended. But what terrorizes more is that it is definitely sadists who do it and our pain and pleas only excite them to do more. No they can't be people with a purpose. No purpose can justify such disrespect for life and emotions.

Music

Yesterday was a day filled with music, where I was reminded of my long forgotten earlier favourites in songs like dil hai ki..., chupana bhi nahin... and O mere sapnonke saudaagar... I was surprised that I remembered most of the lines! Today,  I am listening to my current favourites from Jab we met. Sort of like these songs represent yesterday and today. 

At each place that I have lived ( in defence campuses) , I have been a different person and kind of lived a different life altogether. Like many lives in a lifetime! Each favourite music of a different period reminds me of those 'different lifetimes'. I feel that I am back in that time frame with all those friends I made in each of those places. I do value the time I had with my friends but I could not to keep in touch! That is the price paid for being a 'nomad'. How can one find time when it's like 10 friends multiplied by 11 places, that is 110! 

But I do live with them again each time I listen to those old favourites. 

I hope some old friends find me in the virtual world and share time-space again!

Being Sick! Let it not take the fun out of the moments...

Day before yesterday I had my first flight experience. I forgot my fear as we suddenly took off into the air and I could see the lighted city below; but then suddenly, I found it difficult to breathe,and felt giddy. My hands began getting stiff and I thought I will faint. I wanted to shout 'BRING THE PLANE DOWN!' (quite like in the movie where Kajol shouts and forces the plane to land) I don't know if it was just a matter of air-sickness or it was further spiced up by some kind of a panic attack. I was given some hot drink.

I had the experience again as the plane started to descend and I also puked. When we finally got down from the plane, I felt the same as I do when I come out of water after a long swim.

But thinking back I felt that the residual feel of having suddenly lost control of my body is a THRILL.

The experience of  - "Wow! Even when 'I' am fine; my body can go SUDDENLY and totally berserk." It was really something to know that there can be 'mechanical malfunctions' due to sudden environmental change, though 'I' was fine despite the changed environment and was initially totally lost in the scene below!

So what I think about being sick is that " actually 'I' am never really sick, even though the body can malfunction and get sick"! but of course, I did let it affect me in a way that I forgot the view and was totally concerned about getting the body back in control. Once I got down from the plane I regretted not having watched how the sea looked!!!!

So yeah. Letting air-sickness hijack the whole trip was not so fine. Good that there is a next time, and we can work things out yet.